Behind the Mask
by Simultaneity
Summary: The tributes are assembled. But the games are canceled and no one has an explanation. Without the games, Cato is lost and alone. With some help, maybe he can finally be the person he never could. Cato/Peeta
1. Chapter 1

**I own NOTHING. Enjoy.**

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Waking up, I instantly knew something was wrong. It was the warrior's instinct that was forced on me my entire life. I remembered vaguely that it was the day of the reaping and pushed the feeling of doom off. Today was my day, the day I was to volunteer. _Expected_ to volunteer, honestly. I kept telling myself it was what I wanted, trained my whole life for, but even with all my training the logic never fit. Why would you volunteer? Even with all the training, there's no gaurantee of victory. Sighing, I drag myself from my bed to look in the mirror. I hated mornings, it always took time to put my mask on. The mask that showed the world that I had no fear, no weakness; nothing but a thirst for blood. My name is Cato, District 2.

The person in the mirror slowly became me, or the person I was meant to be. I smiled at myself, completing my transformation and liking what I saw. Not only did I know how to fight, but I knew how to think, which surprised most people. I just look the idiot jock stereotype and I play it off well. The less people know about me, the better off I am.

"Cato, are you awake?" came a voice from behind my door.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." I replied, fixing my blonde hair. My family would kill me if I volunteered looking like a mess.

I open the door and my mother was standing off to the side, "I started a shower for you." Her voice was cold, as always, but held a hint of worry. I silently laughed at her weakness before walking past her into the bathroom.

I shut the door and noticed she had also laid out a nice button up shirt and dress pants for me. I never much cared for formal clothing, but decided to wear them for my family. The heat of the shower did nothing for me, most people enjoy the relaxed feel. I prefer to feel the dull ache from a good workout, lets me know I'm still alive and that I can push myself further. I climb out of the shower, drying myself off when I hear a knock at the door again.

"What?" I snap, patience running thin.

"Breakfast is ready." The same cold tone of my mother muffled by the door.

I slipped my clothes on, watching my muscles ripple. Never underestimate the power of sex appeal in the arena, I tell myself. It was something I told myself often, reassuring the thought. Not that I needed to, people were lined up to date me. I never cared much, finding more thrill in slicing up a dummy with my sword. But knowing that girls wanted to date me let me know that I was attractive, but I didn't need them to tell me what I already knew.

I left the bathroom, content with the clothes I was wearing, not as uncomfortable as I thought they would be. My mother was finishing up pancakes when I walked into the kitchen. I didn't give her a second look before grabbing one off a plate and walking out the front door.

The pancake was sweet, something I wasn't expecting figuring my mother put extra sugar in the batter for the occasion. It irritated me as I chucked it off to the side. My mother, knowing I would volunteer tried to give me a decent breakfast. It was weak.

I mentally prepared myself for the next few hours before finding my way to the reaping grounds. I was accounted for and waited for it to begin. Some lady, dressed up with to much make up and having an odd shade of orange in her hair walked us through the normal routine before reaching into the girls bowl.

"Ber—" She didn't get to finish before a brunette girl volunteered, pushing herself to the front of the crowd and climbing up the steps. I don't know why they bother with names anymore, someone almost always volunteers in District 2.

I was paying little attention; only catching that her name was Clove before the Capitol woman was reaching into the men's bowl. I didn't even give her the chance to say the name before I was shouting.

"I volunteer!"

It came more excited than I anticipated, but decided to play along with it, making myself seem more thrilled for the blood bath to come. There was no need to push my way through the crowd, people naturally avoided me due to my size. I made myself run up to the stage, playing the façade of the eager volunteer.

"And what is your name?" came the shrill dialect of the capitol.

"Cato."

* * *

The next two days were a mental blur. Even being from district 2, all the luxuries still made my head spin. I stayed in my quarters, having no real intention of talking to anyone. I knew what I was here to do, and I knew what I had to do. All my mentor would tell me is how to get sponsors or how to survive, which is something I already knew, no point in wasting my time listening to him.

But that's when everything changed.

The train slowed to a stop as we pulled up to the capitol. But the feeling I had a few days ago returned. Something wasn't right. Everything I knew was telling me to stay on the train, that what waited for me was worse than any death I could face in the arena.

Before I was even able to react, my door was pushed open. Peacekeepers.

"Keep your hands where I can see them." He said as he searched my room. I remained silent. I knew something wasn't right. This isn't how the tributes are treated, something was happening. He seemed to be satisfied with his search and reached to grab me. I naturally defended myself, easily stopping the mans advance on me. The last thing I remember was grabing the man's wrist and snapping it with ease.

* * *

I awoke in a strange room, feeling the throbing pain in my head, I assumed that I was knocked out and brought here. But where is here? My mind started to race, not having the normal protective mask I put on every morning. Was I in jail? No, I couldn't be. This place is much too nice to be a prison. Then again, what tribute isn't a prisoner deep down.

"Where the fuck am I?" I shout, not recognizing my voice. That's right, I never put my mask on, the person I am right now isn't the person I show the world. Panic began to kick in as I lept from my bed and ran towards the door, happy that it was unlocked.

Bursting into the common area, I noticed Clove and our mentor sitting at a table having breakfast. No need to state that I was confused, my face said it all.

"Look who finally woke up," Clove's sneered. "Just so you know, that Peacekeeper isn't to happy with you. You're lucky you're a tribute and pretty much free from Capitol punishment."

This got a rise out of our mentor, who nearly chocked on a waffle as he began to giggle. He then turned to look at my confused face and totally lost it, waffle pieces launching out of his mouth and catching themselves in Clove's hair.

"That's disgusting." Clove was fingering the bits out of her hair in gross detestment. I was still standing motionless, confusion probably still written all over my face.

No one was answering my questions, so I decided to ask them. "What is going on? How long was I out? Where are we? How did I get here?" I spouted the questions out, not recognizing my own unmasked voice.

"Well, we are in the Tribute Tower. You were out for almost a day. I dragged you here," Clove explained, "which by the way, was not an easy task." She hesitated a moment, her eyes drifted low and then came back with a sly smile. "But I enjoyed every moment."

Before I could even think I was shouting, "What did you do to me?" My shouting caused a strange reaction from our mentor who screamed sheepishly and tried to hide behind his spoon. "And is this guy high or something?" I added.

"I didn't do anything, your highness." Clove swooned, "I wouldn't dream of it. As for him" gesturing towards our mentor, "I don't really know. He doesn't seem all that sane, he's acted like this since I met him, but I guess you wouldn't know since this is the first time you've actually cared to show yourself."

It was the first time I really felt any remorse from anyones words. I caught myself dwelling on the thought of neglecting my mentor and Clove and willed my mask to return. But it wouldn't, and I knew that. I needed the time to prepare and there were too many questions running through my head to concentrate.

"Well then at least tell me what has happened." My voice still unfamilliar, slightly higher pitched than what I'm used to.

She quirked an eyebrow, most likely noticing my higher voice as well. "Apparently something happened while we were on the train. No one is telling any of the tributes anything at the moment, but all plans for the game stopped. It sounds like this year isn't going to happen."

That explains the Peacekeepers barging in. It didn't make any sense though, what could have possibly happened to stop the games? Surely it couldn't have been an uprising, otherwise us tributes would have all been killed on the spot if only to show the districts that the Capitol has full power. What could it possibly—

"You seem different." Clove stated, watching me more closely. I don't think she figured it out, but I played it off by pointing at my throbbing head. She nodded but didn't lose that coniving glare. "The tributes are meeting for lunch in the practice room. There are no rules agianst conversing and from the looks of it, we're gonna be for a while. Mind as well make the best of it."

The news stunned me. They stopped the games for unknown reasons? I suppose conversing wouldn't be the worst idea, get a little more information about the other tributes. But it works both ways, the more I learn about them, the more they can learn about me.

"Not a talker, are you?" Her voice breaking my concentration yet again. "It wouldn't kill you to make an appearance. From the sounds of it, it's gonna be a long and lonely wait for the games for you. They may never even happen, probably send us back home. Just come on down with me. I've met with a few of them already, they aren't so bad."

They aren't so bad… The thoughts rang in my ear. This is completely backwards. I nod at her before returning to my room. I need to compose myself. I stared at myself in the mirror, willing my mask back to life. My mind was clouded with thoughts and my mask was getting harder to put on.

I must have been trying for a few hours, because there was a knock at the door with Clove's distinct voice, "Are you coming?"

Dammit, this was gonna be tough, "Yeah, hold on." I replied.

I turned from the mirror, not recognizing the person staring back. Little I could do. But I was smart, I'd just observe and say as little as possible. I'd stick with Clove and let her do all the talking; she already thinks I'm quiet.

The trip downstairs to the training area was silent. We walked past the untouched equipment into the dinning hall. There were only two people there, a guy and a girl conversing quietly. "District 12" Clove whispered. I nodded.

The boy noticed our arrival and stood up to great us. He waved to Clove, obviously having already met. He walked over with his hand outstreched in a welcoming hand shake.

"Hi, I'm Peeta Mellark." He said as he reached for my hand.

My eyes widened as his hand made contact with mine, the warmth and strength of his hand was something I've never felt before and made me feel slightly queasy. He stared at me, waiting for a response.

"Uhh Hi…" I stopped, my voice wasn't mine once again, damn my inability to regain my mask. I forced my voice lower, "Erhm, Hi. I'm Cato." That was awful, I sounded like a woman pretending to talk in a man's voice.

"District 2, right?" Peeta said, giving me a strange look but releasing my hand and his smile returned. "I'm from District 12, this is Katniss Everdean, also from District 12." He gestured towards a scowling brunette girl that was still sitting.

"Nice to meet you," I forced myself to say. God that was completely fake. "This is Clove." I said pointing at Clove who looked irritated. "Oh, you two probably already, er, met." I rambled.

Peeta smiled, a genuine smile. A smile that was warmer than his handshake. And that's when I knew it was all over. I knew that without my mask, this boy would have me in the palm of his hands. And I was fucked.

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A/N: I've got a few chapters done, but gonna wait a bit to see how this works out before continuing. Don't be afraid of slightly dark "I don't care" style of writting. It will change as Cato develops. After all, it is in his perspective. Tips: Don't be a bitch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews. I didn't expect to wake up to so many of them.**

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I couldn't place the feeling, having left all emotion when I was a child to protect myself for this moment. The moment was distorted though. I was supposed to be smiling as I ran this boy through with my sword and watch his blood cover the ground.

His smile never left as he waited for me to say something. Looking up I forced a smile, finding it easier when our eyes met. I hate this boy.

Clove must have gotten bored because I heard her sigh discontently, "This isn't creepy at all." She remarked on the two of us standing there awkwardly smiling at each other.

It was all I needed to snap myself back to reality. Breaking the eye contact, I turned my back to him; prepared to run. But then I was surrounded, the other tributes flooding into the dinning hall, all chance of escape faded.

I turned back to Peeta and Clove who were both watching me, neither having moved. Clove was annoyed, which wasn't a surprise. Peeta looked concerned, like a child who didn't understand what he did wrong. I tried to tell Clove we should go meet the other tributes, anyone else. But she ignored my silent message. A shock of horror ripped through my body as I saw her evil grin appear. What was she planning? She couldn't possibly plan to keep me here with this boy? Why would she even do that? To torture me?

"Hey, Cato." Clove spoke, "You owe me one for the whole train incident. You're heavier than you look. Keep Peeta here company for a minute while I talk to Katniss."

I looked over at the brunette girl who's eyes widened at hearing her name. She fidgetted in her seat, probably afraid she had to talk to Clove and contemplating a retreat just as I was.

"Katniss isn't going to like that." Peeta said, watching Clove practically stomp over to her. Still watching the two girls expressions. "Katniss likes to keep to herself."

"Not much of a talker? That's alright, people tell me I talk to much, or something like that."

I turned to him, that damn smile still on his face. What am I supposed to say to him? Oh it sucks we're here, mind as well all be friends? What do the other tributes wan't from me? I've never been the nic—

I was to busy lost in my thoughts, I didn't see the bimbo run into me. Stumbling I lost my footing. A hand reached out to help steady me, catching my shoulder, but I was still falling. All I could feel was the warmth of the hand on my shoulder. I don't remember hitting the ground or, come to think of it, even falling. The warmth on my shoulder was heavy, "Good thing we aren't in the arena, I expected a little more from District 2." I vaguely heard giggling from the comment, but nothing was really registering.

My head was spinning and that sick emotion was back. My vision slowly began to clear and I meet blue eyes starring back at me. He was still holding me steady, and apparently I was still on my feet. What was happening?

"Oh I'm sorry," someone elses hands were trying to steady me, cold and rigid. I instinctiely moved away from it only to move closer to the heat.

Both hands left me and my head cleared at once. "I didn't see you there. By the way, my name is Cassie. District 9." She smiled innocently. I must have looked confused because everyone was starring at me.

I didn't know what to say, or what to do. I turned to Peeta, but I didn't want his help. My eyes stopped at Clove, and I silently begged her to help me. She must have caved because she stood up and walked over.

"Alright, leave him alone. The guy's just confused. He got knocked out by a Peacekeeper and basically woke up 3 hours ago." She said. I didn't know Clove even had a heart, from what I knew, she was just as cold as I was. But I don't really know her that well, Come to think of it, I didn't know who I was lately either. Certainly not the same person that prepared for this his whole life. Clove pushed her way through the crowd, leaning in to whisper, "Do you want to leave."

"Yes." I nearly shouted, but thankfully no one but Clove heard. She gently pushed me towards the door, her hands feeling cold but comforting compared to the District 9 girls'.

"What's everyone staring at? Get back to your mingling!" Clove shouted. At that moment, I knew I'd like Clove, she had the same temper that I did. She was much the same person and I felt that I could trust her. Or trust her as much as I would allow myself to. "Assholes." Muttered Clove as the elevator door shut around us.

"And what is your deal anyway?" Clove's anger returning. "You've got this confused look everywhere you go. Don't you think the rest of us are begging for answers? Everyone is on the same page except you."

"I don't know what my deal is." I honestly replied.

Clove must have understood because the anger wasn't in her voice anymore, "I know exactly what you mean. It sucks." I knew she was talking about our training. All of it seems so useless now, a waste of time if we aren't even going to fight. "It's like I don't have a purpose anymore."

She looked at the ground, my gaze following hers. "But you know what? Theres no point in dwelling on it. It finally gives us the chance to be people. A real person, not some machine. Plus I think that Cassie girl kind of likes you. It didn't seem like she "accidentally" bumped into you."

Cloves transformation from killing machine to excited school girl was so fast. I only looked at her for a moment, catching that evil grin. "Oh come on, take a joke!" Clove shouted at me as I left the elevator

We were walking into the common area when she grabbed me by the arm. "Don't even think about locking yourself in your room."

I just stared at her and gave her my best, _leave me alone_, look. It would have been more convincing if I had my mask on. If I did, this whole debachle wouldn't have even happened.

"You need to open up a bit more." Clove explained, "At least talk to me, you have to talk to someone." I knew what she meant, but my mind was elsewhere. District 12. What does this boy have over me?

I didn't say anything more, but silently agreed to sit on the couch together.

Clove went off, telling me everything she wants to do with her life, who she thought was cute and how she's excited that the chances of her having her own family are possible now. I payed little attention, but took most of what she said.

"Tell me more about the two from District 12." I blurted out, cutting her off.

"District 12, huh?" Clove sneered, "Did you finally make a friend? You seemed kind of cozy. I wouldn't worry though, you probably scared him off."

I just stared at her, not understanding what she was talking about. Apparently Clove gave in, figuring explaining it would kill the joke. "Well, the girl is Katniss. Honestly, shes nothing special. She's a lot like you, except more bitchy whereas you just look lost."

I could see that. But then it hit me. Why do I even care? I never cared about people before and I didn't know why I all of a sudden did.

"Well, hes not so bad. You get kind of drawn to him because he always seems to say the right thing." Clove finished. I was to busy in my own thoughts that I missed the middle of her explanation.

"Cato…" Clove started. "Can I ask you something and answer me honestly?" She waited for my response. I nodded, figuring if I didn't like the question I could still lie my way out of it.

"Who are you?" The question took me by surprise, but I didn't even know what she meant by it. "I mean, when we first met, I had this idea of you. And you fit it so well. But now you're someone else, like you've lost your way."

I didn't want to tell her about my mask, but I didn't want to lie either. The damn mask left me vulnerable, able to feel everything that's happening. It's a lot like living in a black and white house, only to be thrown into a field of colors. I decided to be honest with her.

"I am a different person. Ever since I can remember, my family pushed me to be a fighter. I learned at an early age that if I shut emotion out, it was easier. It made me ruthless, fearless. But every morning, I'd have to focus, and push it all away. I called it my mask. But this morning, I had too many questions that weren't answered, too much going through my head that I couldn't push it out. And now I'm lost, never knowing how to deal with the emotions I'm getting. I feel weak." It was my story, but it sounded like someone else told it. I reminded myself that it was my voice, only different.

I waited for Clove to say something. Anything. But there was only silence. The familiar rage, the only emotion I allowed myself to have my whole life, was building at her silence to my life story. "All of a sudden you have nothing to say?" I shouted.

"No, it's not that." Clove whispered. She looked hurt by my temper. Good, the pain was familiar and welcomed. I was about to leave when I heard my name.

"Cato,"

"What." I replied coldly

"You can't go through life without emotion. It's what makes life worth living."

I scoffed it off, the sooner I could free myself from it the better, my life was easier without them. And with them it was overwhelming.

I stormed out of the common area into my room. My anger had diminished quickly and left me with regret. I hated regret, something I never felt until this morning. There were a lot of things I never felt until this morning and Clove's last words to me started to make more sense.

I went over the day, trying to force myself to relive it. The regret from ignoring Clove and my mentor. The fear of not being able to put my mask back on. And then… That strange feeling from District 12. The warmth of his hands. Heat was always something I dismissed, never caring for its relaxing touch. Then why was I entranced by it? Then I remembered Cassie's hands on me. They were cold and rigid like ice. Clove's touch was similar, having the same cool feeling, but having something deeper to it.

I forced myself to look in the mirror, willing it all to go away. My head was spinning again, never having had to think about things like this before. Is this confusion and pain really what makes life so wonderful? Then I want nothing of it. But I can't seem to shut it off.

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A/N: I don't really have anything to say... I just like throwing little comments here. However, I've got nothing at the moment. I've got chapter 3 done, almost done with 4... So... We'll see how everyone likes it. Plus I totally fucked up Katniss last name. EVERDEEN***, betches.


	3. Chapter 3

**Science Fiction. Oo, oo, oo, Double Feature. Just because I can.**

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I don't know when I fell asleep, but I awoke to a knock at the door. Ignoring it, I crawled out of bed and walked over to my mirror to start my routine. The sooner, the better. However, the knocks never stopped, only got louder and more insistant.

"What!" I shouted, my quick temper escaping before I even had time to think.

"Breakfast is ready."

Clove. It had to be only 4 in the morning. Why was she awake? And why is breakfast made? Deciding to ignore her, I continued with my routine. My mind was racing making it hard to focus on my emotions and bury them.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing in there." Clove shouted through the door. "Get your ass out here now, or I'll break in."

The banging became more pronounced. She was serious. I turned back to the mirror, not knowing the person staring back, but something became more familiar. I've spent to long with emotion, even if it had only been a day. This person was someone I had no interest in knowing but had no choice in finding out.

The crash startled me. Clove was full out bashing the door down. "Alright! Knock it off, I'm coming."

Pushing the door open, I noticed Clove with a heavy candle stick, "Christ, you're gonna wake the whole damn tower." I snapped.

"Fine by me, as long as you don't go all emotionless on me." Clove shouted back. "The games are done, I'm not letting you become a wasted person."

"Why do you even care so much?" I sneered. When did I become so talkative?

"Because it hurts me to watch someone with no purpose. We've lost ours; now make yourself a new one." Clove returned. And that was the end of the discussion, I knew Clove wouldn't press further, and I didn't want to battle her over it.

Walking further into the common area, I was berated with the smell of breakfast. She really wasn't lying about the food. She watched me, smiling at me as I walked to the table.

"What?" I sheepishly asked.

"Nothing, just the first time I saw you smile. And it wasn't fake." Clove answered.

"Yeah well, I haven't eaten since..." I paused, "I don't even remember. Had to be sometime on the train." This got a laugh from Clove and I felt myself smiling at her even more. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all. If this is what I'm missing in my life, then maybe having it isn't so bad.

The table was full of some of the best food I've seen, some I'm seeing for the first time. Picking up some fruit, I reached for some pancakes but stopped. My mother had made me pancakes the day I left, I remember the anger that filled me over the situation, but now I only felt pain. What kind of son becomes so angry with his mother for doing something sweet for what might have been the last time they ever saw eachother?

Clove noticed my hesitation, reaching for a pancake and devouring it in one bite. It snapped me from my memory and I just smiled at her, "You are so disgusting." I laughed.

"The only way to eat a pancake. One bite." She winked. "Looks like you got something on your mind, care to share?"

I paused again, staring at the pancakes.

"What, afraid of pancakes?" She joked. "You get your emotions back and the first one you feel is fear. From a pancake. They don't bite… Unless you want them to!" She grabbed some tobasco sauce and doused her next pancake with it before devouring it whole just the same as the first.

I scrunched my nose at the combination, deciding to let the question fall and hope Clove was too involved in her strange breakfast to pry. I popped a piece of pineapple in my mouth, grabbed some toast and sat down on the couch.

"So today I was thinking of meeting some more of the tributes." Clove broke the silence between chewing. "Did you wanna come?"

"Maybe."

"Oh come on, maybe you'll find a cutie that can take your mind off your despair." Clove winked.

This irritated me, but I tried to keep myself calm. How would that help anything anyway?

She must have noticed my irritation, but continued anyway, "You know, love is one of the best emotions."

"Yeah, so I've heard. Until we all get sent home never to see eachother again." I retorted.

"Never said you had to fall in love. It has degrees, some that can be painful, but others that are worth it."

I sighed, taking a bite of my toast. "I get the feeling you've never felt something for anyone." Clove pried. "Wasn't there anyone back home that caught your eye?"

"You seem to forget that I kept to myself. And what part of emotionless did you not understand?" I shouted, "Now drop the damn suject. I don't care about your little school girl antics."

Clove shyed away. I could tell I hurt her feelings, but I couldn't apologize, I wasn't ready for that kind of talk. Come to think of it I wasn't ready for anything. I gathered my plate and prepared to stand when Clove stopped me.

"You can say as much as you want about me, but I am not letting you go back to your room." Defensive Clove was terrifying. I never saw her stand up to anyone, and I realized why she had volunteered. She may not look it, but she was a fierce fighter. "I'm trying to find my own purpose, and I'm letting myself be the person I always wanted to be. Why can't you do the same?"

"Because I never wanted to be anyone!" I shouted. And it was mostly true, I was perfectly content with being the same thing my whole life. But lately, I don't know where I stand. There's too much to think about, too much that is new.

Clove just stared at me, her eyes piercing through me with her anger. I watched them soften almost instantly and regreted what I said to her. Regret, that one seems to pop up a lot in my 'new life'.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was calm now, "I keep forgetting that I've had more practice with this kind of life."

I sat back down and we continued our breakfast in silence. The sun was just rising as I started my orange, watching the sunrise and orange mix, the colors bleeding together. I never cared to look at the beauty of it before. But now the scene made the orange taste that much more special. It left me feeling warm inside. That same warmth that I've hated my entire existance but now simply embrace it. The same warmth that I felt yesterday with District 12. No, his name is Peeta. I decide to delve a little and pick Clove's brain.

"Did you have someone back home?" I forced myself to ask her, and she lit up when she heard me.

"Not anymore." She said, "But then again, he left me way before any of this happened. I thought I loved him, but he told me I was cold, too much of a machine."

I watched her expressions, trying to care about her story but really only wanting her to explain something to me. I didn't want to outright ask in case it would bring up more questions.

"That's when I honestly let myself feel more. If only a little. I never blocked out my emotions, only dulled them. Ever since then I decided it wasn't worth it."

"How did you know you loved him?" I asked.

"Its just something you know deep down. Just being around them makes you feel like you're safe. Nothing can happen to you. Like you're warm all over." She explained.

I had dropped the rest of my orange, forgetting I was holding it. My question was answered, but left me with many more. I couldn't possibly like this Peeta guy. We barely had a conversation!

"You're not telling me something." Clove noticed my reaction. She scooted closer to me with that same school girl ferocity in her eyes and I knew that I was going to be bombarded with questions. But I didn't even know the answers myself.

"Who is she!" She squealed.

No, this whole thing was wrong. There was nothing there between me and District 12, deciding it was easier not to use his name. The kind of heat Clove explained was not the same, it couldn't be. It was just some weird fluke.

Clove didn't look happy with my silence, and probably figured that I really was hidding something. "What? Oh, no one." I explained, I noticed my orange and picked it up, thinking of the warmth that it provided me during the sunrise. "I just got the same feeling from this orange. Does that mean I'm in love with it?"

Clove was not amused by my answer, but it wasn't a complete lie. I started laughing at the whole conversation, finding something about it completely wrong yet completely hilarious.

"I'm onto you." Clove stated before walking towards the table for a second helping. She was smiling though. And I knew why. Clove made it her duty to break me from my mask, and here I was laughing and talking about love. She wouldn't push me to spill, not since I've come this far.

"I can come." Clove shot me a dirty glare. I didn't know why, but I figured I'd elaborate. "With you to visit some of the other tributes."

"OH!" she giggled, again, I didn't know why. "Sorry, minds in the gutter."

She noticed my confusion, "Nevermind. Hoping to meet that special girl? She's a lucky one whoever she is. Watch out! Cato's sportin' emotion, a sexy body, and he's gonna come!"

I still didn't get it. But I laughed and acted like whatever it is she said was funny.

I look back out the window. Dawn was over and the sun was perched above the horizon. What was I thinking? What if I run into District 12? I'd decide that I'd deal with it if the time came. First, I needed to work out the new emotions. The more I let them come back, the easier it was to fall into them. It was something completely new. I felt like a newborn and it was terrifying.

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A/N: So Cato kinda started writing himself and he likes to go in circles... But I let him because he basically is a newborn. Which means this story is going to be a lot longer than I anticipated. But it'll be worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

**I Prefer to keep my own perspective on it, so I don't Beta anything. It warps what I want. Because of that, sorry for the spelling and grammatical errors that Word decided to ignore.**

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The mind is a beautiful thing, but when it's broken it's hard to find your way.

I don't know what is happening to me anymore. I try to embrace it but it only brings pain. Try to push it away and it hurts just the same. My only anchor is Clove. After only a day, I had felt closer to her than even my own mother. She pushed me to feel, and it was easier with her.

She never pushed the love topic on me again. She left me alone to shower, but watched me closely, making sure I didn't spend too much time alone. It comforted me that she cared so much about me. It was also a strange feeling to find myself caring for her in return.

My head hurt, this was all happening to fast. I reached for my head in a weak attempt to keep it from bursting. The cool feel of Clove's hand on my back brought me back to reality.

"This isn't easy for you, is it?" She whispered, "Must be that much more difficult since everything we were taught came so naturally. No one understands the brutal world outside of weapons."

She was completely open, it seemed wrong. I wanted to push her away, but let her comfort me. "I'll be fine."

We both stood, ready to tackle the day, Clove transitioning back so easily. It made me jealous that she could just flip herself so naturally. I felt weak, and all I needed, everything I knew, told me to stand infront of the mirror and pull myself together. Become the real me. Struggling with it, I didn't know what I wanted anymore. Did I want to be that person anymore? That person seems like a distant past. I hated that person but longed for his strength.

I was going in circles again and it only hurt my head more. Clove watched me, this time not saying anything, waiting for me to pull through it on my own.

All at once, I'd had enough of it. The gloom feel and the sappiness of the whole situation made me want to leave it behind. I stood tall, and walked across the room. Clove smiled at me, knowing it was best to keep her mouth shut.

We made it to the elevator, waiting for the doors to open when she finally spoke. "It's getting close to lunch, I'd bet a few people are down in the dinning room."

I remained quiet, watching the doors slide open, revealing the interior of the elevator. We walked in, pressing the button for the training center.

I hadn't said a word, and I could tell Clove was concerned now. I turned to her, not really knowing what to say. What do you say to someone during an awkward silence? I was about to speak when the doors opened.

The training area wasn't deserted. A few of the tributes were messing with the equipment, probably out of boredom. There wasn't much for us to do here since we weren't alowed to leave the tower. A few of the men were standing around holding spears. One threw it across the room, hitting the bullseye dead on. There was applause as the boy ventured to the dummy to retrieve his spear.

"Marvel." Clove stated, "District 1. Despite him being a career with us, I never actually sat down and talked to him."

She seemed to be nervous in that school girl way again. I brushed it off not thinking much of it. I didn't want to stay in the training center. There was too much here that made my mind spiral. Thoughts of the weapons I used to use without any guilt of what I killed with them. I longed to pick up a sword, feel the balanced weight of the blade in my hand, but the thought also hurt too much to bear.

Clove followed me into the dinning room. I looked around, noticing a large built man talking casually with two other boys and a girl. "The big guy is Tresh, District 11." Clove explained, she was more in the loop than I was. "The blonde boy is Surge, District 3, the brunette Tyler: District 5."

"And the girl?"

"Bessie, District 10." Clove answered. She looked at the three girls sitting in the middle of the room. "Well, that's different. Didn't think those three would get along."

I stared, noticing a blonde girl, a small brunette girl, and Katniss. The sight of Katniss got me on my toes, I looked around frantically to see if Peeta was also here. Filled with relief, I didn't see him anywhere.

"The blonde is Glimmer, as you can probably guess District 1. The small girl is Rue, District 11."

Of course none of this made any difference. Wonderful, I knew their names, but it didn't make me feel any better. Clove waved to Katniss who quickly looked away and mumbled something to Rue. "I don't know what her problem is." Clove was disappointed. She was trying, but the girl kept shutting her out.

It was the first time I noticed Clove struggle with herself. She seemed strong, but she was in the same boat as me. Lost. Socializing wasn't something our training taught us.

"Good to see you're alive." I froze at the familiar voice from behind me. Turning slowly, I saw the blonde boy from district 12 smiling at me. "Didn't think I'd ever see you again. You looked pretty shaken up yesterday."

All I could think was 'No. Anyone but you.' I could feel my anger building as I battled my mind for control. Clove stepped forward, seeing my struggle.

"He's still a bit shaky. Basically had to drag him down here by the ear." She turned back and winked at me.

He laughed. I felt myself drawing closer to him because of it. There was something there that I couldn't put my finger on. "He looks okay to me."

He was staring right at me. I kept walking forward, having no power of my own. Peeta took one step back at my approach and I instantly stopped. It looked like I caught him off guard. Clove elbowed me in the stomach and said, "Are you going to say anything, or just be a total creep."

"Uhh, right. Hi." God dammit, that was lame. I looked back at the floor, trying to will my fear away. Apparently what I said was funny, because Peeta was chuckling and Clove busted out laughing.

"What is so damn funny?" I shouted before realizing my anger took over. Peeta stopped immediately, but Clove only laughed louder. Everyone in the room was staring at me again. This time I was only thankfull that a handful of us were here.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." Peeta exclaimed. "It was Cato, right?"

I nodded, my anger subsiding slightly. I kicked the asphyxiated Clove which helped me return to normal. "Yeah, and what was your name again?" I asked, trying to play like I had no idea who he was.

"Peeta Mellark." He replied, offering his hand in another handshake. My head stopped, not this again. But I was drawn to it. I reached out for his hand, the warmth once again filling me when we touched.

I smiled. Clove saw it and gave me a strange look. He released my hand and looked in my eyes. What is happening to me? The warmth is still there, even without his hand. I realized it was from his eyes.

"So, whats life like back in District 2? I bet its more exciting than 12." Peeta said, trying to create small talk.

"Uhh, its not really…" I paused, trying to formulate words but failing. For the first time since yesterday, my mind was completely blank.

"Peeta!" someone shouted from behind us. He waved to whoever it was before starting to walk away.

"Sorry, they've been waiting for me. It was nice seeing you again, Cato. Oh, why don't you join us? That is, unless you already have plans." Peeta asked politely. He looked sincere in his offer. I was about to agree, not wanting to leave the boy quite yet.

Clove jumped in before I could even finish my thought. "That's alright, we do have plans. Thanks for the offer! See you later."

"Okay, see you soon!" He waved us goodbye and joined Tresh and his group.

Clove grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the room. I only had time to steal one more glance and noticed he was starring back. Clove was ruthless, jerking me back and forth through the maze of equipment and other tributes until we made it to the elevator. She tapped her foot impatiently waiting for the doors to open.

The second we were inside and the doors were shut, she turned to me. "It's Peeta, isn't it."

I was shocked at her bluntness and didn't know what to say, so I tried to play stupid. "What are you talking about?"

"The girl you were thinking about this morning. Only it's not a girl. It's Peeta." Clove answered.

I sank a little, not knowing how my life turned into such a nightmare in only two days. My reaction must have given Clove all she needed to know. But before I knew it I had sank to the floor of the elevator. She crawled down next to me, wrapping her arm around me.

"Its not a big deal, Cato." She explained, "I'm sorry if I freaked out on you, but it just hit me. The smile you gave him. It was real."

I still had nothing to say, my mind completely blank. There was nothing there except fear. "You've never liked anyone before." Clove said.

"I know that much is true. Not allowing yourself to feel and now you've got a crush for the first time. It must be confusing." She finished, but it didn't help. I just wanted to forget everything. This Peeta kid wasn't a crush. He was nothing. Just someone that gave me feeling. Clove did the same thing, didn't she?

"I don't want to talk about it." I forced myself to say. The doors opened, and I pushed myself out of the elevator. Clove was following closely behind, trying to get me to slow down. I turned and without hesitation, shoved her against the wall.

"Leave me alone! There is nothing going on. Peeta doesn't mean anything to me!" I shouted in her face. She was terrified, her smaller body shaking, almost completely pinned between me and the wall.

"Fuck you, Cato!" She screamed back, trying to breathe. Stunned by her reaction, I let go of her. "It doesn't fucking matter if you have feelings for him or not! You're only lying to yourself. Stop trying to pretend all the damn time."

She stormed off, leaving me for the first time today completely alone. Who am I becoming? I felt an urge to reach for my mask, but something told me that wouldn't fix anything. I've gotten a taste of guilt, I had hurt the only person who cared and not even the mask can hide that. The 'blood' was on my hands, and I had no one.

My mind was broken, but I'm determined to find myself. Even if I have to do it on my own.

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A/N: By the way, this is my favorite chapter. I spent all day writing and I got up to chapter 7. Going to space them out a bit because I got a few rough days ahead of me and I want to update on a consistent time frame. Sorry.

I'm trying to keep Cato consistent but work in Peeta. Trying to keep everyone consistent to the book (Minus Cato who who has a mind of his own and keeps dragging this story out...), but I'm struggling with Peeta. Maybe because I don't feel like he has 'his way with words' for me like he does in the books. Probably why I try to keep him out of conversations. I'm trying, don't hate on me.

Doing this more for myself, to prove I can do it, but I love to hear from you guys! Review if you feel comfortable doing so!


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the afternoon was spent mopping. I was even beginning to annoy myself. I had no idea what to do without Clove to counsel me. Like that was ever going to happen. I looked back on our fight, feeling the worst guilt I've ever felt. Why was guilt and regret such an easy emotion for me? But the others, they were the most difficult obsticals I've ever faced.

Mulling over my thoughts, I decided to pick one and face it. My mind drifted to Peeta. But I quickly shut that door. That was something that would have to wait. My feelings for Peeta were to complicated and repressed, going through it was difficult. Deciding my best option was to try to fix things with Clove. I've never apologized for anything in my life, never had the need to. But this was something that couldn't be ignored.

Mustering up my strength, I crossed the common area to Cloves door. I knocked twice, my heart seeming to stop at the noise. Nothing. Clove was ignoring him, not that I'd blame her. I tried again, this time putting more force into the knock.

There was still nothing, not even the sound of footsteps on the other side. "Clove." I continuted to knock, hoping my persistance would give me a chance to talk to her.

I almost gave up in defeat when I heard her, "What do you want?" Her voice was full of acid and I found myself a few steps away from the door.

I couldn't think of what to say. Apologizing wasn't something I knew how to do. "Can I speak with you?" I coped out and hoped I could say I was sorry during our conversation.

"I've got nothing to say to you, Cato." Her voice wasn't as angry this time, but there was still pain there. "Don't you have emotions to surpress or something?"

It stung, but what else could I expect, her voice sounded weaker. It was now or never.

"I'm sorry."

I practically shouted it. For a moment there was nothing but silence. "What did you say?"

"I uh… said I'm sorry." I repeated, hoping it sounded just as sincere. I heard her moving behind the door. A soft click filled the room and her door popped open enough for me to see her face. She had been crying.

"You damn well should be, you asshole!" Clove shouted before returning to the depths of her room. The door remained open and I let myself in to follow her.

"I'm not very good at these kind of things." I stuttered, "I'm not really good at anything."

She didn't reply. Nor did she look interested in what I had to say about myself at the moment. I figured she didn't want to talk about me, it was my turn to ask her.

"Why were you crying." I asked.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She shouted. It was a stupid question, but it was all I could think of. "Why do you think I'm crying? Do you think that I just spent all that time with you because I felt sorry for you? Dammit Cato. You're the closest thing I have to a friend."

Something came over me, a feeling that I knew I shouldn't be having at the moment. Why was I happy? The feeling was surprising, and a little unwelcomed. But no one ever called me their friend before.

"Typical." Clove gestured at me. "Always thinking, never saying. You aren't the only broken one Cato. I used to be a heartless killer just like you. Do you honestly think all of this is easy for me?"

Honestly, the thought never occurred to me. Clove always seemed so strong when it came to this. I knew she had a past. But then, everything was always about me. It always had been.

"I'm sorry." It was like I was stuck on repeat. "I forget that I'm not the only one here, or that other people are having their own problems." This wasn't like me at all. Have I really changed this much in 2 days?

"Well they do, Cato." Clove choked out. "They do." She sat on the edge of her bed, burying her face in her hands. I approached her, sitting close to her. I pulled her towards me, my arm protectively holding her. She sunk into me, resting her head on my shoulder.

We stayed quiet for what seemed like forever, no words needed to be said. Which was good, because everything I try to say just comes out wrong anyway. She pulled away from me and made eye contact.

She was about to say something but I cut her off, "Don't, I know. I feel the same way." She smiled, our unspoken words were mutual. They said everything we felt, that we were both sorry and needed each other. Clove needed him to be strong, because right now, she wasn't.

"I half expected you to leave me here." Clove whispered. "Leave me here and return to your old self."

"I can't say the thought didn't occur," she rested her head against my shoulder again, "but I didn't want to return to that. There's too much I've been missing out on. Granted it's overwhelming and I don't know how to express myself, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. I wanted you by my side."

She giggled, "If only to make sure you don't screw up." I smiled down at her, "Exactly."

Then she switched, the transition still amazes and terrifies me. She bounced off the bed and ran out into the common room.

I stood up and followed her out, she was loading up a plate with dinner from the table. It reminded me of how hungry I was as well. I grabbed a plate, letting myself be happy, enjoying some time with my first friend.

She sat down on the couch, stuffing her face. "I've got a secret."

"Yeah?" I asked, pretending that I wanted to know. This whole part of our relationship was still very foreign, and I find myself drifting during these talks.

"You know that Katniss girl?" She said, "Well, I heard that shes in love with someone."

My heart sank. I tried to play it off like I didn't care, but I was caught.

"Oh knock it off, not everything is about you, you emo bitch." I liked that with our conversations, I barely had to say anything. Clove could just read it off of me.

"Anyway, I heard she's in love with her cousin back home." She made a disgusted face at the thought. "Some girl named Gale. Jeez, those backwoods districts are weird."

I never understood gossip. I always heard the girls back home talking about other people. Why would you invest so much of your time in someone else's life? "I always knew there was something weird about her, but I still tried to be friends with her. Can you say stuck up?"

"Stuck up." I replied. She stared at me. Apparently it was a rhetorical question. Whatever.

"You really are out of the loop. You don't get dirty jokes or common phrases." Clove noted.

"Yeah well, there isn't much of a need to know those things when you spend all your time alone." I replied.

"Speaking of which." Cloves eyes narrowed. I knew I was about to be attacked by some inappropriate question. I just hoped she'd keep Peeta out of it. I wasn't ready for that.

"How long did you know you liked guys?" She said it so casually.

"What? How is that 'Speaking of which'?" I replied, "And I don't like guys."

"Oh come on. You've got to be kidding me." She almost choked. "I'm surprised no one is talking about it yet."

She acted like everything was completely obvious.

"Well, maybe people don't care as much as you do." I replied.

"Please, everyone cares."

I played with my salad for a moment, pushing the greens around with my fork. "How did you know?"

"What?" Clove answered, "That you have a crush on Peeta?"

"Yeah." I answered sheepishly, "Because honestly, I don't even know how I feel about him."

"Quit playing the 'emotions are new' bullshit." Clove answered bluntly. "You know how you feel, you just won't admitt it to yourself. And to answer your question, how I knew? I didn't until I saw you smiling at him, and then everything just kind of clicked. It's the way you stare at him, and the way you completely choke up when he's around. Not to mention that strange blissed out look you get whenever he touches you…"

My face felt warm, I don't think I've ever blushed before in my life. I hated the feeling. I hated this conversation. This wasn't right. Nothing about it was right.

She must have noticed it in my eyes. "Is this a problem because he's a guy?"

"No." I answered. I honestly didn't care. "It's because I don't know what I'm doing." That seemed to be my answer for everything lately and I was getting tired of hearing myself say it.

Clove didn't press further, but started talking about her own interests. I didn't pay much mind until she started asking me what I thought of the ones she thought were cute.

"What do you think of Marvel?" Clove asked, "I think he's real cute."

"I wouldn't know." I answered honestly. I had no interest in any of the group and was starting to feel that anger push up inside of me. I was getting better at represing it, probably because I wasn't trying to repress the rest of my mind.

"You're the worst gay best friend ever." Clove shouted.

"I'M NOT GAY!" Theres my anger. It subsided quickly, but left an impression that I wish I could take back.

"Alright." Clove basically whispered. "Don't freak the fuck out on me."

Dinner was mostly quiet. I realized that I liked when Clove spoke, at least for the most part. When she was silent, my head started doing laps and everything kept trying to push out all at once. When she was talking, I had a specific thing to either listen to or ignore, depending on the subject. It helped clear my head.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Clove broke the silence, noticing that I had a deep look of concentration.

"Nothing really." I answered.

"I bet I know," She couldn't take the hint. But I let her think what she wanted. It was probably better to let her get all this off her chest. I had a feeling she was punishing me because of my outburst this morning. After dinner, everything would go back to normal.

"You don't have to worry." She was smiling. This isn't good. "I'll scope it out, do some prying. I'll get you your Peeta Mellark without you having to lay a finger."

I just wanted to die inside. Maybe it wasn't too late to pull my mask back on. I shrank into the couch hoping the world would disappear, and that I was in some weird world. But of course, life is never easy.

"Better yet, I'll make sure you have to lay a few fingers. All over his body."

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A/N: Something about this one seems wrong... But I felt it was necessary.


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days flew by. There was still no word on when we would be able to go home. I spent my time with Clove teaching me more on how to present myself. She covered more than I could even imagine. Who knew talking to people was such an art. The confusion was still there, but it was easier to hide and I was getting more and more used to the emotion. I barely ever found myself dwelling on the past, begging for the mask's escape.

The days when Clove disappeared, most likely to do her dirty work on my behalf, which she was hellbent on accomplishing, was spent getting to know the other tributes. I had grown 'close' to a few, but none of them to the extent of Clove. I even ran into Peeta a few times, but played stupid and kept our conversations to a minimum. The last thing I needed was to make a fool of myself worse than I already had.

He stopped me one time, telling me how he and Clove were getting to know each other more and that he wished I would be there as well. The kid seemed to want to know everyone. I didn't know if it was just his personality or if he just had that way with words. Clove tells me he's just a smooth talker, but who really knows.

I avoided Thresh and his crew, knowing that he and Peeta had become close, just in case I accidently slip something. I mainly talked to the others, keeping conversation light, only trying to be polite before disappearing to my room to mull over that day's emotions.

I was getting much better, regret wasn't so dominating anymore, but then again I had nothing to feel guilty about lately. The only problem was that one emotion that never let up. The one that made the least sense to me: my feelings for Peeta Mellark. They kept me up at night, and Clove started to notice. She disappeared more than ever lately, probably trying to push Peeta into spilling something for my benefit.

It all left me very lonely, finding myself longing for the girl to return to me spouting off her latest news that never held any interest to me, but liking her company none the less.

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Nothing was really happening at the moment. Cassie, who turned out to be an even bigger bimbo than I thought, was chatting up at storm to Alex and Surge. I didn't care much, paying more attention to my orange. The damn things were stuck in my mind, and I craved them more than usual as of late. I blamed the sunrise. Something so simple, yet so beautiful for the first time.

"CATO!"

I was ripped from my thoughts of the orange. The crash of Clove busting into the dinning room caused a huge commotion. Cassie had shut up and everyone looked in her direction. I only stared at her. She found me, there wasn't anything to say. She was obviously the one with the news.

"Why are you just sitting there? Come on!" She shouted to me. As I stood I watched her eyes, I could tell something was up and it would probably be a long conversation. I grabbed the rest of my orange before walking across the dinning room to join her.

I watched her closely as I approached, feeling the weight of the orange in my hand gave me the confidence to continue. Until I saw Peeta Mellark walk in behind her.

Stopping my advance, not noticing I had squeezed the life out of my orange until I felt the juice running down my pant leg. Fan-fucking-tastic. That's all I needed, a huge wet stain on my pants infront of Peeta.

The look Clove gave me made me realize I had been standing there to long. I unfortunately dropped the remains of my orange and began to walk towards the two again, not really wanting to talk to Clove anymore. My only comfort was the uncomfortable look Peeta had on his face. Obviously he wasn't enjoying this anymore than I was. Somehow it made me feel a little better.

After what felt like forever to cross the room, I forced myself to words, "What's up Clove?"

"Hold on," she said. Seriously? You bust into a room and shout for me and then tell **me** to hold on? She turned to Peeta. "Would you mind giving us a moment?"

The question was directed at Peeta, who shrugged, "Of course not." Polite as ever. He looked around, trying to spot someone he could join. He sighed sending a shiver down my spine. God dammit, this kids' effect on me was getting a little over the top. Peeta walked away, joining Cassie and my old group. Something about him didn't seem right, and I no longer cared about Clove. All I wanted was to sit next to him and find out what was wrong. Dammit, the new part of me that cared was still foreign.

"Follow me." Clove stated harshly. She followed my gaze, finding Peeta at the end of it. "Now."

I didn't really have any say in the mater; Clove had grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the dinning room into the training center. She kept pulling me until I found my footing and could keep up with her. Something seemed urgent and she wanted the privacy.

She finally stopped, spinning towards me with that school girl smile planted all over her face. I was either going to be very bored or very intersted in what she had to say. She kept starring at me with that damn smile.

"What?" I finally asked.

"You aren't even going to believe me if I tell you." She exclaimed. I was scared now, gossip Clove was terrifying. I couldn't determine if it was more or less terrifying than perverted or defensive Clove…

"I was trying to pull information out of Peeta, probably a little harder than I initially meant to…" She started, she kept playing with her thumbs, but the topic of Peeta caught my interest. "But you can't blame me! No one knows how long we'll be here and you have been a wreck without me around so I kinda forced it."

"Clove, quit the babbling." There was a time for babbling, but it wasn't now. "What about Peeta?"

"Well, I don't know for sure." She looked nervous again. "Mainly because he wouldn't tell me everything, but I did get him to cave a little! At least before that lesbo Katniss walked in."

Katniss? Oh, that's right. The girl from District 12 that made no attempt to talk to anyone. Even I at least made an attempt to bond with the other tributes. It mainly failed, but I tried. Plus, Clove was convinced she was in love with her cousin Gale. Fucking Christ, why do I know so much about this. What have I become?

"Anyway, what I was able to fish out was that he's interested in someone."Clove shouted.

"Congratulations!"I mocked, "Isn't everyone interested in someone? I mean even me, the guy who finally learned emotion, is interested in someone."

"Blow me." She retorted. "I was prying, because that's what I do best, and I went through every single female tribute."

I only starred at her. "And?" I asked, "Like he couldn't like someone back home?"

"But he told me the person he wanted was a tribute!" Clove was way too excited. "And lets be honest, if he had no interest in me, then he is obviously into men."

I still wasn't really getting her point, aside that Peeta was into one of the male tributes. Clove was watching me with a dumbstruck face.

Oh. Well now I felt really stupid.

"There you go, big guy." Clove smiled as everything clicked into place. "Katniss busted out of her room being all emo and dyky before I could get anymore information. Peeta looked pretty embarassed by the whole conversation. I think he's still a little weirded out by it."

Wait, something didn't make sense. "What makes you think he isn't screwing with you?" I thought it was a valid question. The guy isn't exactly anti-social. Why, of all people, would he pick Clove to confide in?

"You kidding me?" Clove exclaimed, tilting forward on her toes. "I've been hanging out with him more lately than I have with you. I got you to crack like a walnut in only one day! What makes you think I couldn't crack him in three?"

Maybe because he actually has friends? I didn't say it, knowing it was only a dig on myself.

"From what I see, all sings point to you." I was still in denial, not really believing what she was telling me. She must have noticed because she started to explain. "Ever since the first time you met him, I'm sure you remember. The day you pretty much blew your load infront of everyone because he touched you; he still wanted to talk to you."

"He was just being polite." I said. The kid was nice to everyone.

"Please, he practically lit up when I asked to hang out with him." Her eyes were starting to scare me. It seemed like she was getting more out of this than I was. "Every now and then I'd get a 'Where's Cato?', 'Why didn't Cato join us?', 'How's Cato doing? I haven't seen him in a while'. Lets be honest, he wasn't in the friendship for me." She stopped.

"Actually, I feel a little used." Oh boy, the look in Cloves' eyes changed and she looked furious all of a sudden. As usual, it faded fast and her 'innocence' returned.

"Never mind that," Clove recovered. "Get your ass in there and talk to him!"

"But I don't know what to say." I answered.

"Improvise!" She was pushing us back to the dinning room, "I've taught you enough, now figure it out! I'll be close by if you need me."

We both walked back into the dinning room, I immediately froze when Peeta turned to look at me. All of a sudden I had stage fright. It was stupid. 'Cato, go slice up that dummy'. 'Cato, let him go, it's only a training!' I could have strangled a person to death without any fear of my own life, but now I was stuck at the gaze of a boy. Clove shoved me. Apparently I was losing my awareness as well; I use to be able to block attacks from behind, now I'm tripping all over the place.

I clumsily regained my composure and walked towards them, waving at Peeta. He waved back and that familiar heat began to build up inside me. He stood and started to walk towards me.

We were face to face, neither of us had said a word. I noticed his eyes drift and his nostrils flare. What? Who the hell does that?

"Do I smell oranges?" He broke the silence. I was speechless, only watching his reactions, the heat starting to ignite. That's right! I had forgot about the orange I crushed only minutes ago, my pants still sticky from the drying juice. I glanced down at my leg and instantly regreted it.

His gaze followed mine and he saw the wet streaks down my leg. If I couldn't move before I didn't know, because now I was stuck: frozen with fear. He laughed and all I wanted to do was run, hide my embarassment and pretend the whole thing never happened.

He smiled, the words escaping his mouth, "I love oranges."

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A/N: Derpy derp derp. That's all I got... Loving the love by the way. Didn't think so many people would like this story. I love you all, thank you for making this story that much more fun to write!


	7. Chapter 7

So I've been noticing an influx in Peetato fics. Hell yeah guys! Which is what caused this chapter to be posted a little earlier than expected. Excitement for everyone! Why did I just picture Oprah... Anyway, Chaptah 7!

* * *

His laugh unnerved me. He wasn't laughing at me, or least I didn't think so. I felt the beggings of a smile. It was like a small fire was inside me when he was nearby, and I could feel it start to unthaw my frozen-in-fear limbs.

"I like the color more than the fruit, but what can I say. You wear the fruit pretty well." What kind of comment was that? Was that supposed to be funny? Anger started to rise, replacing the small fire with an inferno of rage. My hands clutched together and my eyes squeezed shut.

Something hit me in the back of the head and I turned quickly to see what it was, ready to attack. Clove was sitting alone a few tables down starring daggers at me. I heard her whisper something, but I couldn't make it out. Shrugging she sounded it out with her lips, allowing me to read them. 'He is flirting with you.'

That's right. I remember one of Clove's lessons, she was trying to explain flirting to me but I didn't get it. It didn't make any sense, why not just say whats on your mind instead of trying to fluff everything?

"Something wrong?" Peeta asked. Dammit, I forgot Peeta was still here. I looked at the floor finding what Clove had thrown at me.

"No, nothing." I said, reaching down to grab the thrown pastry. I glared back at Clove who gave me the thumbs up. Who throws a bagel? "I uh, just really wanted a bagel. That's all."

I barely caught the snicker that came from Clove. Was I really that pathetic at flirting?

"For wanting a bagel, you sure didn't seem prepared for it." Peeta laughed, "Most people would catch it, not try to knock themselves out."

He kept looking at Clove. They were scheming something, I could tell. Dammit Clove, whose side were you on? My eyes met his again and the warmth returned. It gave me the courage to try this 'flirting' out that I utterly failed at with Clove's lessons.

"Yeah, well you know me." I somehow got that much out but I was at a loss with how to continue. He smiled, even though what I said was completely false. We knew nothing about eachother except the others' name. And possibly that he might like me.

"I suppose I do." He started to walk, gesturing that I should join him. "You don't seem to be the most coordinated person. Which is kind of funny, what ARE you really doing here Mr. Volunteer? For someone willingly here I expected someone a little more… Aware."

I tried not to take it too seriously, after all a small part of flirting was taking small digs at eachother. He was still smiling though, so I figured I was safe. We had walked out of the dinning room into the training center. I shot Clove a glare saying 'Please follow us.'

"Tell me more about the, oh so mysterious, Cato."

"There's not much to say." I decided. I wasn't ready for that conversation quite yet. The 'Oh hey, by the way I used to be a killing machine. I recovered only 5 days ago, wanna date?' didn't seem appropriate. I deflected the question with one of my own. "Why don't you tell me more about yourself?"

He looked surprised and turned a little red. Did I say something wrong? I averted my gaze, feeling dumb when I noticed Clove hiding behind a rack full of swords. She looked like she was going to explode with excitement and waved her hands feircly at me and pointed at Peeta. She mouthed 'Pay attention you dumb fuck.' at me. I shot a glare at her before taking her advice and turning back to Peeta.

"Not much to say about me." He started looking hurt. There was something in his eyes that didn't give me the warmth I was slowly getting used to, and craved like a drug. I didn't want to continue it anymore, wanting the boy to return to himself. The Peeta I was getting to know.

"I grew up in District 12. My family owns a bakery, but we still lived much like everyone else in 12. We didn't know when our next meal would come, only getting to eat the old bread that no one bought that day." He paused. I never heard of someone struggling to find their next meal. It was wrong; I never had to worry about food and the concept seemed ridiculous. There was a new emotion that formed a longing to comfort the boy, tell him everything was going to be okay. It caught me by surprise. I had time to deal with the love that was building, but the empathy was something that somehow seemed harder to grasp. I wanted him to stop talking.

"My dad was always a nice guy, he tried to raise me up right. The rest of my family didn't even notice me. Well, my mom did. But she only noticed what I did wrong and beat me for it. I never wanted to go to school, but it was my only haven. I had a few friends, but none of them were ever that close to me."

There was silence after he finished. I wasn't prepared for this. I never learned how to deal with this from Clove and I wasn't sure what to say. So I did what I do best, and I kept my mouth shut.

Apparently, it wasn't the reaction Peeta wanted. He was watching me, waiting for me to say something. What do you want me to say? I could hear Clove talking in my mind, 'Just say anything, the silence is worse.'

"Sounds rough." I blurted out. For fucks sake. Thanks Clove, silence would have been better than that. I tried to catch his eyes, speaking better with my own than with my tongue, but his head was hung low. I decided to do the next best thing that wasn't speaking. I draped my arm around him and pulled him close. The heat that exploded through me as I held him was something on a whole different level.

It must have been the right thing to do, because he instantly looked up at me. The Peeta I wanted to know was back, his eyes bringing that familiar warm sensation. He had a few of his blonde strands hanging out of place and it took all my willpower not to brush them back in place. Instead smiling down at him, I broke the contact: hoping the heat would subside a little before I exploded and did something completely stupid. Something was starting to happen, and I didn't want to ruin it all by being an idiot.

"I don't get you." Breaking the silence. Peeta was watching me. "One minute you do everything right, and the next you're cold and distant."

There wasn't the subtle flirtatious hint to the statement, and I felt myself growing angry at it. Why did I have to take everything so personally? I forced the anger to disipate, trying to focus on something else, but it was only dulling it.

"I'm sorry," Peeta answered, "That was uncalled for." My anger was gone, and the guilt kicked in again. Guilt for getting upset over a simple statement. Especially one from Peeta.

"You got to hear about me." Peeta said, "Your turn."

I had a different topic in mind, "Why me?" I bluntly asked.

"What do you mean?" Peeta asked, looking confused.

"Why, of all people, do you want to get to know me?" It never really crossed my mind until just a moment ago. But what made me so damn special? I've got nothing to give, and Clove is more fun to talk to.

"I don't know." Peeta answered, "I guess you're the only one that I haven't gotten to know. You seem like this huge mystery."

"And that's all?" I was loosing my patience and all I wanted to do was scream at the boy. "Quit messing with me and give me a straight answer!"

Both of our attentions shot to the large crash, smacking of wood hitting the floor, metal on metal, and the paniced scream of Clove. I guessed she got a little too interested and leaned a little too far over the rack.

"Oh, don't mind me." She nervously said, "Clumsy old me." She started to pick up a few of the weapons she knocked over but decided it best to leave them. "I'll be going now." She shot me a 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' glare before she awkwardly walked off.

I turned back to Peeta, who looked startled by the commotion. I starred at him, letting him know I was serious, and that I wasn't backing down.

"Maybe it's because I found the mystery intriguing." Peeta mumbled. He seemed sincere, but his answer was lacking for 'the boy with the perfect words.' he must have found out that I called his bluff. "And maybe I thought you were kinda hot."

The he was shouting. "Are you happy now?"

He turned to walk away, but I grabbed him by the wrist and spun him back to face me. "There, now was that so hard?"

I surprised myself with how I handled the situation. I acked on impulse instead of that stupid flirting thing Clove told me was so important. I knew it was useless.

Peeta was still trying to free himself from my grasp but I was steadfast. But his shout surprised me and I lost my hold of him. "Then answer me! Why me?" He shouted.

I didn't have an answer for it. I didn't know why it was him. All I knew is that it **was** him. And he was walking away from me and I had nothing to say. How did it all backfire on me so fast? I thought I was getting the hang of it all, but I guess the only thing I'll ever be good at is being alone.

* * *

A/N: Don't hate me...


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you to everyone who makes opening my e-mail every morning feel like Christmas.

* * *

Somehow I had made it back to my floor. I don't remember the trip at all, my thoughts still on Peeta and how I royally fucked up everything. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. The angrier I was, more shit was thrown.

I was surrounded in shattered glass and fine porcelain. All I wanted to do was cry, something I had never done before in my life. Why am I such a fuck up? Why does everything that's good always have to end before it even starts?

Hearing the elevator doors open caught my attention. Clove. And she looked pissed.

"What the fuck was that?" She shouted."Are you completely insane!"

I had nothing to say to her. I had a million questions to ask her, but now I just wanted to be alone. I needed to think, and as much as I neede Clove right now, the need to be alone was more overpowering.

"What happened in here?" She asked, cautiously approaching me. "I knew something was wrong when I didn't see Peeta with you."

She paused eyeing me up. I must have looked like a wreck. I felt wet, noting that at some point, I really did start crying.

"Oh God, I'm gonna kill him." Despite what she said, she melted right before my eyes, the strong Clove I knew was just as big of a mess as I was now. "What happened?"

She crossed the room, avoiding the broken dishware that covered the floor. Upon reaching me, she pulled me close to her. She knew I didn't want to talk right now. In fact I pretty much never wanted to talk. I felt myself collapse into her cold embrace, reminding me more of how much I wanted the warmth from Peeta. I full out cryed into her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me.

It must have been a sight, because Clove was significantly smaller than I was. The thought only lasted for a second before fading, my mind going back to Peeta.

"Shh." Whispered in my ear. "It'll be okay."

What will be okay? There's no point in denying it. Peeta will never speak to me again. Part of me was happy about it, knowing that I would never have to feel this much pain again. No, Clove was right, this kind of pain was worth it. At least I got this far, right?

"Tell me, whenever you are ready." Her arms tightened around me defensively and I felt safe.

"What have I done, Clove?" my voice was slightly muffled by her shoulder.

"I don't know, Cato." Clove was trying her best, but not even she knew what to say. I wanted nothing more than for the day to start over, get a second chance to say all the right things.

I let myself unravel in Clove's embrace for almost an hour before I had the courage to finally explain what happened.

"Cato, you idiot!" She was no longer being sensitive to my dillema. "Why would you be so blunt? You're lucky he even stuck around long enough to show any sort of interest."

"I know, I fucked up! Alright? Now what do I do?"

"I honestly have no idea…" Clove said, "I've never actually cornered someone like that."

I watched her, wanting to shake her for information. "Well you know the guy better than I do, is there any chance he would forgive me?"

"I don't know, he always seemed interested in you, bringing you up every now and then, but there was never anything that really stood out aside from possible interest." Clove explained. It wasn't what I meant. I wanted to know how forgiving the guy was.

"That's not what I meant." My thoughts must have escaped.

"I know what you meant." Clove said, she looked like she was trying to concentrate. "He always seemed to be forgiving, but from what I knew, he never really put himself out there like you said he did. I mean he told me he did once…"

That's it! I need to know how he reacted to it. I needed to know if he would ever forgive me. If would get past everything. I could never live with myself if I left things the way they were.

"Tell me."

"You aren't going to like it." Clove stared. I glared back, telling her to spill. "You asked for it. When he was younger, he came across this girl who was dying of hunger. He basically purposfully burnt some of the bread so he would have to throw it away. His mom had caught him and beat the shit out of him. When he was going to throw it away, he threw the bread to the girl. The girl was Katniss."

"Where are you going with this?" I asked her.

"Just wait. He had put himself out there to save her life. She never thanked him, or spoke to him again until the Games started. It hurt him. He had saved her life and afterwards, she never even gave him a second look."

I was silent, something about the whole story didn't fit.

"Don't you get it? Sometimes a simple 'thank you' or an 'I'm sorry' can mean the world to someone." She said, "He never forgot it, wishing she would at least notice that he had existed."

A simple 'I'm sorry'. It was all so relevant. I started walking through the maze of debris. "I don't know why you thought I wouldn't like this story. A simple apology might be all I need."

"It's not that easy, Cato." Clove shouted, but I wasn't listening. I made it to the elevator, watching Clove disappear as the doors shut. I knew what I had to do. Of course it had to be the thing I was the worst at. I was a terrible apologizer. But then again, I never needed to, and this time I had to, no _wanted_ to.

* * *

It was getting late, but I stopped by the dinning hall in case Peeta might have stopped for a late supper. Unfortuantely, the room was deserted. My mind started racing; adrenaline was clouding my thoughts and the longer I had to wait the more courage I lost.

Maybe his room? Not very many places to be in the tower. It was pretty much the training center, dinning room, and the tribute's floors.

I could hear something muffled as I left the dinning room. I didn't know what it was, but I followed the noise to find a punching bag swinging madly. Further investigation told me that someone was there. But not just someone, the blonde boy I was searching for. Well that was pretty lucky of me.

He must have been to focused because he didn't hear me approaching. Or he just didn't want to acknowledge me. "Hey." I shouted to him.

He stiffined at my voice, punching the bag a few more times before looking over his shoulder at me. Hurt… No, anger was written all over his face. "Come to humiliate me some more?"

"No. I wanted to, uhm." His punching continued and was starting to irritate me. I was trying to bear my soul and all he wanted to do was beat the shit out of something. It was a little unnerving, the Peeta I knew, or knew through Clove's association, wasn't this violent.

"Would you stop that!" I shouted at him. He glared at me, but did as I asked, calming the rattling chains on the bag and gently leaning against it, watching me with hate.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

He gestured around us, "What do you think we're doing now?"

"Fair enough," I paused. "I'm sorry…"

He laughed. It made me shrink away from him. What was so damn funny?

"You're gonna have to do better than that." He turned back to the punching bag, "If you don't mind, I'd like to continue here."

"I do mind!" I shouted, "I'm sorry I'm such an ass. I'm sorry I suck at talking to people."

He leaned his head against the punching bag like he was deep in thought. "But I'm not completely sorry I asked, at least it gave me the answer I was hoping for." The last part came out more as a mumble than an actual statement. He must have heard it, because he turned back to me.

"Answer my question." He stated. This time he wasn't running, and it was his glare that told me he wasn't backing down.

He meant 'Why me?' and I still didn't know how to respond to it, but I wasn't going to stay silent this time.

"Because whenever you're around, my whole world starts spinning. You're touch is like fire. You're the only person that can make me feel what I've ignored my whole life."

He was steadfast, not moving at all, just watching me. Slight confusion clouded his face at my last statement. "And because I think you're hot, too."

I waited only a moment before saying, "Happy?"

He softened slightly, no longer exuding an aura of hatred, but holding the start of a smirk. "You're still an ass, you know."

"I know." I answered. He melted almost back to the Peeta I knew, but held a part of himself back. "Do you think maybe we could talk someplace a little more priate?"

I wanted to tell him everything. I was ready to tell him about my past, and I wanted him to understand why I'm such an ass with words. I also didn't want to be out in a public place during it. You never know whose ears were listening.

He nodded and we started to walk back to the elevator. We were almost there when he slipped his hand into mine. The warm heat was there as our fingers linked. I smiled down at him.

The elevator doors opened to the chaos of my common area.

"What happened in here?" Peeta asked, noticing all the broken glass.

"Heh, that's kind of, uh.. A long story." I was a little embarassed about the mess, and admitting to him that all of it was because of him.

"Let's go to my room." I lead the path through the maze of shattered objects, Peeta walking close behind me. "This room is a little to dangerous."

Once we were in my room, I shut the door behind us and looked him in the eyes. "Theres something you need to know."

I told him everything.

* * *

A/N: This chapter just did not want to happen. I struggled to write pretty much the whole thing. In light of that, I'm sorry if this one seems, a little off...


	9. Chapter 9

**Even though it appears many of you enjoyed my last chapter, I still feel like it was bad... It might just be me being overly critical on myself, but whatever. It was writers block and I'm much to excited for what is to come, so I forced myself through it.**

**Now please enjoy this extra long chapter as an apology. :)**

* * *

The look in his eyes when I finished was a mixture of pain and longing. Silence filled the room, my time to talk was done and I waited for him to respond. I felt like he was going to run away from me, and the thought of pre-empting it was tempting. Leave before he had the chance to do so himself. The feeling was overwhelming and his silence made it unbearable.

I lingered in his gaze for only a moment before turning away and walking off. I told him my deepest secret, something I became ashamed of in the last few days and was rewarded with silence. I felt a little hypocritical, but I was being selfish.

"Wait."

I turned back only to be met by his lips. How was he right behind me all of a sudden? Fuck it, who cares how he got here!

His kiss was slow, but the heat behind it was intense. I lost myself in him, feeling that fire inside me ignite from his touch.

It ended too quickly as he pulled away from me. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm such a jackass."

The look of pain and confusion was clouded all over him. I understood what he meant. The story of his life had the same effect on me. "Don't" was all I could say.

"But," he began but I cut him off as our lips locked again with more passion.

I felt him melt into my touch, knowing that he had understood the meaning behind my simple explanation.

Everything was overwhelming, my head spinning. Peeta's lips anchoring me, also being the cause of my worlds uproot. His hands cupped my cheeks, deepining our intimacy. My arms wrapped around his waist, drawing him closer. Suddenly his hands were in my hair, pulling a moan from my lips only to be replaced by his seeking tongue.

The whole room was tipping, making me lose my balance. Clinging to him to steady myself, my tongue battled his. The heat he radiated into me was settling in my core.

We must have been moving because the back of my legs caught the bed, our kiss breaking as I fell onto the matress. My eyes shot open, barely noticing that I had closed them to begin with. He looked into my eyes, those god damn blue eyes drew you in. It became painfully obvious, my reaction to him straining against my pants.

He was still standing infront of me, for once I had to look up to meet his gaze. His shirt was pulled up over his head, revealing what I could only before imagine. He wasn't as built as I was, but had the masculine outline of muscle gained from his physical labor. I reached out running my hands up his abs to meet his more defined chest.

The moan that escaped him from my touch was one of the most beautiful things I ever heard. I reached around him and pulled him down ontop of me.

Tongues battled again, only to be broken when my shirt was lifted over my head. He looked down at me, feeling me the same way I had done to him. He stopped at the hem of my jeans, noticing the bulge. Our eyes met and he grinned devilishly before unbuttoning my jeans and pulling the zipper down. The pressure decreased, but it was still painful. He assaulted my mouth once again, this time pushing me to the side, giving me the dominance for the first time. I rolled on top of him, his hands grabbing at my ass before sliding into my jeans. My moan from the contact only enforced him as he pushed my jeans and boxers both off as our lips danced.

I broke our kiss only to find my lips at his neck, rewarded by the sexiest noise I have ever heard. My erection painfully rubbed against his denim, reminding me I had more important matters to attend. I kissed down his body, his hands once again finding my hair, only turning me on more. I licked his abs, dipping my tongue into his navel as my hands worked on the button to his jeans. I stopped, sitting up to pull his jeans off, taking every part of him in as more of him was revealed.

"Cato." Peeta moaned as he was released from his denim prison. I never broke eye contact with him, afraid I'd lose the fire burning inside me if I looked anywhere else than his eyes. His jeans were finally thrown to the ground and I kissed him again, feeling full skin on skin for the first time.

He grinded into me, his cock rubbing against my own. "Uuhg, Peeta." Breaking the kiss with my moan.

"Cato, please." Peeta whimpered, grinding into me again, forcing a groan from us both.

My eyes opened, again not knowing I had closed them. I looked into his, embarassed to admitt I had no idea what to do next. I didn't care what it was, as long as it was with Peeta.

"I don't know what I'm doing." I admitted, hoping it wouldn't ruin the moment. All I got was a smile as he rolled me over, him ontop of me.

"Then enjoy the ride." He smirked as he glided down my body. I wanted to watch him, but my eyes closed again, feeling his tongue draw patterns down my torso.

"Fuck, Peeta!" Wet heat surrounded me. I've never felt anything like this before in my life. Peeta's tongue knew exactly what to do. His tongue slid around my head, teasing me before he fully engulfed me again, only to slowly drag his tongue across the bottom of my cock.

I was on fire, every part of me screaming, threatening to be scorched to nothing in a matter of moments. I could feel it building, the fire about to consume everything but then it was subsiding, Peeta releasing me. "Not quite yet, Cato."

I whimpred, knowing I was at Peeta's mercy. Nothing was happening, my eyes still being closed. Opening them I saw Peeta licking his fingers. He looked so innocent, but that devilish grin appeared again, slowly drawing his fingers from his mouth.

He guided his fingers to my entrance. I trusted him completely and his fingers slowlying circling me brought the fire back, only embers, but catching fire.

The fire seemed to be doused as his finger entered and I cried out.

"Shh, Cato." Peeta reassured, "It'll be okay, relax and there won't be as much pain."

He started to slide his finger back out, "It will only hurt for a little bit." He promised. It took a bit of getting used to, the pain slightly subsiding and the fire slowly starting again.

"Fuck!" I shouted, the fire in me all of a sudden exploding into an inferno, but subsided quickly, the fire left behind burning more brightly than when it started. "What the fuck was that?" I asked opening my eyes to look at him.

He only smiled down at me. Fucking Christ! He hit again. I was losing myself, losing to the fire within. "Peeta, oh fuck… Peeta!"

His fingers left me. I didn't even notice that he had added two more, only exploding with ecstasy at every touch.

"This is probably gonna hurt." Peeta said, spitting into his hand and slicking himself. He positioned himself and pushed in. I felt like I was being torn apart. "Look at me."

I opened my eyes, finding blue staring back at me. He pushed further in, making me cringe in pain, but his eyes stayed locked on mine. He let out a moan as he fully burried himself. His face flushed with pleasure. He waited as I adjusted to him. I silently nodded to him, knowing that I would never fully adjust unless he moved and hit that spot inside.

It only took a few thrusts, Peeta's cock striking that sweet spot inside, igniting the fire inside once again. "Peeta!" I shouted. Peeta increased his pace, hitting my spot more. I felt explosion after explosion of the fire inside, each more intense than the next.

I had no idea what I was shouting, only that I couldn't keep my mouth shut as the fire built. I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling the fire intensify even more. Peeta grabbed me stroking a few times before my hands found his neck. I pulled him into a kiss as he continued to slam into me. My hands sliding through his surprisingly soft hair.

"Fuck!" I shouted, breakin our kiss as his thrusts became more accurate. "God Peeta… Peeta. PEETA!" I shouted, my erection throbbing between us as I felt myself explode, my fire now a white light.

I slowly came down, never having felt such ecstacy when Peeta's thrusts became eratic and he groaned, "Cato!" His lips met mine as his cock became impossibly hard inside me. His muffled groans escaped my mouth as I kissed him, feeling him throb inside me as he released.

He broke away from me, collapsing completely. His heavy breath against my shoulder as we both recovered from our high. He gently pulled out of me, my body fully relaxing as he rested his head against my chest.

* * *

Waking up was surreal, thinking the whole thing was a dream, but the heavy weight of Peeta laying on my chest told me it was all real. I wanted to stay this way for as long as possible, knowing our time was limited. Soon we would all be going our separate ways.

That was everyone's thought. I heard a few of the other tributes say the same. They had kept us here to long: there was no manditory training, no grand entrances.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Peeta asked.

"You're awake?"

"Yeah, have been for the past hour." He answered, "Didn't want to wake you, and I liked hearing your heart beat. Reminded me you are actually here and it wasn't all an illusion."

Smiling was all I could do. How could I have been the luckiest guy alive?

"Still mad at me?" I asked him.

"A little." I didn't need to see his face to know he was messing with me.

"Cato?" He moved his head from my chest, proping himself up on his elbows. We made eye contact, waiting for him to continue. Those blue eyes held so much depth, I could get lost in them for hours. "Do you think maybe this was a mistake?"

What! The anger was instant. How could he use me like this? He must have seen the anger flash through my eyes. "No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was, do you think maybe we moved a little to fast? I don't want this to change anything because I really do like you. But it all happened so fast, and we still have so much to work out."

"You were the one that jumped me, you know." I replied. I was still a little angry, but I could see where he was coming from. One minute we liked eachother, the next we were fighting. Then we ended up in bed faster than I could even think.

"I know." He paused before continuing, frowning slightly. "It's just that your story touched me, and I understood a bit more about why you are who you are. I was upset at first, but knowing how much you struggled to be where you are overcame me."

He was blushing. "Then, do you regret what happened?" I asked. Regret was that emotion I knew best.

"Of course not."

"Then what more is there to say?" I asked. He broke our eye contact, resting his head on my chest again.

"Just that I want to know you more, and not just be a sex toy." He actually sounded afraid, like it was something I would actually do. I pulled him closer into me, letting my hand rub circles against his back, whispering, "I would never do that to you."

There was silence and I spent it wondering how it was possible that I didn't screw anything up. Peeta's way with words must have rubbed off on me. Or I was becoming as comfortable with him as I was with Clove, who I seemed to have no trouble talking to anymore. Or I was just improving.

That's when the door bursted open, Clove running into the room.

"They're making an announcement! Something is happening!" She shouted, but then paused when she saw that I wasn't alone. Or clothed.

"I'm so sorry!" She blushed, covering her eyes. Peeta jumped at the intrusion and pulled the covers over himself, ultimately taking the rest of the sheets from me leaving me exposed.

"Clove!" I shouted, "Get the fuck out!"

"Right! Sorry!" Her eyes opened and saw me before I could cover myself. "Oh my god, penis…"

"Out!" I shouted again before trying to find anything to cover myself with. She turned and left the room, shutting the door on her way out.

Peeta was beet red from the encounter with Clove. Noticing that I had nothing to cover myself with, he reluctantly gave me part of the sheet back. "Sorry, I paniced."

I laughed, pulling him back into me.

This time there was a knock. "Uhm… Sorry guys." Embarassment thick in her speech. "But they want us all to gather in the dinning room. Something is happening and they are finally going to tell us something. So hurry up and get dressed." There was a pause. "Please get dressed…"

Her embarassment only made me laugh harder. Peeta was watching me cloesly, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Who are you? The Cato I know doesn't laugh this much."

Stopping my laughter, I looked down at him. I had no time to speak before he kissed me, deep and passionate.

Breaking our kiss, he pulled away before getting out of bed. "Well, it sounds like everyone is being summoned. I should probably be going back to my floor to get ready."

Why did he look so sad? "Wait." I said. He turned to look at me as he was gathering his clothes, his jeans upside down, something small and black falling out. "What's wrong?"

"Well, if they have an announcement." He stopped, pain covering his features. He grudgingly started dressing himself as he continued "I guess its goodbye for us."

My mind went blank, I didn't even get to say goodbye to him before he was gone, lost in my own horror. God dammit, it's like the Capitol planned this. Just when I was my happiest, they had to throw it back in my face.

The knocking was back at my door, pulling me from my thoughts. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"Are you decent?" Clove asked, I confirmed my status, at least being covered by the sheet. She walked in, notcing that I wasn't dressed, but at least covered. She sat at the edge of my bed, watching me cloesly. She must have made the same realization as Peeta, that this was most likely goodbye for most of us. She had grown close to the others as well; it must have been just as tough for her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. She said no more, only crawling onto the bed and giving me a hug, resting her head against my chest, the same place Peeta once was. I held her, not knowing what else to do.

Time passed, how much I don't know. Clove broke away from me, "Well, time to get ready!" Her switch was weak, I could tell she was trying to force her smile back. I simply nodded and waited for her to leave before dressing. The sight of something shiny caught my eyes. I went to pick it up, noticing it was a small marble, black as coal. It must have been what fell out of Peeta's pocket. It's coal black color reminded me of District 12, and Peeta. I shoved it in my pocket thinking 'and it always will.'

* * *

We were the last to arrive, no surprise there. It took me far to long to accept what was happening. Dammit, I didn't accept it, only forced to live through it. It didn't look like we were forced to sit in order, noticing that everyone was scattered into groups with their friends. I found Peeta, sitting with Katniss and decided to join them. Clove followed me to their table.

Katniss looked excited, she had been waiting for this moment since it all began. Well, since all the 'nothing' began. Peeta wouldn't even look at me. I realized it was for the best, it would only make our departure that much more difficult. I felt the black orb in my pocket. Being selfish, I didn't want to give it back. I wanted something from him to remember him by.

The Games Master was waiting patiently at the front of the hall. Noticing Clove and myself take our seats he began.

"Good evening, tributes. As you undoubtably have concluded, the games have been cancelled." There was a gasp that filled the room, everyone excited by the news. He waved his hands to quell the noise and everyone fell silent. "Our explanation is only that the arena is malfunctioning. Some glitch in the system has caused it to be unpredictable, spontaneous. We couldn't have it. We spent a fortune trying to fix it to no avail. Thus it is my great pleasure to tell you all that you will be returning home."

Many of us looked terrified; a few others were hugging as if their life depended on the other. I felt Clove's cold hand grasp mine, allowing the pain we felt to be shared. The only happy response was from Katniss, who grinned at the news. I tried to catch Peeta's eyes, not wanting our last words to be 'I guess this is goodbye'. I wanted to pull him close, tell him nothing can separate us now that we've finally found each other. He kept looking at the empty table infront of him, oblivious to the commotion around us. Avoxes started to enter the room, carrying trays full of goblets that were passed out to us. Relasing Clove's hand, I grabbed one of my own.

"As a thank you for your patience with the Capitol, I would like to raise a toast. On behalf of the president, I apologize for your inconvinience. To you, the brave tributes of Panem."

Everyone clinked their goblets and drank. The fluid was sweet. Very sweet. Horror dawned on Peeta's face as he dropped his. "Sleeping weed!" He shouted.

What? What is sleepin—

Then there was nothing.

* * *

This time when I awoke, I really was in some sort of cell. The room was small and completely white, a large cylindar tube was in the middle of a far wall, a screen next to it. I was alone.

"PEETA!" I shouted, realizing what was happening. This couldn't be happening! "CLOVE!"

The screen lit up, and the anthem started to play. It momentarily dazed me, but I turned to watch with complete hatred as President Snow appeared.

"Congratulations, tributes. And welcome to the 74th annual Hunger Games. I'm sure you're all just _dying _to figure out what is happening. Rest assured you will find that this years Hunger Games has come with a new twist. The Game Master thought it would be more interesting if you were allowed to mingle. Instead of the usual parade and festivities; they have been cancled, letting you all get to know each other under false pretences. I'm sure you've all gotten to know each other fairly well. Nothing brings more pleasure than watching people that care for each other slaughter one another. I hoped you studied each other thouroughly and found their weaknesses. Hopefully you know your own as well as everyone elses'. May this year be a battle of knowing your oppenent. Good luck to you all. However, remember, there can be only **ONE** victor. And…

…_May the odds be ever in your favor_."

* * *

**A/N: Aww damn! Cato and his shenanigans. And I suck at writing smut, so don't hate.**

**Anyway, I'm supposed to graduate in a month, and I am SEVERELY behind in my school work... I wanted to get to this point to take a short break, but Cato, and his bloody writing himself, turned it into a much longer story than I anticipated. I have chapter 10 in the makings, but I don't know how far I will get. Don't worry, I will return because I am obsessed with writing this, which is kind of a problem since within the last 5 days I have written 9 chapters.**

**Blah, I'm babbling. Expect something within the next couple of days. And a completely different arena with a whole new story.**

**Love you all.**


	10. Chapter 10

I'm being bad and ignoring my school work again... But I got some of the nicest private messages and couldn't leave you all hanging. So I finished this up and now it's back to school work.

* * *

Who knows how long I stared at the screen after it went blank. So many things ran through my head. Could this be real? How are Peeta and Clove handleing this? My thoughts then took a darker turn. Could I ever kill Peeta? No, I couldn't. What about Clove? Could I honestly even try to kill either of them? What about sponsors? How would the Capitol citizens bet on this? There was nothing to base our skills. Would anyone even pay to save one of us?

The door opened, and the previously orange haired woman who reaped me and Clove walked in, only now her hair was blindingly white, blending with the room.

"Hello, Cato." She spoke, walking towards me. "You must have a ton of questions, so I'll just cut to the chase."

"The Capitol has been watching the tributes since the beginning. Everything you've done in the tower was monitored. This is what everyone is basing the skills off of. Because this year's games are different, the method of sponsoring changed accordingly."

They've been watching me the whole time? The whole WORLD knows my most intimate moments and watched as I struggled? Then it hit me, how could I have not seen this coming?

"Both me and your mentor were removed. Because we were allowed to leave the tower whenever we wanted, the Capitol felt it necessary in order to keep up the false sense of security that began to blossom between all of you."

I was to busy with myself that I never noticed the two's disappearance. I only stared at her, hating her even more than I thought possible to hate someone. Knowing she knew the twist all a long and said nothing as we all danced around like fools.

"I really am sorry, Cato." She started, "I watched you fall in love with Peeta. At least you have that going for you, the Capitol seems to love it."

Who said anything about love? I just accepted that I liked him, nothing more.

She sighed, watching the worry on my face. "He's okay, you don't have to worry."

Speaking for the first time, "Are you kidding me? Worry? You are throwing me into an arena where everyone will wait to see which one of us will kill the other first! Will I kill Peeta, or will he kill me? All I can fucking do is worry!"

She looked defeated, and decided to drop the subject. "There isn't much time left, I was sent here to fill you in and help you ready yourself." She directed me towards a white cabinet I didn't notice earlier. It contained a heavy jacket and pants, boots, gloves, and a face mask: all a light grey in color.

"What is this?"

"They say the arena is going to be a cold one this year. The capitol wanted to even the odds a bit more since no one was forced to use the training center. Many of the poorer districts have hard winters, giving them the edge in a colder climate to counter the other districts more prepared tributes. They don't want any of you dying off right away, so they provided everyone with these."

Pulling the heavy gear on, I felt constricted. It was harder to move with all the bundle. Hand to hand combat would be even more difficult, not to mention how hard it would be to keep hold of a sword with these gloves.

"Do you have a token that you would like to take?" She broke my thought.

I turned, not thinking of anything at first. Then the black marble came to mind, 'it always will remind me of you.'

"Yes." I reached into the pants I had discarded in exchange for the ones I currently wore and pulled out the marble. "This."

"Interesting…" the woman said, eyeing it. I handed it to her so she could expect it more carefully, making sure there wasn't anything about it that could give me an edge in the arena. It must have passed the test because she handed it back to me with a smile. Possibly, she suspected the meaning behind it.

The anthem started playing, signalling it was time for me to enter the tube that would carry me to the nightmare awaiting. I walked over, still hoping this was all a bad dream.

"Cato," she whispered as I stepped onto the platform. "Keep yourself alive. Stay warm, the cold will be your greatest challenge."

The tube started its ascent, and I watched her disappear from view. What was I going to do when the timer went off? Would I run into the bloodbath? Or would I try to find Clove and Peeta? There was to much to worry about it, and the arena's mystery was something I couldn't predict.

* * *

The tube opened up to a blinding white land. My eyes slowly adjusted to the drastic increase of light caused by the snow. It wasn't as cold as I expected it to be, but then again it was also midday, or at least that's what the arena's sun, perched in the middle of the sky, said it was.

The cornucopia was infront of me, it appeared to be at the peek of a small hill. We tributes were scattered equidistant from it in a circle. I looked behind me, only to find that this wasn't a hill, it was a mountain. There were cliffs and steep ridges. At a few points it seemed to level off, with a thick forest that appeared to surround the zenith we stood on. But who's to know it was a forest? Everything was covered in snow; it could just be jagged rocks.

I looked up at the timer, telling me I had 30 seconds left to prepare myself. Go for the cornucopia? Run to the safety of the forest? The old Cato would have laughed at the second thought, but the New Cato thought it might just save his life. Wait, what about Clove and Peeta? Should I find them?

20 seconds on the timer, I searched the other tributes, noticing that the light grey clothing helped us blend in against the snow, looking like a rock or a shadow. It was hard to make out who was who with the masks covering our faces. The best I could do was find out their district since we all had our district number on our shoulders. I noticed, District 3, that could be Surge, but I didn't really know the female tribute. District 6: Did I even bother to get to know anyone in 6? District 11: Judging from the size, it was Tresh. Avoid him if possible.

I turned in the other direction, the circle made it impossible to see everyone and I ran out of options on my right. Left of me was District 7: Dammit, I don't know any of them either… District 10, or was that a 12? I couldn't tell, the number was turned at a strange angle and I couldn't make it out. I moved to the next only having a few seconds left. District 2. Clove! At least I knew where she was.

The gong sounded. But what about Peeta?

Everyone was sluggish jumping off their platforms, the snow making it difficult to run. I noticed Thresh running towards the cornicopia, his strength overpowering his disadvantage to the frozen landscape. I pushed myself to move faster, hoping I could at least grab a weapon, or a pack, or anything before Tresh could attack me.

I pushed through the snow, looking to my left and catching Clove who nimbly ran, her lighter frame making it easier for her to run. She was closer than I was. I tried catching her attention, but she kept running.

The track was uphill, which made the snow that much more difficult to overcome. I was closer than many of the other tributes, noticing that district 3 and 6 had run off in the opposite direction towards the 'forest'.

I saw that Clove made it to the cornucopia, grabbing a pack and some knives. Thresh was close, but she wasn't in any danger that I could see, until I saw her hit the ground, someone ontop of her.

"Clove!" I shouted. I was helpless, forcing myself to move faster. I only hoped that Clove would be able to fend her attacker off. Afterall, she was just as much of a killing machine as I was.

Tresh was the third person on the scene that I could see, he grabbed a few packs watching Clove struggle with whoever was trying to kill her. He watched for a moment and began to run off in the same direction as District 3. He probably thought it was Surge, a good friend of his, and ran off to join him.

I was only a few feet away from Clove when I noticed her attackers District. It was 9, and from the sounds of it, female. Cassie. This might be more fun than I thought.

I barrelled into her, feeling a spark of pleasure as we both fell to the ground, me on top of her. I pinned her to the ground, my hands around her throat. This would be so much easier if I had a weapon, but I could easily strangle her to death, but it would take more time.

Clove must have regained her composure, because she was standing next to me, surveying the area, knowing that my kill would require time. Cassie's struggle was making things difficult; the gloves I wore kept slipping, allowing her a second to gasp for air. I picked her up and slammed her back down.

It stunned her enough for me to pull one of my gloves off with my teeth, the cold bit at my exposed skin, but it gave me a better grip. "Just die, you cunt!" I shouted at her.

Clove moved into action, I heard her hussel, followed by a pained groan some distance away. I turned to watch an unknown person drop to the ground, a knife lodged deep in their chest.

Cassie was still struggling, but my grip on her throat wasn't breaking.

"Cato!" Clove shouted. "We can't stay here much longer." I heard her knives clink together, and could picture her hurling another into someone else.

I looked down into Cassie's eyes, watching the terror in them. I smiled down at her, knowing it wouldn't be much longer. Her struggles were weaker. I almost got to see her eyes glaze over when Clove pulled me off of her.

"We have to go now!" she shouted "There's to many of them, grab a pack. There's a sword over there, if we go now, we might still be able to get it."

"She's not dead yet." I said. I vaugely noticed the change in my voice before Clove turned and watched the slowly recovering Cassie gasp for breath. She grabbed a knife and heartlessly threw it at her. It sank deep into her throat, instantly she was gasping out blood, trying to scream at the pain.

"She is now." Clove ripped the knife out of her throat, her blood painting the perfectly white snow a dark red.

I turned approaching the sword that Clove had pointed to. I pulled it free with my still ungloved hand. The balance of it was magnificent, and it fit perfectly in my hand like it was specifically made only for me.

"Done admirring you're fucking sword?" Clove shouted. "We have to go!"

I turned, noticing a large group of tributes; they must have taken the time to seek each other out before deciding their numbers were enough to storm the cornicopia by force. I wanted to stay and fight. I could take them.

My sword danced in my hand intimidatingly. Clove grabbed a third pack, throwing two to me. "Are you insane?" She shouted, "We'll never live through it. It's two against six! Grab those damn packs and let's go."

I didn't move, feeling the familiar urge to battle build up in me.

"Cato!" She shouted at me. It didn't matter, she was nothing anymore.

I prepared for the carnage, my body knowing exactly what to do as I found my fighting stance. I was ready; this is what I was born to do.

* * *

A/N: I'm a sucker for icy climates...

Apparently I had anon reviewing turned off... I turned it on for those who don't have an account. Again, thank you to everyone for making this so much fun to write and for all your love.


	11. Chapter 11

Because my own addiction fuels everyone else's, here be chaptah 11.

* * *

The ground was rock hard when I collided with it. My body jerked painfully as I partially bounced off the frozen solid earth. The small black marble rolled past me, having fallen out of my pocket at the force. _Peeta…_

"Snap out of it Cato!" Clove shouted. The black marble was replaced by Cloves face staring angrily at me, she must have shoved me to break me out of my bloodthirst. "I will drag you out of here if I have to! Not like I've never had to drag your ass around before."

"It would be easier, and our chances of living would be better if you'd help me out here!" Peeta's marble was quickly rolling away. I grabbed at it, feeling its smooth hard surface with my ungloved hand. Playing with it for a moment, I saw Peeta's face and snapped back to reality.

"Get off of me!" I shouted at Clove, who had grabbed me by the shoulders and started pulling me across the icy ground.

"Then get your suicidal ass up." Clove shouted, releasing me. She grabbed the discarded packs while I stood, the sword thrown off to the side. I could only think of Peeta and the sphere in my hand. Is he still alive?

I was jerked out of my thoughts when Clove threw the two packs at me. "Run!" she shouted again. The other tributes were only about thirty feet away by the time I turned and started running, stopping to pick up my sword on the way. I didn't look behind me, knowing that Clove was close to me only by the clinking of her knives.

* * *

We succesfully made it away from the cornucopia, but both of us were still running, hoping that the group wasn't following us. The ground started to level, making it easier to run. I dared a sneak back, seeing Clove behind me, but no one else following us, the cornucopia no longer in sight, only the incline we had just ran from.

My distraction caused me to slip on the unfamiliar terrain, the snow suddenly turning to ice. Painfully hitting the ground for what seemed like the hundreth time today sliding another few feet. I tried to grab ahold of something, anything, to help slow me down, but there was nothing.

Clove was approaching from behind. "We aren't safe yet. Get up!"

"Dammit Clove, I fucking know that!" I shouted back, trying to regain my footing on the frozen terrain. I kept slipping; my boots couldn't get a grip on the nearly frictionless ice.

"Fucking retard!" Clove yelled. She cautiously walked over to help me stand, not wanting to fall herself.

"Shove it!"I snapped at her. She grabbed a hold of my arm, helping me back to my feet. What I thought were Clove's knives clinking turned out to be something else because she wasn't moving and there didn't seem to be any wind. I looked down at my feet

"Uhh, Clove." I whispered to her. "Don't look down."

She obviously did, catching the cracks in the ice by our feet. "Fan-fucking-tastic." Clove muttered. We must have run onto some water in our haste. We couldn't tell how deep it was, only knowing that standing on cracking ice was not a good thing.

"I really should have just left your ass at the cornucopia." Clove was still muttering, slowly sliding her feet further away from mine, trying to spread our weight out more. "I swear, if we live through today, I'm going to kill you for being a dumbass."

I glared at her through my facemask, knowing she probably couldn't see it. Although the act made me feel slightly better. "Just make sure you balance your weight, keep your feet apart and slowly slide away from the cracks." I answered her.

It was an agonizing few minutes to cross only the few feet to the snow. "How do we know there isn't more ice under this?" Clove asked, "We might be standing on top of a frozen lake!"

I looked around, I couldn't tell for sure. The only thing nearby was the incline leading back to the cornucopia. "We'll have to move towards those boulders." I pointed to a ridge in the distance, we'd have to take the risk and cross some of the ice, but it was better than turning back to the cornucopia.

"I don't hear anymore cracking." Clove noted.

"Neither do I," I answered. Surveying the surroundings, I didn't see any of the other tributes nearby. That doesn't mean they aren't there, though. "Let's just be sure and take it a little slower."

Clove nodded at me, and we started towards the ridge, hoping the day wouldn't bring us much more. The walk was mainly silent at first, both of us trying to figure out what our next move was. My hand slipped into my jacket pocket to play with the black it, I probably would have died. But I have to stay alive, if only to make sure that Peeta is alright.

The canons startled us at first, having forgotten their presence that signaled the end of the battle. It sounded seven times. Not very many for the initial blood bath, but then again, none of us wanted to kill our friends.

Clove broke the silence, "What was that back at the cornucopia?"

Turning to her, she was watching the ground as we catiuosly crossed the snow covered ice. "I mean, you weren't… you." She finished.

I didn't know what to say, the whole thing was sort of a blur to me. I don't really remember what was going through my head at the time. Only that Clove had somehow managed to pull me out of it and a vauge feeling that I was going to fight to my death.

"I just want to know, because I saw a glimpse of the person you used to be." She stuttured out, "And if that's the case, I don't want to stick around for you cross me."

She paused, her voice soft when she started again. "I know the time will come, but I thought we had each others' back until the time came when we had to fight it out. I just don't want to die with my best friend stabbing me in the back."

"How would that be any different if you saw it coming?" I asked her.

"It just is. Both of us know only one can win. When it comes down to it, I'd be able to face you as a friend, not an enemy. I'd be happy win or lose, as long as I knew you were still you and that we both gave it our all." She answered.

I never saw this side of Clove. Then again, we were never forced to think about the other's death at our own hands. I could see where she was coming from. As much as it would hurt to kill her, I wanted it to be a fair match. Win or lose, it didn't matter as long as we knew it was something that wouldn't have happened unless we were forced to. I was hoping it was Clove or Peeta that won. The pain from watching them die was something I didn't want to live with.

"You are still you, aren't you?" it was barely a whisper. It pained me that she had to ask, but I didn't give much of a reason to trust me today.

"Yes." I answered, playing with the marble in my pocket. It was what pulled me from my haze. Watching it roll away was when I pulled from the fog. Was the arena going to force the mask back? Was it one more obstacle I had to face compared to the others? The marble's weight in my hand brought Peeta to my thoughts. Peeta was my anchor, and without him all I had was the small black orb to remind me he was still out there. Without it, I was sure the mask would show its ugly face.

Only seven dead: good odds on Peeta being alive. The ridge was growing closer, but there was nothing to judge the distant with. For all we knew, it could still be miles away.

"You're thinking about him, aren't you?" Clove stated. It wasn't really a question, more an observation. At the moment, I honestly wasn't, trying to judge the distance we had yet to travel. I hated being out in the open like this.

"I'm not sure if it was him or not." Clove said, "But I'm pretty sure District 12 was on their shoulder."

My thoughts came back; I couldn't tell if it was him or not either. The number on who-ever-it-was' shoulder was partially hidden. "I saw them run off towards the woods though. That's what made me think it wasn't him. If he saw me, he would have known that I'd eventually find you. Maybe it was Katniss."

I didn't see the other tribute after I had stepped off the platform, it was like they evaporated in thin air. Her statement made sense; I would have thought that if Peeta saw someone with District 2 on their shoulder, he would have approached us. He meant too much to me, and Clove would never have killed him on behalf of me.

I felt a cool breeze, noticing the sun starting to sink over the horizon. The temperature was dropping and we were still stuck out on this 'lake' in the open. "It'll be dark soon." I said.

"Yeah, I guess it will." Clove answered. I visibly saw her shiver. If she was cold now, then there was no saying what the night would have in store for her. I thought about the other tributes, and how unfair the whole situation was. We never even got the chance to learn survival skills. Especially in an environment that required so much more just to stay alive, such as this one.

The cliff seemed to be drawing closer, growing larger with each step. At least more so than it was earlier. It gave me hope, thinking maybe we would reach it before night.

* * *

We reached the ridge just as the sun was setting, feeling slightly safer from its outstretched shadow before it merged with the darkness that overcame it. Both Clove and I collapsed on the ground. We didn't have a chance to check our packs during the day, to worried our preoccupation would cause a fatal mistep.

Almost blinded by the overwhelming darkness, I serached the contents of one bag, finding a loaf of bread. I broke it in two, handing one half to Clove. The baker boy flashed in my mind as I picked at the flaky loaf. Clove had pulled out a sleeping bag large enough for two. We silently ate and climbed into the sleeping bag. I pulled Clove close, her usually cold touch was warmer than I remembered; her body heat would be something I'd need for the long night.

The moon started its ascent; the cold of night freezing both us. We optimistically assumed no one would attack on the first night; the cold penetrated to the bone and would require some getting used to. I volunteered to take the first watch and she relaxed into my embrace.

The anthem started to play, both of us looking up into the sky. The seven tributes flashed one by one. My heart sank when I saw Cassie. I didn't much care for her, but my foggy memory reminded me of my elation when trying to kill her. I was sickened and shuddered at the thought. Clove pulled closer into me, drapping her hand across my chest in an attempt to comfort me. The last name to appear was a boy from district 10 before the black sky returned. Peeta was still alive.

I started to drift off, the cold only making me more tired and Clove's weight against me brought back memories of Peeta. 'I'll find you Peeta, if it's the last thing I do. I promise'. I hoped mymental promise somehow got to him and that when I woke up it was him in my arms instead of Clove.

I jerked at initially hearing it, the noise scattering my thoughts. My eyes widened when I realized what it meant: the deep echo of a distant howl ringing across the night sky. All of a sudden, the other tributes were the least of my worries as more howling filled the air.

* * *

A/N: I don't have much to say. Enjoy because I might fail out of college because of it.

Just kidding, I graduate regardless. Just be nicer if I had A's instead of F's. :p

Again, I'm joking. You ever get sick? Ask for Dr. Simultaneity. He prescribe you meds and fanfiction.


	12. Chapter 12

So I've come to realize that my little joke at the end of the last chapter was taken a little seriously by some. Honestly it's flattering to hear your concerns, but there is no need to worry. I'm a master of procrastination. Anyway Chapter 12.

* * *

"What's that noise?" Clove asked. The eerie howling waking her.

"Sounds like wolves." I answered. I've never seen one, but leave it to the capitol to throw something like them into the mix. As if we didn't have enough to worry about already. "Try to go back to sleep. You'll need it."

She nodded, "Wake me up in an hour, I'll take over watch."

She curled back into me, trying to find a warm spot in the bitter cold. Our heavy clothes didn't let much heat escape, but the little that did started to warm the sleeping bag slightly.

The howling was consistent as it echoed across our frozen world. They came from all directions. I couldn't tell if it was their echo or not, making my head spin. It was amazing that Clove was able to fall back asleep with the terrible noise ontop of the cold. I shuffled slightly, my feet starting to fall asleep from my lack of movement.

I pulled out the marble, noticing my hand was still ungloved. I must have lost it in our hurried escape. The marble was warm in my hands from my pocket, mimicing its true owners effects on me. Peeta, I hope you're staying warm. I wanted to stop wasting time, brave the night, and find my baker. It was a stupid thought, the cold would overwhelm me. Not to mention whatever waited in the dark to take me.

It was too quiet all of a sudden. The haunting echo had stopped. My hand started trembling as I thought 'the calm before the storm.' I darted my gaze across the landscape, catching darker sillouhetes in the already dark night. Were my eyes playing tricks on me?

I watched them more closely. They weren't moving but that didn't mean it wasn't trouble. Reaching for my sword was all I could do to calm my nerves. I didn't want to wake Clove quite yet, it might turn out to be nothing.

There was no need to wake her, both of us shooting forward at the blood curdling scream that filled the night followed by vicious snarling. The noise was to close for comfort.

"What's going on?" Clove shouted as she fumbled with our sleeping bag.

"Quiet!" The screaming was growing weaker, but the snarling louder. There wasn't anything we could do expect hope Clove's scream went unnoticed by whatever was out there.

Why didn't the cannon sound yet? Clove pulled on my arm, probably thinking the same thing. "Cato," her voice soft, barely able to distinguish against the growls. "Don't let me die like that. Let it be quick."

"Don't talk like that, Clove." I whispered back to her, taking my arm from her grasp and pulling her close to my side. "I won't let you die on me."

It seemed to quell her fear slightly, even though she knew it was a lie. In order to save her, I'd have to plan to die myself. It did nothing to help my own thoughts. What if that was Peeta? Instantly, I regretted my earlier choice to stay here instead of attempting to find him. What if he was so close only to be torn apart by the fiends in the darkness? It would have all been my fault.

I dropped my sword, feeling my hands strain around its handle. As comforting as the death grip was, I wanted the reassurance from the marble. I held it in my hand, not feeling the warmth I was hoping to find, but finding its touch chilling.

The cannon finally signaled the poor bastard's death. It was irrational to think it, but I felt like it truly was Peeta out there. Only confirmed by the now cold marble in my hands, as if his essence just disappearred taking its warmth with. Part of me rationalized that it was just the weather that naturally cooled the marble down, but my mind still raced.

"Cato." Clove was pushing at me, "I don't think we should stay here any longer." She was trying to escape the sleeping bag. Grabbing her arm, I pulled her back.

"Why?" I asked her. I didn't want her to panic, but my reaction and question only made things worse.

"I don't want to stay here." She shouted. I never saw Clove so spooked. "Those 'things' are close. I don't want to endure that torture or wake up to find you being mauled."

She was panicing, I didn't want to stay here any more than she did, but where would we go? Especially in the middle of the night. We were in the arena, there's no such thing as safe here.

"It seemed so much easier to battle someone head on. It's what I trained for! I thought I'd be safe with the other careers and wouldn't have to worry so much about dying in my sleep. Or.. Or, being torn apart." She was falling to piecies. The strong Clove at the cornucopia that brutally slayed the others was reduced to a whimpering mess. "I never thought it'd be easy. Now all I have is you, and I can't know for sure if you won't flip a switch or something and kill me when I least expect it! It's not supposed to be like this!"

"Clove, knock it off!" I nudged her, hoping it would help knock some sense into her. "I know, everything sucks right now. Freaking out won't fix it!"

I just noticed that we had been shouting at eachother, stopping to listen. There was nothing. I quick shot a glance towards the previously forgotten sillouhettes. They were gone and it was too quiet. "Grab you're stuff. We have to go."

Silence was never good after someone was brutally killed by animals, especially if the noises of the carnage seemed so close. Our sleeping bag was rolled up, but we lacked the patience to roll it correctly making it difficult to fit into our pack. It wouldn't fit right and we didn't have the time to re-roll it. I pushed Clove off directing her to gather the rest of our things while I mercilessly shoved it in, crushing a second loaf of bread in the process.

I watched the horizon, hoping it all was in my head and there was nothing to freak out about. Clove pulled me along, eager to start moving. Turnning, we adjusted the packs on our backs. My marble rolled in my fingers a few more times before I returned it to my pocket.

The cold feel of my swords handle in my hand made me feel a little safer. At least now if we were attacked, we were both ready to fight back. We started a jog, to nervous to walk and not knowing where to run to. We might run out into the middle of ice again.

A second cannon caused us both to jump. Someone else had died? Then a third. We were dropping like flies. I wondered what could have killed them? Maybe the wolves got them? I didn't hear any howls, and judging from the first kill, it was unlikely both of them would have died so close to eachother. It was also too early in the game for anyone to have died from the cold. They must have run into some of the other tributes.

I was thankful we were moving, the artificial safty that Clove and I assumed was obviously wrong. It seems the other tributes are out tonight. It was stupid to think they wouldn't be.

Our jog quickly turned into a full out run, neither of us knowing where we were going; only wanting to leave the horror of our camp behind. We ran for what felt like most of the night, but there was no sign of dawn. Darker shadows were infront of us, their elongated shapes reminded me of trees. I turned to Clove by my side, hoping she could see my excitement. The feeling only lasted a moment when I saw the black shape approaching us quickly.

"Clove, get down!" I shouted, sword held high as I slid across the ice in my attempt to stop. Clove instantly dove to the ground, sliding onto her back. Her knives were drawn, one in each hand. I stood next to her, protectively urging her to her feet as the shadow erupted on us.

Arking my sword in a wide swing, I misjudged the distance and missed entirely. Its body collided with mine, causing us to fall to the ground. Its snarls bloodcurdling and exuding the scent of blood. The claws were sharp , I felt them slide through my jacket and knick my skin. The warm wet scensation of blood started to cover my chest. "Clove!" I shouted, barely dodging the beasts bite.

The beast wailed and its weight dropped on me. It was still fighting me, but its attention was somewhere else. My sword arm was freed by the beasts' thrashing. The muffled groans of Clove were coming from the creatures back. Her dark form was thrown off the wolf's body from its shaking. "Stab it Cato!"

I tried to move my arm while the beast recovered from Cloves injury. Pulling my arm back, I dug the tip of my sword into the creature's abdomen, feeling it trash harder. It's claws were digging into my jacket again, this time not making it through to my skin. I pulled my sword out only to thrust it in a second, third, and fourth time. I didn't stop until my attacker wasn't moving.

"I think you got it." Clove said, crawling her way over to me.

"Help me get this son of a bitch off me." Wasting no time, Clove started to push it and I kicked it off. The fiend rolled over with a dead thud, Clove pulling her dagger from its carcass.

"Are you alright?" Clove asked, catching a glimpse of my jacket. Even in the darkness, looking down, I could see the damage done clearly. Climbing to my feet, I gave the animal one last kick for good measure and nodded to Clove.

"Should we take it with us?" Clove asked, "Maybe for food, or at least an extra layer of clothing. It has a thick hide."

I thought about it before disagreeing with her. This wasn't an ordinary wolf; it was much bigger than anything I had heard about. "It's much too large to carry, and we don't have the time to sit around and butcher it. If there's one there is probably another." The howls from early in the night reminded me that this wasn't the only one.

"Which means we shouldn't stick around to find out. Let's head over there. We might be able to find some shelter." Pointing to what I thought was a forest.

We started running towards the growing shadows, the first slivers of sunlight appearing confriming it was indeed a forest. We made it into the trees, not wanting to stop incase another of the creatures was following us.

The sun's rays brought back the familiar colors of dawn, temporarily blinding me as I smacked into something solid. Falling to the ground thinking 'fucking christ, if I end up on the ground one more fucking time…'

"Cato!" Clove shouted, "Watch out! It's one of the other tributes!"

"Uhhg, Clove?" wait… That voice. "Cato?"

I stayed on the ground, in shock. Thinking my ears were playing tricks on me. The person infront of me couldn't possibly be…

He stood up, looking at both of us before taking his facemask off. Blonde hair and blue eyes mixed with the yellows and oranges of the sunrise.

"Peeta?"


	13. Chapter 13

So I've exhausted my supply. I normally have a few chapters queued up and ready to go because I get impatient and can't help but share them immediately, but I've reached my limit. I haven't even started the next one yet, but I'll get working on that real soon. Leave me some love!

* * *

He was in my arms before I even knew I was standing. "You're alright!" I shouted, pulling my own mask off to get a better look at him.

"I'm fine, Cato." He simply reply seemed distant. Something was on his mind. What? Was he not happy to see me? Did I do everything in my power to find him and he wants nothing to do with me? Pulling away from him my gaze filled with rage.

"What? No, 'It's good to see you? I'm glad you're okay to?'" he looked away from me, sorrow clouding his face. "Is there a problem or something?"

"Well, I heard shouting and growling, and I found myself running." Peeta was exlpaining, he still looked worried, instantly regretting my actions.

"Why would you run _at_ the growling?" Clove jumped in, trying to defuse the building tension.

"Because I thought whatever it was had Katniss." He was surveying the forest wildly. "She said she'd be back, but she's been gone for awhile. The cannons got me a little worried and then I heard the attack and started running." He looked down, seeing my jacket for the first time, tinted red with my own blood.

"Looks like it found you two first." His animosity at me hurt at first. I didn't blame him, I was a complete dick to him at first to. "Are you alright?" His features softened at my hurt, his gloved hand outstretched to my cut chest, trying to get a better look at the damage.

"I'm fine." I answered coldly.

"You can't leave that cut open in this weather, you're blood will freeze." He reached into his pack, pulling out a small first aid kit. His genuine concern melted any hostility from our impersonal reunion.

"You said you were with Katniss?" Clove asked.

"Sit down and take your jacket off so I can get a better look at it." Peeta instructed me, he answered Clove's question while he applied the gauze. "Yeah. I don't know what was so important to leave in the middle of the night, but she told me not to worry. That she would be right back. It's been hours."

Katniss. How dare she leave him alone during the night, especially on the first day? The thought of it made me want to rip her apart when we found her. This type of arena wasn't something you could do on your own. You needed the extra person, if not only for the warmth.

"All done." Peeta smiled up at me, his touch lingering on my abs for a moment before he pulled away. All I wanted was to pull him back. I grabbed the hem of his shirt as he started to stand and pulled him back down, finding his lips against mine.

"Can you two maybe do this another time? I know it's all 'Yay, you're alive! I missed you so much! Mwauh mwuah mwauh!' but we kinda have a problem here." Clove answered

Peeta broke away from me, a blush on his face at Clove's comment. "Better put your jacket back on before you freeze." He told me.

I didn't notice the coldsnap against my exposed skin until he pulled away, his disappearing warmth leaving me to the harsh elements. My jacket was still useable, but the slices across my chest area made the jacket less effective. Peeta must have noticed it and searched his pack.

"I think I have a blanket in here, or something that might be able to hold in the heat better." He pulled out a small cloth and stuffed it between my chest and my jacket. "It's not perfect, but it'll help a little. In the cold, you're core heat is the most important, you lose that and you mind as well kill yourself to end the misery."

He looked down at my hand and let out a sigh, "Where are your gloves?" grabbing my overly red fingers. The warmth from him was actually painful against my irritated skin. His other hand sandwiched my own between his and he rubbed them together. "You're going to get frostbite. Here, take my gloves for now. I can go a little bit without them."

"Uh, thanks." I answered pulling the glove on, it was small but warm. The sound of my own voice made me realize it was the first thing I had said in awhile.

"How did your night end up?" like that wasn't awkward. "I mean, aside from Katniss ditching you."

"I didn't ditch him." Following the voice, I spotted her. An arrow poised and aimed right at my head. "What are you doing here?"

"Chill out, Katniss." Peeta answered, "They're with me." She didn't release her arrow, but still aimed it at me.

"Making friends with the enemy? You know, I could just kill him now and we wouldn't have to worry about it later." Katniss answered, drawing the string back to emphasize her point.

"And then I'd have to kill you."Clove had her knives out, ready to be thrown. "Feelin' lucky?"

"Everyone needs to calm down." Peeta stepped in front of me in a protective gesture, but the boy was at least a head shorter than me. Katniss aim was still locked onto me. A moment of tense silence passed before she released the string, and put her arrow back into her quiver. Clove relaxed her knives.

"Mind explaining all of this then?" Katniss asked to Peeta.

"If anyone needs to explain anything, it's you!" Peeta shouted, "You left me!"

"I know, if I told you what I was really up to, you never would have let me leave." Katniss answered. "I went back to the cornucopia, thinking everyone would have cleared out. I mean you'd have to be stupid to stay on the peak with nothing to block the wind. There were two of them though."

"I grabbed this," lifting her bow. "and another pack before I took care of them." Well that explains the two cannons last night.

"What possessed you to run off into the freezing night?" Clove asked, "Above all, with those monsters howling all night?"

"I'm used to the cold." Katniss answered. "Wolves are also easy to outsmart if you know what you're doing. I've had my fair share of practice with wild dogs."

It still amazed me. This Katniss girl was turning out to be a formidable opponent. Thankfully she was partially one of my allies right now. "Do you know how to use that?" I asked her, pointing to her bow.

Peeta laughed, "Yeah she does, she used to sell my dad squirrels that she killed. She never misses."

"Alright, I answered you're questions. Now what are they doing here? And why aren't we killing them." Katniss asked. Fuck my admiration, I wanted to grab my sword and slice through her.

"Because I won't let you. Cato and Clove were my friends in the tower. You kill them, and I'll hunt you down." Peeta's answer visibly unnerved Katniss.

"Whatever. They get in my way, I'll take them out." Katniss answered as she pushed her way past us.

The three of us watched her as she walked ahead of us. Clove walked up behind me and Peeta whispering, "I don't like her very much…"

Peeta laughed, "She takes a bit of getting used to." He started putting his facemask back on, smiling up at me. His blue eyes still visible under the grey mask.

"Katniss." He called after her. She turned to watch the three of us.

"Are you three coming?"

"I was thinking, I know its dawn, but I don't think any of us got any sleep. You were out gathering supplies, I was alone, and it seems like Cato and Clove spent the night running away from wolves. Since there's four of us now, we can take the first part of the day to rest." Peeta explained.

Katniss stared at him for a while. She didn't seem to like the idea very much. I didn't much care for it either. As good as sleep would sound, we'd be wasting precious daylight.

"Are you sure wasting daylight is such a good idea?" I voiced my opinion.

"As opposed to using it for what?" Peeta asked, "We have enough food for the day, and Katniss is decent at setting traps. We could take a break and wait to see what's caught. One of us would always be on watch."

"As tired as I am, and how much I regret saying it, I agree with Cato." Katniss answered. "The thought of sleep is tempting, but we need to prepare."

"Well, that makes two against one." Peeta said, "Clove?"

Clove yawned, all the talk about sleep was obviously getting to her. "Peeta's option is very tempting. Plus, how much could we really get done with all of us working on no sleep?"

"Great, now its split even." I answered. "That whole discussion went no where."

Clove poked me, I turned and she pointed at Peeta who was lost in thought then winked at me.

"What?" I asked her.

"Thank about it." Clove said.

Oh, if we took a break, I'd get a little one on one Peeta time. "On second thought, maybe we should get some rest."

Peeta's eyes were shining when he looked up at me. "Then it's settled! We'll catch a few hours of sleep and then continue at noon."

Katniss sighed in defeat. "Come on, Katniss. You know it will do all of us some good." Clove rationalized.

"Fine, I'll set a few snares and then I'll be back." She more so stomped off into the forest than simply leaving us.

"I'll take first watch. I got a few hours of sleep last night." Offered a scheming Clove. It was good to have this Clove back despite the situation we are in. She opened her pack and pulled out the large sleeping bag and handed it to me.

I unrolled it and climbed into it, Peeta watching me. "Are you going to join me?" I asked, opening part of the bag in an invitation. He crawled in, sheepishly.

I pulled him close to me, wanting his warmth and missing him in my arms. "Cato?" Peeta asked when he noticed Clove busy herself nearby. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too." I whispered, moving slightly to find his lips through our face masks. His kiss still filled me with that fire, thinking there couldn't be a better companion for this icy arena.

"I knew you would find me. I got this feeling last night that you were out there searching." Peeta answered. He settled back against me. "Part of me wasn't sure if I wanted you to find me. I mean, granted we get a little more time together, it'll only make it harder in the end."

Thinking of something Clove told me when I first met her, and suddenly understanding what she meant. "But sometimes, it's what makes life worth living." I tried not to think about the irony in my words and what would have to happen towards the end of the games. All I knew was that Peeta was back in my arms and he was all that mattered. Even if it's only for a moment.

* * *

Aww sappy sappy. Figured I tortured you all enough with my last few endings. So I'll give you something slightly happier.


	14. Chapter 14

"Welcome back." Clove broke the silence that filled the camp, stiring me from my sleep. "I left some bread for you, I just finished the other piece."

"Great it would be you on watch." Katniss voice and footfalls fully awoke me. Peeta was pushed up against my chest, we couldn't have been asleep very long if Katniss was just returning.

"Oh it's good to see you, too." Clove shot back, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I won't be getting any sleep with you on watch." Katniss argued.

"Why not?" Clove asked. I could picture her anger starting to boil at Katniss' quips at her. "Afraid I'll run off while you're sleeping and leave you vulnerable?"

"I can only wish." Katniss answered, "I just don't trust you, and frankly don't care much for you."

"The feelings mutual, bitch. Aparently you would trust Cato?" Clove steamed. My back was to them, I couldn't see them. I had the feeling of being stared at and they both paused.

"Are they both in there?" Katniss asked. I never really thought about it, but she probably didn't know about me and Peeta. She always stayed to herself and showed no interest in any of the other tributes.

"It's freezing, of course they're both in there." Clove hissed back. Thanks Clove, that was one conversation I wasn't ready to face. Peeta must have woken up too; he was moving his head to turn around.

"Don't move; let's stay out of this one for now." I whispered in his ear. He nodded and pushed himself closer to me and I instinctively wrapped an arm around him, feeling his chest move with his steady breathing.

"I'd still rather stay in my own sleeping bag." Katniss answered. Shuffling filled the silence, Katniss must have pulled hers out and was crawling into it. "Why don't you make yourself useful and figure out what those packs have. We have to many to be hauling around everywhere."

"Excuse me?" Clove said, "Why don't you fucking do it, princess. Anyway, I thought you couldn't sleep while I'm on guard."

I felt like this was a good time to pretend to wake up. I didn't want the two girls to get in a huge brawl that could have been prevented. "What's going on?" I asked with my best sleep-filled void. I let go of Peeta so I could roll over and see them.

"Cato?" Clove asked, "Sorry, did we wake you up?"

"You woke him up with your annoying banter." Katniss chimed in.

"Who asked you?" Clove shouted, "You are impossible, no wonder no one ever wanted to get to know you."

Peeta poked his head up behind me, "Knock it off, you two. There's no sense in fighting among ourselves."

"Tell her that!" Clove shouted. The sleeping bag was warm, but I needed to calm Clove down before she attracted someone with her yelling. Or she killed Katniss. Pulling myself away from the sleeping bag was tough, I didn't want to leave Peeta's side but I had to.

"Clove, calm down." I pulled Clove close to me, trying to help her relax.

"No Cato," Clove had her mind set, "I know you want to stay here with Peeta, but I can't stay here with her!"

"You two just need to get to know each other a little better." Peeta was by my side again, helping to counsel Clove.

"I'd rather not." Katniss answered. She was sitting alone and seemed to be bothered by the fact that no one was trying to her. Peeta glared at her.

"What do you have against me?" Clove shouted, "It seems like I'm the only one you hate!"

"Like I said earlier, I don't trust you. And I don't want to trust you. I had everything I needed with Peeta until you two showed up." Katniss hissed. "I don't see the point in keeping you two, but Peeta wanted both of you. I spared you for him."

It seemed everyone was fighting for Peeta and it put him in an awkward position. "Likewise to you. I didn't kill you for Peeta because Cato would never forgive me if I hurt Peeta." Clove answered.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" Peeta shouted. I never saw him so angry, not even in the tower when he was mad at me. His anger was terrifying, but for some reason it turned me on. This isn't the time for these kinds of thoughts. Clove and Katniss are at each others throats and I'm thinking about jumping the furious boy next to me. I'm such a good friend.

"Why is everyone fighting over me? Don't you all realize where we are? We are in the arena! As much as I wish we weren't, we are! It's only the second day and already my friends are fighting amonst themselves. Because of me, dammit. I won't have it." His voice lost the anger it initially had.

"I'm sorry, Peeta." Clove apologized, "I tried, but I can't anymore. Cato, I can't stay here. I won't wait for her to kill me when I least expect it."

"Clove, please think about it a little more?" I begged her. I couldn't let her leave on her own, but I couldn't leave Peeta again now that I've finally found him.

"Let her go, we'd be better off without her." Katniss answered. Peeta seemed to be infuriated again.

"Can't you two even try?" He shouted.

"You don't get it Peeta, I did try." Clove answered, "I tried for you! And for Cato. She never gave me the chance."

"Clove, don't make me choose." I pleaded, "You know who how it will end."

"I know, Cato." Clove answered, "And I understand, I wouldn't force you to come with me. I know that if I leave, I'll be leaving alone. I'd rather face this arena alone than wait to be killed by her."

"I could just make it quick and do it now." Katniss started. Peeta was glaring at her, his gloved hand and bare hand clenched into fists.

"Clove, don't go." I was begging her, something I have never done before, "I don't want you be out there on your own."

"Why exactly is Cato going to be staying?" Katniss asked. What is this bitch's problem? Both me and Clove never did anything to her. Suddenly I could understand why Clove was so upset after Katniss' comment was directed at me. Clove had taken the brunt of it all morning, I only had a comment and I was ready to punch her out. How did Peeta put up with her? And why did he want to?

"He's not." Peeta answered. What was Peeta doing? Was he kicking me out? "If Clove wants to leave, I won't let her go off alone."

I wanted to shake him all of a sudden, my voice was low and I didn't recognize it. He was approaching me but I didn't want him to touch me after what he said.

"Peeta, I'll be fine on my own." Clove answered, gathering a few of her things together and sliding her pack on. "I know Cato doesn't want to leave you, and it's my choice. I know what I'm doing."

"No you don't." Peeta bellow to Clove and turned back to me.

"Don't make me leave." I did want to leave his side. I never wanted to again but he wanted to me leave.

"You'll be fine, maybe it's better this way. We won't have to kill or watch each other die." He paused at the thought "We both care about Clove, and I won't let her run off without someone there to be with her."

"I can't leave you. You keep me who I am." I felt on the verge of tears and I pulled my fasemask off, the constraint was becoming too much. "Without you, I'll fall apart." I thought of the black marble in my pocket and knew that it wouldn't be enough this time.

"I'll always be there in your mind." Peeta pulled off his facemask and smiled up at me. "You can do this."

"Why don't you come with me?" I asked him, not really understanding why he had such an attachment to Katniss.

"I can't leave her. I don't know how to explain it. She's not the most pleasant person, but I still care about her." Peeta answered. The first few snowflakes started to drop from the sky. A single snowflake landed on Peeta's cheek and it took everything I had not to wipe it away.

"You can't save everyone, you know." Clove interrupted. "It's easy to think that we can all make it out of here, but honestly, even if we are lucky only one of us will make it out of here."

"I know that."Peeta answered, our gazes catching. "But I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try to help the people I care about."

His arms were around my neck in a moment, my hands pulling his waist closer to me. If this was the last time I was going to see him, I wanted to remember the feel of him against me. Memorize the eyes that I've drown in so many times before. It hurt me to close my eyes, but the touch of his lips was overwhelming. The fire inside me was building from our locked lips. The fire that would probably never be felt again if I let go of him.

"What the fuck?" Katniss shrieked. We broke away from eachother at her scream. She was scrambling for her bow, pulled an arrow and raised it to my head.

"I knew there was something going on, but I didn't think it could actually be true." Katniss shouted. "I didn't want it to be true. I've always had respect for you Peeta, ever since you saved my life; I just never knew how to express it. Now I find out you're a faggot? You expect me to respect that?"

Clove reappeared, slamming into the distracted Katniss. She lost hold of her bow and they both fell to the ground. "Fuck you Katniss! Don't you ever talk to them like that." Clove shouted, pulling out her knife.

"Don't kill her!" Peeta shouted, running at Clove.

Katniss was laughing "Why not? It's not like you actually care about me like you say you do. You and your boyfriend can die for all I care. So just let her. Let her kill me, you faggot!"

Peeta stopped in his tracks at her words. I ran towards him feeling the anger in me start to build. I knew that I had to help Peeta, but I wanted to be the one to finish the bitch off. Clove had her knife against Katniss' throat, my arms around Peeta. "Clove, don't kill her. Please."

"Then what should we do with her?" I forced myself to ask, he was shaking in my arms and I instinctively tightened my embrace feeling him suck the anger out of me.

"Let her go. This time." Peeta answered. "But believe me Katniss, this is the last time I'll show you any mercy."

Peeta pulled away from me, I grabbed my sword and Clove slowly released her grip on Katniss. She must have known she was outmatched because she looked defeated. "Don't think I won't find you again." She hissed before running off. She grabbed her bow and a pack before we could stop her and we watched her run off into the forest.

"We should move incase she circles back to pick us off with her bow." Clove answered. Peeta nodded, but he looked wrecked. We silently rolled the sleeping bag back up and started on our way in the opposite direction of Katniss. Our footprints heavy in the snow, but the wind was increasing and the snowing grew heavier. We didn't need to worry about our tracks being followed thanks to the weather. I couldn't tell if Peeta was crying or if it was because of the snow. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder as we walked trying to silently comfort him the best I could. The next time I see her, I will kill her. as the blizzard slowly approached us.

* * *

So... This one took me a bit to write. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed it.


	15. Chapter 15

The wind started to whip at our faces, the snow beating relentlessy against us. It was a mistake to leave the forest and now we were lost in a tundra with nothing but white around us. Even with Peeta's hand in mine, I couldn't make him out.

"Clove?" I shouted hoping she would be able to hear me over the winds churn.

"I'm here!" Clove shouted back. I couldn't see her, but her voice at least confirmed she was here.

"Take my hand, I don't want any of us getting seperated." I shouted. Peeta was still silent from the encounter with Katniss. It obviously shook him and he was having trouble coming back to us. My grip on his hand tightened. "Do you want you're glove back? I'm sure you're hand is freezing."

There was no answer so I repeated it, a little louder this time. "I heard you the first time, Cato." His words held a sting to them that shot through me painfully. It's only been a few hours since everything happened, but it seemed like he was blaming me for it all.

Clove's hand grasped mine, making me jump. "We need to get out of this snow before it traps us." She shouted, "And we don't know where we are going, we might walk off a cliff or something. We should turn back."

"Turn back to what? We don't even know where we came from." I shouted back, "It's pure white out here and our tracks are probably covered by now."

"Well we have to do something!" Clove shouted back.

That's when Peeta started moving, consequently dragging the two of us with him with our locked hands. "We at least know what direction we were headed, if we turn straight back we should at least hit the forest at some point." Peeta snapped.

I didn't know what was worse, the bitting cold from the blizzard that left us all numb or the cold hatred Peeta was radiating. "I suppose you're right." Clove hollered back. "The forest did seem to circle the cornucopia, we'd hit it at some point if we turned back. Even if we moved a little of course."

"And what about the cliffs and ledges?" I yelled.

"Would you rather stay here and be burried alive?" Peeta barked back at me. "Let's go."

He was pulling us along before I could even get to answer him. What happened to my Peeta? This one isn't the one I was falling for. Had fallen for. It was the first time I admitted it to myself, that I was already his.

* * *

We walked for an hour before Peeta stopped. "This doesn't seem right. The ground is different."

"No shit." Clove replied, "It's a blizzard, everything is being blown around."

"No, what we were walking on before was rock, this is ice." A flashback to the 'lake' me and Clove spent the first night on came to mind.

"Blizzards usually cause ice to form on the ground, Peeta." Clove answered

"Yes, but it takes time, it doesn't usually happen _during_ the storm. Snow doesn't randomly turn into ice unless it melts first. Do you really think the snow melted during this blizzard?" It amazed me how much Peeta actually knew about the cold, but then again he was from district 12 where they had some of the worst winters in the country. "We must have turned around somewhere."

"Can we walk around it? Or just move forward, we turned around at least, we must be headed toward the forest's direction." I asked, I wasn't very happy about having to walk across ice again, however the need to be out of the storm was more pressing.

"I would rather not travel over ice." Clove shouted.

"We could follow the ice for a little while. We can't stay out here much longer or we'll freeze to death."

It was difficult to hear eachother over the wind so we all fell silent as we walked. We had to have been getting close by now. It seemed as if hours have passed by, and without the sun to judge our time, there was no way of telling for sure. Peeta's hand was still in mine. His ungloved hand was turning red. I pulled him to a stop, he turned to me confused. I took his glove off and handed it back to him.

"Take it, you need it more than I do right now." I shouted at him. He tried to push it away but I forced him to put it on. He wasn't going to lose his hand because of me. I won't let it happen, plus I could take the cold for at least a little while.

We continued on in silence again, the blizzard seemed to be letting down. You can never tell for sure, seeing nothing but white constantly starts to mess with your mind a little. I kept seeing random shadows fly by. I had to distract myself. My hand was now frozen numb without the glove and I wondered how Peeta had bared it for so long. The Peeta I knew was broken, and I never wanted anything more in my life than to put him back together.

Peeta had stopped, causing Clove to run into my back. "What's wrong" I shouted to him.

"Pretty sure we made it back to the forest." Peeta said, pulling us into the trees.

The snow almost instantly died down under the trees protection and it was the first time since the storm began that I could fully see Clove and Peeta. All three of us were covered head to toe in snow and probably looked as exhausted as I felt.

The wind was still heavy, but the snow was less intimidating in the forest's protective shield. We moved deeper into the woods hoping to find a more heavily wooded area to stop.

It didn't take long, the tree's thickened quickly the more we moved in. The wind was still strong, but the large foliage broke most of its power and the canopy protected us from most of the snow.

"Thank God!"Clove shouted, collapsing to the ground. "I don't think I could have gone any further."

Peeta sat down against a tree and brushed the majority of the snow off of himself.

"With the blizzard as cover, we might be able to make a fire unnoticed." I said. It would be difficult though, most of the wood in the area was wet, and building a fire was never something I learned back in District 2. Plus, did we even have anything to build a fire? We never actually went through our packs yet. It was sad, the last two days had been hell and we never really had a chance to see what we had.

"I'm for that, a fire sounds amazing." Clove was back on her feet, where she found the energy is a complete mystery. "Anything to warm me up a bit."

She wandered off a little in search of firewood and I busied myself with the contents of my pack. I pulled out some rope, the sleeping bag we had been using, two loaves of bread, and a small flashlight. The damn flashlight would have been useful last night if I had known it was there.

"How's your hand?" I asked Peeta as I reached for the pack Clove left for me to dig through. I opened it to find another sleeping bag, a small cloth similar to the one stuffed in my jacket, a bag of smoked jerkey, and a water canister. Normally a water canister would have been usefull, but with all the snow around, it was easy to stay hydrated.

"Peeta?" He wasn't his normal talkative self and I needed some kind of recognition from him, anything. If he wanted to punch me, I'd let him. I couldn't do this without him, and I won't allow him to fall apart on me. "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?" Peeta coldly responded. "That one of the people I've looked up to my whole life called me a faggot and wants me dead?"

"You looked up to her?" I asked. It never really made sense why he was so attached to her, but now it all seemed to click into place.

"Of course I did, you say it like it was some big secret." Peeta said, "I'll always be a little hurt that she never acknowledged me, esspeically with what I put myself through for her. But it didn't mean I wasn't watching. She seemed so strong, not many people liked her. But I admired her strength, she provided for her family in any way she could. I've looked up to her for a long time, wishing I was that strong… Only to find out she hates me because of who I am. Is that what you wanted?"

"I honestly didn't know." I answered, settling my head on his shoulder. He initally pulled away slightly, but let me rest against him. "I'm sorry, I did't know."

"What are you apologizing for? For how long I've known you, I've only seen you apologize once before." Peeta answered, honestly this was the third time thinking back to Clove, but that's not the point. I didn't even really know what I was apologizing for. Have I really changed this much? If I have, I'm glad. The person I am now is happier than I ever was, even if I have to fight the person I care about most to the death, it doesn't matter. At least I got to really live for a short time. His arm slid around my back, and I was pulled closer into him.

"I'm sorry," Peeta replied, "I know you're only concerned about me. I'm not used to having someone care as much about me as you do."

I relaxed against him, his hand settled on my shoulder and I was reminded of it's exposure to the cold. I felt him kiss my clothed forehead and I felt safe in his arms, letting my thoughts of his hand disappear for the moment.

"I tried finding the driest wood I could, but it's all still pretty wet." She said. She stopped when she saw me in Peeta's arms. I could see her smile through her facemask and knew Clove would always be there, even if she went mental at times. "All cozy, are you?" Then again, maybe I missed mental Clove at times.

She dropped the firewood, probably as confused what to do with it as I was. She was trying to stack them in a strange manner. Peeta rolled his eyes and stood. "You have to make it into a tepee. Fire has to vent a little or you'll never get it started. Here, let me."

Peeta stacked the wood against eachother, forming a cone shape. "When did you become wilderness man?" I asked him.

"Grew up in 12, we only get electricty for about an hour a month. So, I've gotten pretty good at making fires." Peeta explained, "Grab my pack, I know mine has some matches in it. Hopefully I can get this thing started."

Clove handed him his pack and he pulled out the matches and some of the gauze from the first aid kit. "Think we'll need much more of this?" He asked, "I'll save a little to redress you're wounds, but I'll never get this fire started unless I use something to help it along."

He placed the gauze under the wood tent and started it on fire with the matches. It blazed fast, causing the wood to hiss from the water inside it. It took a little coaxing, but the fire finally started and we were gathered around it, letting it warm our chilled bodies. We ate some of the smoked jerky and bread from our packs, only enough to keep us going, saving most of it for later.

I rested my head against Peeta's thigh and looked up into the sky; the blizzard started to die but was still strong enough to make our fire invisible to the others. The sky slowly turned to the colors of the sunset, magnified by the heavy snow in the air: day 2 was coming to an end. Peeta's hand rested on my chest as I watched the sky grow darker. He looked down at me, my eyes catching the last glimpse of blue before the only light we had was from the fire. I pulled him down to me, letting our lips meet and feeling my internal fire burn, making me warmer than the fire we were sitting next to ever could. Our kiss broke and I let myself relax back into his thigh. My eyes started to close. A random memory popped into my head, something my escort said. '_I watched you fall in love with Peeta_'. Maybe I did.


	16. Chapter 16

The anthem pulled all three of us from sleep. Probably a good thing, none of us really got any sleep at all in the past 2 days. It had to have been even longer, the sleeping weed was an artificial sleep that didn't really refresh you at all.

We watched as the sky lit up, noticing the blizzard had ended. Thinking only three had died today, I was surprised to notice the list went on. The cannons must have gone unnoticed out by the ferocity of the blizzard, and assuming the tributes death was also caused by it. Watching, I noticed Marvel cover the sky immediately. I didn't know the others that appeared after until Bessie from District 10 appeared. It was the last one, eight in all. That meant fifteen had died in all, so much for the Capitol not wanting us to die from the elements right away.

I mentally recapped the nine of us that were left. Clove, Peeta, and I made three. Glimmer was still out there: four. Thresh and the girl Rue made six. Surge and Alex, Thresh's friends made eight. And Katniss. I was actually sad that her name didn't appear in the now clear sky.

Clear sky…

"Shit!" I shouted, jumping to my feet. "We have to put this fire out!"

It was slowly roaring, having become mostly embers. I kicked the snow over it, hoping that our position hadn't been given away after the storms departure. The fire died, and I noticed I could still see clearly. The moon was brighter tonight than last night and gave the forest a strange luminescence.

Clove yawned, not quite fully awaking. "Who's taking the first shift?"

I wanted to move, in case our position was actually compromised by the fires light. Clove appeared to be completely against the idea, and Peeta still seemed to be slightly asleep. I wasn't sure if he caught the anthem's death list tonight, but it didn't matter. All of us were tired, I'd let Peeta sleep for the time being.

"I'll take it." I answered. I was tired, but Clove had taken the last shift back when Katniss was considered an ally. I wanted to let Peeta sleep, and Clove looked like she was going to pass out at any moment. If anyone would approach, I'd be able to wake them up in time. At least I hoped. I watched Peeta sleep for a moment, realizing that we no longer had the warmth of the fire to protect us from the cold. I pulled out the large sleeping bag and rolled it out, opening the zipper and turning it into a single sheet.

I picked Peeta up, his soft breathing confirmed I hadn't woken him, and gently laid him on the outstretched sleeping bag. Maneuvering his limbs to make sure he looked in a comfortable position, and closed the sleeping bag around him.

Turning to Clove who was already fast asleep, I repeated the process with her own sleeping bag before climbing into Peeta's. At first, I was afraid he woke up from my movements, but he only rolled over against me, his arm draping across my chest.

The howling began, but tonight it was softer. The monster wolves must be further away tonight. Their echoing noise wasn't as distressful, and I noticed Clove and Peeta were able to sleep right through it.

The time slowly passed and it gave me time to think, the only noises were the wind rusting through the trees and the distant howls echoing across the frozen planet. Peeta rustled in his sleep, his head using my chest as a pillow now. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, but didn't want to take face mask off. Choosing to rest my hand against his head protectively and play with the collar of his jacket.

How far have I really come? I was starting to see who I really was after the few days spent in the tower, but I've changed so much from then to now. Reflecting on the last two days, I had grown even more. I wasn't sure if it was dedication to find Peeta that changed me so drastically, or if it was how scared Clove was of me when I switched at the cornucopia. It must have been an unintentional thing, to force myself to become who I am now for the people I cared for.

My hand started to feel the cold from it's exposure around Peeta's neck. Moving it inside the sleeping bag for the warmth I was reminded of my marble. I hadn't thought about it in a while, really no need to since Peeta was here by my side. Pulling it out, I saw it shine, reflecting the moons unusually strong light. It held the same shine in Peeta's eyes, only another reason for the marble to forever remind me of him.

I returned my arm to beneath the sleeping bag, letting the black sphere's weight roll between my fingers and thinking of how life would be different if we were allowed to return home instead of being forced into the arena. Would it have been any different? Aside from the fact that now we had to kill each other? In reality, Peeta would have been dead in my eyes either way. I'd have never been able to see him again if we went home, so what was the difference? The difference was now I'd either have to kill him myself, watch him die, or let him watch me fade away into nothing.

The thoughts hurt to much to think about anymore. I'd have to find some way to save both of us. Clove mumbled in her sleep and I felt instant regret. I never thought about including Clove. I cared for her just as much as Peeta. It sickened me that at some point we would have to turn on each other, and I hated myself for knowing that I would turn on her before I would on Peeta. Maybe I wasn't growing, only changing from one monster into another. The arena would undoubtedly kill me in one way or another, even if I won, I'd never be able to live with myself.

Peeta turned over, his eyes opening showing a darker shade of blue from the moon's light. The moon was in the middle of the sky, I must have been thinking for a few hours and didn't notice how much time had passed.

"What's wrong?" Peeta asked, moving closer against me.

"Just thinking." I didn't really feel like talking about it. The marble in my hand was still rolling in my palm.

"What about? Seems like something is on your mind."

"It's nothing." I replied, "Only thinking about whats going to happen towards the end. Trying to find someway to save us both. But then Clove…" I was pushing my luck with trying for two victors, let alone three.

He nodded, understanding what I meant and noticing the urgency to change subjects. "Whatcha' doing under there?" I could see the smirk hidden behind his mask and I instantly stopped playing with the marble.

"Just playing with my token." I answered, pulling my hand out to show him.

"How did you get that?" Peeta asked, his smirk instantly changing to a frown. "I thought I lost it."

I tried to explain, but all that came out was "Must have fallen out of your pocket that morning…" He was waiting for a more detailed answer as to why I didn't return it to him. "I thought I'd never see you again, and I wanted something to remind me of you."

He smiled up at me, "Then keep it. It has more meaning for you. It was just a toy, one of my better memories of my childhood. My dad gave it to me for my birthday when I turned seven, told me it was special and rare. As I grew, I knew he was lying and that it was only pollished coal, but it made me feel special at the time. The feeling kind of faded as I grew, but I always kept it with me."

At his story, I wanted to give it back to him. It was something special to him. "No, you should have it back, it was an impulse to keep it for myself."

"No, I want you to remember, Cato." Peeta answered, "If you end up winning, I want you to remember me."

He moved up onto his elbows, my eyes following his movements. "Like I could forget about you, anyway." I answered.

His eyes seemed to flash at me, as if it was a challenge. He pulled his face mask off and answered "I'll give you something you'll never forget."

Our kiss was passionate, and the fire inside me burned through me quickly as our tongues found each other. It lasted only a moment before he pulled away from me. His eyes shone with an animalistic hunger. He slipped his head under the sleeping bag.

"Peeta! What are you doing?" I nearly shouted it, but managed a whisper not to wake Clove.

"Giving you something to remember me by." Peeta answered, his hand slipping the elastic material of my snow pants down, reavealing my hardening member. "Looks like you've been waiting for this." I could feel his smirk against my stomach and I knew I was at his mercy and now impossibly hard.

Shivering at the initial contact with his hand, sending jolts of heat through me that added to the increasing flame inside me. "Peeta, fuck!" I mumbled.

"Like that?" Peeta asked.

"Oh God, God yes!" I answered, his fingers surrounding me and pumping slowly. His grip on me was loose, and I wanted more. More friction, something more to add to my growing fire. "Peeta, please."

His hand left my aching cock, causing me to whimper. "Since you asked so nicely." Peeta's sultry voice was music to my ears. His lips wrapped around me, enveloping me in his heat, adding to my own. The fire inside me grew even hotter as his tongue slid around me.

I nearly lost it as he started to bob up and down on my length, his fingers sliding up my body to pinch my nipples. "Peeta, shit. Fucking God!" I was a babling mess, letting myself be lost to the heat that was building.

His tongue swept in circles around the head of my cock, sending heat through me. I didn't notice his hands were gone from my torso, until I felt him cup my balls, gently rolling them. The sounds he made around me were to much, the slick slurp and the muffled groans that sent vibrations down my cock and settled in my core.

I arched my back, my hands in his golden hair, "Peeta, I'm close!" His hand continued to play with my nuts, his tongue sliding down me, enveloping my length entirely. I pulled on his hair; a groan slipping from my lips as the fire inside me erupted shooting down his throat.

His hands continued to roll my balls, my cock still buried deep in his throat as I rode out my orgasm. Peeta let me slip from his lips, "Didn't want to make a mess in the sleeping bag."

"What?" I asked, not really catching what he said in my daze. I let myself recover before I noticed he had slipped my pants up again and was resting against my chest.

"What about you?" I asked, I could feel his hard on against me.

"I'll take the next watch. If I let you, I know I'd only fall asleep and leave us all vulnerable. I'll wake Clove in a couple hours. Go to sleep, Cato." Peeta whispered against my chest.

I felt guilty that he wouldn't let me return the favor, but I understood where he was coming from. Someone needed to be awake, and from what Peeta just did for me, all I wanted was sleep. Peeta's soft breath against my chest soothed me, and I let myself drift into unconsciousness.

* * *

I woke up to Clove shoving the two of us awake. "Get up, sleepy heads. Time to start our day. Oh, and this arrived a little bit ago. I didn't want to open it until we were all awake."

"Ung… huh?" I was still tired, having only gotten half a night's sleep. My eyes opened to the bright light of morning, Clove holding up a box attached to a silver parachute. Did the sponsors send us something? Peeta was still trying to stay asleep, his head against my chest refusing to move.

"Peeta, wake up. We got something from a sponsor!" Clove shouted excitedly.

His eyes shot open at the words and he crawled off of me, much to my dissatisfaction. Peeta and I climbed out of our sleeping bag to join Clove and open the gift. Initially we saw the note, 'Thanks for the show, the Capitol loved it.' Inside were three loaves of bread and a single glove.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Clove asked. My body was instantly catatonic. I was vaguely aware that Peeta went rigid as well. Thank God the blush that warmed my face was hidden behind my face mask. I had completely forgotten that everyone was watching us at every moment. "What did you two do?"

I was at a loss for words, having no idea how to tell her that Peeta basically gave me head not even 5 feet away from her while she slept.

"Seriously?" Clove exclaimed. I could see the inner school girl in her surfacing and her mind wandering. "You couldn't have at least woken me up to watch? So inconsiderate!"

I relaxed at her statement, even started to smile. I was happy the glove was here, and that Peeta and I wouldn't have to share one anymore, allowing both of us to keep our hands warm. I pulled the glove on and started walking towards the sleeping bag to roll it up. As I reached for it, a freak gust of wind blew it out of reach.

Recovering, I noticed the arrow lodged into the tree next to me. "We're under attack!" I shouted as I moved to the opposite side of the tree, "Everyone down!"

I had little time to think how lucky I was that the wind picked up right at that moment when I heard the ear piercing sound of the cannon firing. No, Peeta! Spinning to see the carnage, I caught the sight of Clove falling to the ground, an arrow lodged deeply in her eye.

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A/N: Ahhh, don't kill me for this. :( Hopefully you all 'enjoyed' this one, a little more happened in it, obviously... compared to my last which was just a bunch of walking and talking and a needed filler to explain things...

Please, don't hurt me. Enjoy the sex.


	17. Chapter 17

So the past couple days have been a little hectic. Sometimes real life just blows... This one was written over the course of a few days over a multitude of moods, so sorry if it seems kind of choppy.

Also, please do not ACTUALLY threaten my life. Pretty sure this message was kidding, but still. NOT COOL.

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I saw her blood splatter outwards at the arrows initial impact, and it sickened me watching my closest friend die before my eyes. Her limp form was laying against the ground, her blood slowly drawing a pool around her. If I was afraid to battle, I wasn't anymore. I could see my sword laying next to my sleeping bag, I could make it.

Darting from behind the tree, I jumped into a roll, trying to make my movements hard to follow. My warrior instinct was in full force. From how the arrow hit the tree, I had an idea of where the attacker was, avoiding the area and surrounding regions in case they had moved.

Springing from my somersault, I grabbed my sword and ducked behind a tree. "Cato." I heard Peeta whisper, his voice sounded terrified and soft.

"Stay there." I whispered, the sword swinging in my grasp, feeling its balanced weight in my hand. I moved slightly to the side to view the surroundings from behind the tree. I didn't hear anything, it was suspiciously quiet.

My vision went blank for a moment as I feel to the ground, feeling the initial impact of whatever hit me in the back of the head. Regaining my composure, I noticed there wasn't an arrow nearby. Or any weapon for that matter. Ducking behind a nearby tree, whoever attacked me must have come from behind, which meant I wasn't safe no matter where I was. I felt less vulnerable facing towards the invisible weapon and hiding from the deadly bow that struck down Clove.

Peeta scrambled from his position. Watching him run for cover, I noticed what looked like snowballs being launched at him. At least that gave me the position of the other attacker. They were attacking with snow? Granted there was an endless supply of it, but…

An icicle embedded itself against the tree near my head, making me jump. Whatever was launching this had some strength behind it. It wasn't someone simply chucking ice at us, it was being launched by something. It would be easier to take them out first, the archer could wait.

I eyed Peeta, "Stay." I simply said, my voice wasn't mine, and I was starting to fear what was happening to me, but it only lasted a minute as another barrage of ice bombarded us. Blocking it with my thick coat, I started my random course towards our attacker, cutting randomly and dodging attacks by jumping into bushes.

My sword gleamed in the early morning light as I ran, the light reflecting off of it as I somersaulted behind a tree. I rested for a moment, feeling the arrow's impact vibrate the trunk. Who ever the archer was, they must have been tracking the light my sword was giving off from the sun.

My sword was to large to cover with anything. I felt myself over for something that might be able to distract the archer. Something shiny. The marble was heavy in my pocket, I pulled it out, feeling some remorse before throwing it. I saw another arrow follow it, striking the tree behind.

This was my chance, I jumped into action, running towards the launching ice. Another bombardment of icicles flung through the air, rolloing to the ground to avoid the brunt of it, my torso taking the blow instead of my face. The ice struck me hard in the back, but bounced off my thick garments. Landing my tumble, I knew it had to be now or never. I'd never make it if I took the time to stop.

Knowing the person launching the frozen assault was growing closer, I jumped from behind a bush, my sword glimmering in the sunlight.

"Katniss!" I heard the screech as my sword found its target. The dark haired girl's blood splattered against me and the icy ground. She dropped what appeared to be a slingshot as she fell, her life slowly fading as I pulled my weapon from her. I stood, watching her blood flow, revealing in my kill.

The sound of the cannon, signaling the girl's death filled the air, as I swung my sword, watching her blood splatter in a line from it. "Rue!" I heard a distant voice and the noise of thrashing through the forest.

Katniss. If I didn't have a vengeance before, I did now. I hid behind a tree, waiting for her arival. My blood splattered sword raised high as I waited for her clumsy and emotion filled approach.

There was a second person storming through the forest in my direction. I partially lowered my blade, thinking that two people would be harder to fight at once. Stepping into partial cover from the thick brush, I waited for the two to arrive.

Katniss was first, her form entering the clearing to find Rue's bloody corpse, a thick pool of red surrounding her already. "I'm so sorry, Rue. This is all my fault" Katniss whispered, I barely caught it over the rustling that was approaching.

Katniss looked defeated, her slouched form knelt before the young girls body, her bow lazily held in her hand. Her mind must have been on Rue, for she seemed unaware of the noise following her. Or it was another of her allies, and she felt safe. Perhaps Glimmer, they seemed fond of each other. Clove's voice, 'Never thought I'd see those three together.' entered my thoughts.

Peeta burst into the clearing, tackling Katniss to the ground. They wrestled in the blood-snow mixture, Katniss gaining the upper hand. She seemed to have caught him in a headlock, but he grabbed her by the arms and flipped her over his body, breaking the hold. I never noticed the strength the boy possessed, always thinking more of him as a talker than a fighter. It was obvious the boy could hold his own.

Katniss recovered, trying to pull an arrow from her quiver. Peeta was faster, crashing his fist into her face. She spiraled to the ground, her bow dropped to the side. He was on top of her, a dagger pulled from his belt, _Clove's Dagger_. He held it to her neck, the scene familiar. Katniss always seemed to be pinned to the ground, a dagger to her neck.

"Going to kill me now?" Katniss asked, "After everything we've been through? I kept you alive here."

"You left me for dead." Peeta hissed back, "Ignored me my whole life!"

"What did you want me to say?" Katniss glared back, "That I never forgot what you did for me? That because of it, I could never get you out of my head?"

Peeta's hold on her seemed to loosen. "What are you talking about?" His voice soft.

"I never forgot! How could I? You made me fall in love with you!" she was shouting now, "Then I find out I never had a fucking chance. Not as long as _Cato_ was in the picture." The sound of my name was filled with hatred. I really should make my presence noticed, but something kept me glued to my position.

Peeta completely relaxed against her, his knife dropping out of his hand. "What about Gale?"

"I never liked for Gale, he was a hunting partner." Katniss answered, still struggling under Peeta's weight. "He always knew it was you that had me."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Peeta answered, his hold on her returning, pinning her to the ground with force. "Why did you ignore me, act like you hated me?"

I didn't want to listen anymore, the horror of the situation dawning on me. If I wasn't in the picture, would Peeta really have fallen in love with her? Was I just second place? The beginnings of the mask's presence that haunted me at Clove's death were starting to spread across me, filling me with the heart wrenching realization that Peeta was using me.

"I never knew what to say!" Katniss answered, Peeta's forearm against her neck caused her breathing to be labored, irregular.

"Even when we were both reaped!" Peeta shouted, "You still never said a single word to me."

"It was too hard to think about… Even if we had the chance to go home, it still put us back at square one." Katniss whispered, tears filling her eyes. Her voice was chopped from her straining.

I heard enough, stepping from my hiding place and entering the clearing. "Kill her, Peeta."

He jumped at hearing my voice, losing his hold on her. She spun, taking advantage of it and pushing him off her. Grabbing her bow, she ran off into the forest away from us.

"Dammit Cato!" Peeta shouted at me.

"What was that?" I asked, my voice wasn't mine and I feared what was coming.

"You heard all that?" he asked in almost a whimper. My gaze was cold, maybe even colder than our surroundings. He seemed unhinged.

"Why didn't you kill her?" I asked.

"I couldn't, not after what she said…" Peeta answered sheepishly.

"Do you love her?" I was being blunt, and I tried to will it all away.

"It's just, I don't know. I didn't know she felt that way about me." Peeta answered.

"Do you LOVE HER?" I shouted at him, and he backed away from me. I wanted to stop myself, seeing the fear in his eyes. The fear that was caused by me, but I couldn't. My anger was taking over and I couldn't stop it. "Was I just the second option and you'd throw me away without a second thought?"

"No, Cato. I would never do that!" Peeta defended himself.

"Then why didn't you kill her!" My mind was racing, the anger overwhelming. "She fucking killed Clove! Or have you forgotten about that?"

"No, I haven't forgotten!" Peeta shouted back, his anger starting to rise as well. "And no, I don't love her. I told you how I felt about her yesterday! Or have _you_ forgotten about _that_?"

I stopped, but my anger was continuing to rise, my mask forcing itself back.

"And it fucking hurt to watch you throw something that reminds you of me away so easily." His marble. I had used it as a distraction, but that was life or death. "Yeah, I saw that. Watched you throw something you told me represented a piece of me. It hurts even more because you know how much that marble meant to me as well. How am I supposed to feel about that?"

"That's different." I answered, "It was life or death, if I hadn't, we'd both be dead."

"It's not, Cato!" Peeta answered. "I understand why you did, but I wasn't going to throw it in your face like you are! I thought you knew me better!"

I watched him walk away, stopping to pick up the black sphere before continuing on. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions, I knew that he and Katniss had a strange past that seemed to revolve around each other. Maybe I was being paranoid and a bit jealous.

I walked back to the clearing, seeing Clove's body. The arrow was sticking straight up out of her skull, dark crimson spilling from her eye to pool around her body. Her motionless frame brought tears to my eyes, pushing the mask away. Kneeling next to her, I cupped her head in my hands and let the tears come.

Dammit Clove, why did you have to leave me? I pulled her face close to mine, kissing her forehead for the last time. Without you here, who's going to keep me from being the monster inside? Who's going to help me fix everything and put me back together? Will Peeta ever forgive me? I can't do this on my own. Then it hit me, once again, I was completely alone and it was all my fault.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this one, because I was having issues with how it ended... Whatever, I'm probably just being over critical on myself again. Since this next week is going to be hell for me, I most likely won't be able to post anything until after. Unless I get super carried away again and pump out a few this weekend before it all starts. Love you all!


	18. Chapter 18

I can't take any more Biology. If I have to look at one more intensive metabolic process, I'll probably end up committing homicide. So, I took a break and wrote this. Yay!

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The Capitol was probably about to send the wolves after me if I didn't move soon, but I didn't care. They wouldn't take Clove away from me. It was too much. Pushing Peeta away was a mistake. It seems to be the thing I do best: pushing people away. I thought I was making progress, but I didn't make it anywhere. The memories of the mask trying to push itself back on me reminded me of that. One monster into another, it was stupid.

I had nothing anymore. Clove was gone and Peeta left me because I'll never learn. No, I will. I will learn if it's the last thing I do. I won't let myself push anyone else away. I'll fight the masks' hold on me, for Clove and Peeta.

"I figured I'd still find you here."

"Peeta?" He was leaning against a tree running his finger along Clove's blade. "Why did you come back?"

"Don't be an idiot," his voice held a more serious tone. "Did you really think you could push me away that easily? Plus, I had no where else to go."

"But, Katniss…" The way he held himself was so much stronger than I was. How could he, the baker boy, handle himself better than the warrior?

"Lapse in judgment. It doesn't change anything." Moving from the tree, he approached me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Cato."

For what? It was all my fault, we both knew that. He shouldn't be the one apologizing. "For Clove. I'm sorry she was taken from you. I won't leave you alone to deal with that, even though you are an asshole at times."

"Tell me about it." I agreed, "I don't like that part of me."

His hand ran circles on my shoulder, even through all the snow gear, I could feel the faint heat radiate though me. Leaning into his touch, I reached one hand back to grasp his, waiting for him to say something, anything. Although it was still my turn to talk, to apologize, but I couldn't right now. Not with Clove's lifeless form in my hand.

"You have to let her go." Peeta whispered, pulling his hand from mine. Our gazes met, my neck hurting from the strain I put on it to see him. He sat down next to me, draping an arm across my shoulders. I wanted him to sweep me away from this nightmare. I knew I had to let Clove go, she wouldn't want me to dwell on this. If she could see me, I'm sure she'd be slapping me and telling me to get my shit together.

"I'm sorry." I finally admitted. Part of me knew she was watching and was smiling her school girl smile down at me.

"I know." Peeta answered. "You need to work on it though, one of these times I'm not going to come back. The only reason I came back this time is because of Clove. And she's also the only reason I can forgive you right now."

He held me for a few more minutes before standing. "We really should leave. Let them come and get her."

"You're probably right." I stood up, letting Clove's head gently fall back the earth. I didn't want to leave her, hoping somehow she would stand up and lecture me about how big of an idiot I am. Walking deeper into the woods, I never turned back to see her taken away. It was to painful to watch.

* * *

"Is it getting warmer or did I just get used to the cold?" Peeta asked as we walked through the woods. I didn't notice at first, but it did get warmer. The woods were filled with the sound of water droplets hitting the ground. What are the game-makers getting at?

"I think you're right." Our trek through the woods was becoming exhausting. "Starting to break a sweat under all these clothes."

"Maybe we should take a break, no sense in moving further than we have to." Peeta stopped, dropping the packs we gathered before leaving Clove. "Plus, we haven't eaten yet today, and it's what? Almost 5?"

Looking into the sky, I was blinded by the sun's intensity. It seemed brighter, and I couldn't pinpoint it's position, the whole sky lit by its radiance. "I can't tell. But the sun seems stronger. Might explain why it's so warm."

His warm laugh returned. I didn't know what was funny, but it was nice to hear him sound happy again.

"Here." In his outstretched hand was a loaf of bread. "Clove would have wanted you to have hers."

Silently, I took it from him and sat next to him. "Did you want to talk about her? Honor her somehow?"

"What is there to say?" I replied. There really wasn't anything to say. She was gone, and saying a few words wouldn't change it.

"It would help for closure." Peeta answered, "When I first met her, she intimidated me. After I got to know her, I knew deep down inside her was one of the sweetest girls I ever met. She put her heart into everything she did."

"Sweet? She was a murdering machine." I scoffed. Peeta didn't look amused by my statement.

"Dammit, Cato." Peeta mumbled, "Could you at least try? I'm sure it would help you."

"I don't want it to help." I answered back, "I don't want to accept her death. It would only lead to me forgetting about her. I won't let it happen."

"You'll never forget Clove. She isn't exactly the easiest person to forget." Peeta answered. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I'd deal with it in my own way, and Peeta's forcing me was starting to irritate me.

Fidgeting with the bread in my hand, I heard him say, "Take these."

Looking up to him, he had Clove's dagger and the black marble in his hands. "Something to remind you of both of us. Use her knife like you use my marble."

"Don't talk like that, you sound like you're giving up."

"I'm not giving up," His eyes softened and he turned his gaze to the ground. "Just a precaution, Cato. If I do die, I want you to live. And remember me."

"Are you sure you even want to give that back to me?" I asked, "After what I did with it?"

"A lapse in your judgement, just like mine with Katniss. I believe neither will happen again." Peeta answered, blue eyes meeting mine. I took both objects from him, sliding the dagger into my belt and marble into my pocket.

"Do you think you could really do it?" I asked, "I mean, kill her? I know you could, I saw you fight her, you have strength and some pretty good wrestling skills… But when the time comes, would you kill her?"

"Yes." He answered, "I have to."

The sun began to set, and Peeta's visible features seemed magnified with sorrow. Of course he didn't want to kill Katniss, but he had to. If the option arises, I won't let him. I'll do her in myself and save him from the pain it would cause.

"And then there were seven." I heard him say. "Who does that leave us with? You and me. Katniss, Glimmer, I think, Alex, Surge, and Thresh. Kinda surprised Glimmer made it this long."

It's only been three days... Wait? Has it only been three days? It seems like so much longer. Most of these games are stretched out a bit longer, maybe the Capitol was growing impatient? It couldn't be. There was enough action already.

He leaned against me, "With the remaining tributes, I don't think the odds are really in my favor. There's you, Katniss, and Thresh who are forces to be reckoned with. I don't know much of Alex and Surges skills. Where do I fit in here? I don't have anything that stands out."

"Knock it off." I answered, pulling him in closer. "You surprised me today. I thought your biggest strength was talking, making people like you. I didn't know you were as strong as you are, and you know how to use it. Don't cut yourself short."

"Are you really trying to cheer me up?" his snicker drew me from my mental admiration. Looking down, I caught the last glimpse of his eyes before we were encased in the darkness of night. "Brutal, bloody, Cato going all guidance counselor on me. I'm impressed."

"Shut up." I answered, but I could feel the smile spreading across my face. The anthem started, drawing both of our attentions. The sky instantly filled with Clove's picture and my heart sank. Finally letting it sink in that she was gone with no hope of returning. Her picture changed to the young girl Rue before cutting out and returning the darkness. No moon tonight. Nothing was ever predictable here.

I heard his gentle breathing against me and noticed Peeta had fallen asleep, his head rested on my shoulder. I guess I was first on watch tonight.

It was definitely getting warmer. With all the clothing on and Peeta's warm body against me I was starting to roast. We very well may have gotten heat stroke if he were in our sleeping bag. What were the game-makers planning? It didn't make any sense.

My thoughts on the Capitol's plans filled my time. Peeta rolled away from me and I was slightly relieved at the sudden lack of warmth that was starting to boil me alive, but disappointed as the internal fire he fueled died down as well.

"Christ, it's hot." Peeta broke between the echoing wolves. The sound of his zipper filled the air and the rustling of clothing as he partially pulled his snow jacket off. "How are we supposed to sleep like this?

"How long was I out?"

"Not sure, got lost in my thoughts. I'm guessing a few hours, maybe?"

"You catch some sleep, I'll take the watch till morning." Peeta spoke.

"Are you sure? For all I know, you could have only been asleep for a half hour."

"I'll be fine." Peeta answered. I wasn't going to question it any further, feeling the need to shut my thoughts off. Something only a dead sleep could help with. Rolling over, I rested my head on his lap and tried to sleep, feeling my eyes grow heavy.

* * *

"Shit! Wake up Cato!" Peeta shook me awake.

Sitting upright, I instinctively reached for my sword gleaming in the early morning sun. "What?"

"Run!" He shouted, grabbing his pack before pulling me hastily to my feet and ran to grab the second pack.

"What's goin…" The sound of ice cracking answered my question before I could even ask it. "But how?"

"The sudden heat change must have caused the ice to break apart!" Peeta shouted, throwing the pack to me. "Come on, we've got to move!"

The ground suddenly shifted, a fissure appearing between the two of us as chunks of ice and snow fell into the crack. The sudden shift had me on my face looking down the jagged gap between us.

"Cato!" Peeta shouted, grabbing onto a nearby tree to keep himself from falling.

I stared into the pit. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing, as if the whole arena was a floating block of ice.

"Peeta..." My fear began to build as I stared into the empty void bellow. Looking up, I saw his side of the fissure begin to slant towards me and dip lower. Rocks and ice slid down the incline into the bottomless trench and I saw him struggling to keep his balance on the shifting ground.

It happened so fast. Watching him, he slipped on the slick ground and slide down the steadily increasing incline towards the mouth of the fissure. His arms flailed, trying to find purchase on anything to hold onto.

"Cato! Help!"

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A/N: Lots of talking in this chapter, blah blah blah. Things are about to go down, obviously. Hope you enjoyed! Leave me some love.


	19. Chapter 19

Oh my, I do have some very passionate fans! You guys are amazing! It really makes me happy that all of you are getting so involved with Cato and Peeta in my story, it means I'm doing something right! Thank you again to everyone who reviews. You all make my day.

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Could this really be happening? I was frozen by the horror in front of me. Peeta sliding down the slope, having nothing to hold onto, falling towards the nothingness bellow. His gloves seemed to come off, not sure when it happened, but I could see his bare skin against his jacket.

"Cato!" His scream pulled me from my thoughts. I have to do something, I can't just stand around and watch him die. Not when we were so close to the end. Wait, I had rope. I remember going through the packs two days ago. I was sure there was rope in my pack. I just hope I had the right one and the one on Peeta's side didn't have it.

He approached the edge of the chasm and I couldn't tear myself away from him. His boots dug into the edge and he pushed off, launching himself to the opposite side. The ice, it's going to be to slippery for him and he was going to die, and it would be all my fault because I couldn't move fast enough. This isn't happening.

I tore my eyes away from him as he connected with the wall. I couldn't watch him die. Part of me thought maybe if I didn't watch it, it never happened. That when I opened my eyes he'd be standing there in front of me, his same grin and blue eyes staring back. All the memories we had together, how we met, the feeling he gave me, the orange that symbolized our growing relationship. Our first fight and my first apology ever to him as he beat relentlessly at the punching bag, wishing it was me. How we made love the first time, only to be torn apart. But fate wouldn't let that happen. We found each other again, and this wouldn't be the last time. Fate would find its way. It had to. It seemed everything was pushing the two of us together, and it wouldn't end like this. It couldn't.

"Cato! I can't hold on much longer! I'm starting to slip!" His shout tore me from my thoughts, and I was aware of the dampened clothing surrounding my eyes. Looking over the edge, I saw his bloody hands grasping to the wall, scratched and beaten by the ice until he found purchase on rock. "Cato, please!"

His eyes were terrified, looking as if I'd let him fall if I had the chance. It hurt that he seemed to be pleading for his life with me, like I wasn't going to give him the option to continue. Dammit, Cato. Get a hold of yourself, he isn't dead and just sitting here isn't helping! Find the bag, find the rope!

"Hold on! I'm going to find something to help." I shouted, sliding back to my discarded pack, ripping it open as the items inside scattered. The bread flew, one falling off the edge. The other items falling at my feet: sleeping bag, bread, flashlight, ROPE!

"Grab on!" I shouted as I threw an end down to him. Dammit, it was to short. It didn't reach him, being on inches out of his grasp. "No! Don't move!"

"I can get it!" Peeta shouted, trying to reach at the extended rope.

"You'll lose your hold!" I answered back. I fell to my stomach and draped partially over the edge, giving him the extra length he needed to grab on. "Keep your feet against the wall, I'm gonna try to stand to help pull you up!"

"There's a little slack, I'm gonna try to tie it around me."

"Wait! Not yet, let me stand first, I can hold you up better." I tried to stand and noticed the sickening sound of ice cracking around me. Looking down, I noticed our combined weight on me was causing the edge to crumble.

"No time! The edge is giving out, I have to pull you up now!" my voice rang out and I heard more crashing as our surroundings collapsed into the void beneath. The trees towering in the distance began to sink into the horizon. "Peeta, hold on!"

I pulled with everything I was worth, stepping away from the cracking ice as Peeta rose from the depth. I lost sight of him, but the cracking of ice was too much of a risk. If it let out, we'd both be falling to our deaths.

"Almost there!" Peeta's voice was coarse and broken from the strain.

My eyes closed as I tugged the rope, starting to feel the fatigue but pushing through. He was almost back in my arms. Cracking ice brought me back to reality, opening my eyes to watch the edge collapse.

"Peeta!" I shouted as I heard his muffled groan. Standing steadfast, I waited for a reply, but none came. "Peeta?"

Silence, but the rope still held weight on the other end. I didn't dare peek over as long as he was on the other end. I pulled on the rope, finding it more difficult than ever. I was pulling alone, Peeta no longer helping anymore and my heart started to sink.

Panicking, I wanted to look over the edge, but that would only mean I'd have to let him fall back down. Grabbing onto it with my hand, I let it slack and pulled myself closer without losing tension. Nearing the edge, all I wanted was to hear him call my name one more time. Did the cannon fire? Was I to busy to notice it? Maybe it was drowned out by the crumbling arena? Maybe he's still alive! Why isn't he answering me? How is he still holding on?

I neared the edge and saw his dangling form on the other end. He must have succeeded in tying himself to it, his limp frame dangling, held up by the loop around his waist. He couldn't be dead. The cannon never fired! I felt my tears start again as I started to pull him up again. Even if he was, I wouldn't let him fall into nothingness.

As he neared me, I noticed his face mask was torn and blood dripping down from his face. Oh God, Peeta. Please be alright. You have to be. The ice was cracking again, but I didn't care. Peeta would be back in my arms, dead or alive.

Reaching the edge, I pulled his lifeless form over it. Dragging him a few feet away from the edge. Ripping my glove off, I felt for a pulse. It was faint, but there was one. He was still alive! My tears started flooding again knowing he wasn't dead. There was a scratch down his face, most likely from the falling ice.

More cracking. Give me a break! This time the trees nearby started to sink. We couldn't stay here. "Peeta! Wake up!" I gently nudged him, trying to coax him back to reality. "We can't stay here! Please Peeta!"

Suddenly, I felt in motion despite sitting over Peeta. It wasn't only the trees sinking, we were too. Fuck! Scooping Peeta up, limp form drapped across my arms I stood and began to run.

I didn't make it far, finding myself in the same situation as before. A deep fissure between us and safety. "Dammit, Peeta. Please wake up!" I shouted. I was being optimistic, and knew I wouldn't get an answer. It was to hard to run with him like this. Readjusting him, I placed him over my shoulder, freeing one of my hands and giving me more room to maneuver.

The gap was widening, it was now or never. Holding Peeta close to me, I jumped the chasm safely landing on the other end. I shot back, watching the world behind me collapse. Trees and snow falling into the giant black hole trying to swallow us all.

I didn't have time for this. Keep your eyes on the target, get Peeta to safety. The whole arena can't collapse, what would be the point in that? Did the Capitol suddenly think that none of us were worthy to be a champion or something?

Questions could wait. Pulling myself back to reality, I pushed forward, Peeta dangling at my side. I dodged the cracks and opening gaps appearing before me, hoping that somehow there was an end to it. My thoughts back to the first day with Clove flooded me as I ran.

We had ran onto the ice and felt the cracking. At the time, we thought it was over a lake or something. If the ice had swallowed us, would we have fallen into the pit? Or would there have been water?

Pain broke my thoughts, the tree branches angrily slapping at my face, tearing my face mask and drawing blood. The whole arena seemed like it was trying to make sure we fell to our deaths.

We tore out of the forest, the frozen land still breaking apart as I ran. The frosty tundra was barren except for the mountain that climbed back to the cornucopia. Then it hit me, the Capitol was trying to draw us all together. Then what? There was still seven of us left? It's to early for the finale!

"Mmm…"

"Peeta?" I shouted, feeling my legs grow numb. It was hard enough running this far on my own, much less with Peeta's added weight. I wasn't going to give up though, not until we were both there. The rocky mountain would be our sanctuary. The rocks wouldn't break apart like the ice does. At least I hope.

"Cato?" Peeta whispered, "My head hurts…"

"Hang in there, we're almost safe!" I shouted back. More so to reassure myself than for him.

Reaching the base of the mountain, I let him slide from my back to the ground. "I think we're safe."

"What happened?" he asked, looking down at his hands, beaten and bloody from clinging to the icy wall.

"Don't think I really need to explain," waving a hand behind us, "Just look."

The whole arena was falling, bits and pieces still extending its cold fingers across the tundra. The forest was no longer in site, having been swallowed by the cold void. His expression was blank, watching the cloudy mist take over our view. Almost the whole arena had collapsed in on us.

Falling on my back, I let fatigue set in. "How's your head?" I asked. My whole body was numb, I wanted to reach up and touch his blood marred face, but couldn't will my limbs to life.

"Been better. Last thing I remember is tying myself to the rope." His gaze met mine, his blue eyes contrasting the drying red covering him. "Then I woke up to you running like a mad man."

"And thank God for that." My eyes strained to stay open. A blanket of mist covering the horizon, masking the horror taking place. From the sounds of it, was still very much happening. Crushing blasts of ice breaking free from one another filled the air with a terrifying volume.

"Take a break Cato, you look like death." Peeta answered, tentatively checking the gash running down his cheek.

"Look who's talking." I answered, willing myself to move but failing. "I can't, you're in no condition to take watch."

"I'll be alright, I've had worse." His eyes dilated as he spoke letting me know he was lying.

"Seriously, take a break." He whispered, catching my concern. He crawled closer to me and pulled my head onto his lap. "If only for an hour to catch your wind."

"Wake me if anything happens." I was in no position to argue, my body refusing to move. Accepting the offer, I rested against his thigh, his hands gently playing with the hair at my nape. We'd lost everything in my haste: my sword, our packs and all their contents. We still had each other, and the heavy blade at my side reminded me Clove was still watching over us. All that mattered was Peeta was here with me and the nightmare was behind us for now, and I'd need my strength for the nightmare to come.

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A/N: Howdy doo! Now y'all can rest assured that Peeta is safe again. Leave me some love!


	20. Chapter 20

Yay! I'm pretty much finished with my college career! Just one more exam and I'm all done! So I decided to sit and write for a bit. Enjoy

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Ear piercing screams filled the air, drawing me from my sleep in a painful jolt. Peeta had his head in his hands softly moaning in pain. Somehow I thought the nightmare was over, that when I woke up everything would be different. I didn't expect to wake up to a completely new and more terrifying hell.

"Peeta?" I pulled him closer, but he pushed my arm away. "Whats wrong?"

"They've been screaming all morning." His eyes shut tight and his body trembling, "My head can't take it anymore! I feel like I'm going insane!"

The mist started to fade and behind it was nothing as far as the eye could see. It seemed to outstretch in every direction around the cornucopia. But why did the screams sound like they were coming from nothing?

"Peeta, look at me." His eyes finding mine for only a moment before disappearing behind his beaten hands. Resting my hand on his shoulder, "Peeta, please."

He finally held my gaze. The four days we have been here put its strain on him. He looks like he aged 10 years, and the open gash down his cheek didn't help anything. "You're not going insane. I won't let you. Let me be your anchor."

"Cato, I can't. My head is fuzzy." Peeta answered, "Everything is cloudy. And I wish Clove would just shut up!"

His sudden outburst into the void scared me. Clove? What is he talking about? "Please Cato, make her be quiet! Make them all stop!" his hands shooting up to his ears. The screaming was growing, all of them synchronizing and sweeping across the arena, giving the void an even more hellish atmosphere.

It was hard to separate the screams from each other, but once I did I knew exactly what Peeta was talking about. If he was going insane, then so was I. The unmistakable sound of Clove filled the air, her screams of agony haunting us even after her demise. How was it possible?

Peeta cringed as every shriek filled the air. What was the Capitol up to this time? "Peeta, we should move, maybe we can escape the noise if we move up higher."

He wasn't moving, only rocking back in forth in the fetal position: his hands covering his ears. I've never seen him this broken before. "Peeta, come on. It's worth a try."

We couldn't stay here. It would only mess with our heads further and leave us vulnerable. I had to somehow move him further up the mountain. Not only for our mental health, but sitting out here in the open made us sitting ducks. Even more so now that the arena only consisted of the mountain.

I'd have to carry him if he wasn't going to walk himself. "Peeta, please. I'll carry you if I have to."

His head swung even lower, shaking it side to side trying to tune out the screams. I didn't have a choice, scooping one arm under his knees and lifting, my left hand catching him around his shoulders. Blue eyes opened, questioning my intentions.

"We have to move, Peeta." I felt like I was on repeat, but nothing seemed to be sinking in. The Capitol really did turn this into a living hell. Not only was I fighting for my life, but they took Peeta's sanity and Clove away from me.

Starting my ascent up the mountain, I tried to lose myself in my thoughts to drown out the constant screeching. My only happy memory was with Peeta: our first time. The other thoughts involved Clove and were too hard to think about with her voice ringing in my ears.

* * *

Our ascent was difficult. It seemed the mountain had become steeper than I remembered. Peeta seemed to have grown less anxious, sinking into my arms and letting his arms dangle at his side. It started to snow again, and our path for the last hour was covered in a thick blanket of it.

"I'm okay, you can put me down Cato." His whisper seemed unsure.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I wanted to lighten the mood a little, fix Peeta and bring back the one I fell for. "I don't know, I kinda like you in my arms like this."

He didn't seem amused. "Cato, just put me down."

Stopping, I set his feet on the ground and let him walk away from me. "I'm sorry, my heads just all scrambled right now."

"Well, you did hit it pretty hard. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, just a little confused." Peeta answered. "And I've got sort of an anxiety problem at the moment, but I think it's getting better."

It must have been, the screeching across the arena wasn't getting any quieter, but at least we weren't out in the open any more. "You want to take a break?"

"Just for a moment, if that's okay." He answered, letting himself fall to the ground. "I'm just so exhausted."

"Take a nap, give yourself some time to relax." His eyes almost instantly shut and he slumped against an icy rock. "I'm gonna see if I can find something to eat. I know it's a long shot, but we have to eat something."

He didn't say anything, only nodding to me as I left him in search of food. As I walked, the dreadful screams grew louder. Trying to clear my head from their noise, I caught sight of my breath. It was getting cold again. The temperature was dropping and this time, when night came, we'd be forced to face them without protection.

"God dammit! Shut up!" I shouted, throwing a clump of snow in the distance.

What? The screaming stopped. Did it actually work? Slowly approaching, I pulled Clove's dagger from my belt. A bird suddenly appeared, perching on top of a rock. I didn't want to move, my aim wasn't as good as Clove's, but I had to at least try.

I readied my hand, making sure my aim was on target. Sudden terror filled me as Clove's blood curdling scream radiated from the bird. This wasn't an ordinary bird. I remember hearing about them, but I couldn't remember their name at the moment. It was some kind of genetically engineered mutt that could mimic people's voices. The Capitol was throwing everything they had to unhinge us.

The bird fell to the ground, Clove's dagger buried deep. Her scream faded until only the echo remained, losing volume every time it bounced off the landscape. Clove would have wanted it to be this way, her dagger to take out her mutt.

I grabbed the bird, looking it over. It was large, enough for both me and Peeta to have a meal. But how was I going to cook it? The trees were gone, and a fire would be too risky, not that we could make or even start one anyway.

The other screams started, filling the sky with their dreadful harmony. At least Clove's voice no longer sang with them. Walking back to camp, I noticed without Clove's voice the others became clearer. I could pick out Cassie's voice. The more I listened, the more it dawned on me that the fallen tributes were the symphony.

At least Clove wasn't a part of it anymore. It made me feel a little better that her pained shouts wouldn't haunt us any longer. I approached our camp, finding Peeta still resting against the rock.

"Look what I found." I threw it on the ground for him to see, its blood quickly staining the snow.

"A Jabberjay?" his eyes dawning at what it meant.

"Not just any. Clove's." he seemed to relax at it.

"So her screams won't be filling the sky anymore?"

"I hope not." The thought seemed to calm him slightly. "But the other tributes are still there."

"I know. I didn't hear Clove's anymore and could pick out the other tributes with hers gone."

"Can we eat this thing?" I asked. I didn't know much about Jabberjays aside from their harsh tongues.

"Maybe if we cooked it, but I would recommend eating anything the Capitol genetically created." Peeta answered, trying to stand.

I dropped down to his side, feeling the marble in my pocket. "Here, take this. You could use it more than me at the moment."

Handing it to him, I could see his eyes linger on the black sphere. "I can't. It's yours."

"Then I'm letting you borrow it. Try to see if it'll help clear your head." I left it in his scratched palm. "Lemme look at your face and hands."

I pulled back part of his face mask, finding it sticking to his wound. He winced as the cloth pulled free revealing the angry scratch.

"This will probably hurt for a moment." I whispered, grabbing some snow and trying to clean the dried blood from his face. He whimpered as I brushed his face, watching his pale skin return. His wound didn't look as bad when it was cleaned. It would leave a scar, but it wasn't all that deep.

"How are your hands?" eyeing his red hands.

"They'll be fine." Peeta answered, "Quit doting on me, Cato."

He grinned up at me before finishing, "Carrying me bridal style and doting on me, I'm not your poor hurt husband."

"I'm just concerned." His grin turned into a laugh as he gently laid his head against me. It was nice to see Peeta starting to be himself again.

"I'll be fine, Cato." He whispered.

I let him rest against me for a moment. "Should we get going?" he asked, blue eyes meeting mine.

"I suppose." I answered. He pulled himself away from me as I stood.

"Maybe we should keep this with us, just in case we get desperate enough to eat it." I said, picking up the Jabberjay and holding it towards him.

"I don't think I'd ever be desperate enough to eat Clove." Peeta smirked.

"Haha, very funny." I answered. He did make a good point though; it kind of would be like eating Clove.

"Come on, wise guy." I started, "Get up. Lets ge—"

"Cato!" Peeta was on his feet instantly.

What was going on? My whole body suddenly frozen and numb. I forced myself to look down, finding a familiar arrowhead jutting from my shoulder.

"Peeta?" The sudden pain flooded through me. White hot pain. Peeta was running towards me as I fell to the ground.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed.


	21. Chapter 21

Pain seemed to be the only thing left of me. At least it let me know I was still alive. I could feel every movement I made cause ripping pain to tear through me. The soft blanket of snow under me was slowly turning to red mush.

"Cato!" Peeta's voice. Was I still alive? I had to be, this kind of pain couldn't be real. Or maybe I moved from one hell to another. It couldn't be that bad if Peeta was here too. Wait, if Peeta was here, did she get to him to?

Opening my eyes, I saw Peeta running towards me. No, this was still real. Daring a look down, I saw Katniss' arrow point jutting from my shoulder. The sight made my head spin and my arms tremble, only shooting more pain through me.

He was at my side now, comforting me. "Cato! You're going to be okay!" Right, thanks for the comforting words Peeta, but let's be honest. His hands were cold against me, smoothing my hair down.

"I've got to move you." No, don't do that. You don't move the injured. Although, I suppose I did the same for you just this morning. "She's climbing her way up. I need to make sure you're safe."

Reaching up, I touched his face with my uninjured arm. I couldn't just leave him here. Why was I giving up so easily? This isn't me. The Cato I once was could take a hit like this and still fight off an army.

"Don't worry about me," wincing in pain, I forced myself to sit up, "I can move, you prepare for the fight."

I reached for Clove's knife and handed it to him, patting his hand as he took it from me. It was the only weapon we had. Crawling my way to the ice wall Peeta and I had lain against earlier. The overhang shading the spot grew larger as dusk approached.

"You can do this Peeta." I cringed, leaning my good shoulder against the ice. He nodded to me and turned back as Katniss appeared in the clearing, her bow ready as she took the last step to our level.

"Out of my way, Peeta." Katniss hissed, her bow trained on me; Peeta blocking her aim. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You're gonna have to if you want to get to him." Peeta shouted, brandishing his knife at her. "Haven't you already done enough damage? First you kill Clove right in front of me, now you're trying to kill Cato."

"I'm doing what I have to do!" Katniss shouted back.

"No, you're doing what you WANT to do in order to get to me." Peeta's words unhinged Katniss as they echoed across the mountain. The Jabberjay's harmony having seized at the excitement before them. "Otherwise you would have killed me too."

"Haven't you gotten it yet? I can't kill you!" Katniss answer was harsh. "How do you kill someone you've loved for so long?"

"You don't love me, Katniss." Peeta hissed, "You only love the idea of me. You loved the idea that someone cared enough to save you. You never knew me! You never tried."

No one spoke, the silence filling the icy cliffs around us. I looked down to the ground, not wanting to watch the scene before me incase everything went wrong. If Peeta were to fail, I'd undoubtedly be killed. I didn't want my last memory to be an arrow shooting through him.

The cannon shot, ripping pain through me as I jumped. Snow fell from above us, my eyes darting towards the two. As the snow settled, both seemed to be unbothered by the noise. Peeta? Are you still alive? Oh Christ, you have to be. I was crawling to my feet before I knew what was happening.

"Stay there, Cato. It wasn't me." Peeta's voice was hard to hear, his back turned to me eyeing Katniss.

"So then what is this?" Katniss spoke, "A stalemate? Are the three of us just going to stand here while the other tributes kill each other?"

She had a point. Peeta didn't look like he was going to back down from protecting me. Katniss was not going to kill him, and I wasn't any help at the moment.

"Peeta." I tried to speak, but found it difficult through clenched teeth. "Now's the time to choose."

We talked about it earlier, if he'd be able to kill her. He said he could, but the latter part of my question was never answered. Would he? His posture tightened, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

"Are you going to kill me?" Katniss broke the following silence. "Is that what he's talking about? To choose me or him? All three of us know who you've already chosen."

"Fuck you, Katniss." Peeta's anger seemed to radiate off him. Even from the distance, I could feel its strength. "You think this is easy? Even though you've taken everything away from me the past couple days, it doesn't erase the past and how much I looked up to you."

"Then make it easier for yourself!" Katniss answered lowering her bow. "Kill me, I've already done my work! Cato's injury assures you'll win! I never planned on winning, only giving you that chance."

"Dammit, Katniss! If it was all for me, then why hurt me every chance you could?" His shout rang across the mountains, and more snow fell from above. "And now you're trying to take away the only thing I've ever loved."

Did he say he loved me? Did he really mean it? His sudden lunge at her caught her off guard, and the two spun to the ground. Peeta easily gained the upper hand: she barely tried to defend herself.

Katniss scream echoed as Peeta dug Clove's dagger into her thigh. She pushed at him, trying to pull away from the pain. "Did you really think I'd make it quick?" Peeta's blood hungry voice was something I never wanted to hear again. It wasn't the sweet Peeta he always seemed to be.

Her struggles grew, as the two started to wrestle close to the edge. Katniss suddenly fighting back, that or succumb to being tortured. She gained the upper hand. Dammit Peeta, how can you be losing? She was even injured. He was on his back; his arms pinned above his head by Katniss own hands. I was struggling to my feet, I wouldn't be much help, but I could at least switch the odds.

"Didn't think you had it in you to torture someone." Katniss eyes were filled with rage as I stumbled towards the two. She looked up at me before smirking. Why was she smiling? "But for once, I have you right where I want you."

Her head bowed down and met Peeta's lips. Feeling a sudden surge of energy, I started running towards them. That fucking bitch. Peeta's eyes were wide with shock, and I noticed his lips turn into a smirk against hers as he deepened their kiss.

What? Stopping my approach: this had to be some sick joke. Was I some piece in their game the whole time? Was this their plan all along? To play everyone until the end?

"Peeta?" I asked, collapsing to the ground. I wanted some kind of reassurance. Didn't he just say he loved me only moments ago?

Katniss broke their kiss, looking down at him with a smile. Her grip on him loosened, freeing his limbs.

"And I've got you right where I want you!" Peeta shouted, moving his legs, pressing them against her abdomen and launching her off the side of the mountain. Her shrieks filled the air, her body twisting as she fell from the ledge.

Peeta was instantly on his feet, watching her fall. "Oh shit." His voice rang to me. "Two more are on their way up! I doubt they missed Katniss shrieking, not to mention her body falling."

"What was that?" I asked. I wanted answers, and the immediate threat present wasn't registering.

"I've got an idea." He said, turning on his heels towards me. "Cato, you need to move back against the wall, just to be safe."

"No, tell me what just happened. Why did you kiss her back?"

"Cato, there's no time! I'll explain later, you just have to trust me!" Peeta answered, turning back. "I won't be able to take them both. I need to try something or we are both dead."

He started slamming his weight into a large icy block overhanging the edge. "Cato! Trust me! I'll explain later!"

I started my crawl back to the icy wall backwards. What was he doing? His movements became more desperate and he started kicking at the block and shouting. His shouts were loud, and the snow from above started to fall again.

"Stop yelling!" I shouted at him, "You're making it snow."

The ice block finally gave purchase, and slid down the mountain towards the two. "Dammit, that didn't work. They both dodged it."

He looked towards me, watching the snow settle. "Cato, stay where you are! And keep shouting!"

"Is this another trust thing?" I yelled back, "I don't want to yell, its making it snow!"

Peeta started running towards me, hollering at the top of his lungs. He stopped only to tell me to join him. I didn't have much of a choice. Our combined shouts filled the air, the volume putting the japperjays symphony to shame.

"Why are we doing this?" I shouted, more snow falling from above us.

Then I felt it, the whole mountain seemed to tremble, more snow falling from the icy canopy covering us. He pulled me close to him, his shouting seized. The two tributes in front of us appeared in the clearing where Peeta and Katniss had brawled. Their faces held smiles, quickly turning to horror. The thick blanket of ice and snow bombarded down in front of us, spilling over our icy haven and catching the two in its wake.

"Peeta?" I shouted to him, his hold on me tightening, the ice and snow spilling in towards us, encasing us on all sides. The cold feeling of being buried pushed its way into me as the snow settled around my legs.

"Cato!" We'll be alright!" he shouted back to me over the noise of the snow slide. My momentary worry was relieved by his hold on me. I felt safe in his arms, temporarily forgetting his moment with Katniss and the chaos around us.

It only lasted a moment, as the memory flooded back to me, the pain in my shoulder returning with forgotten revenge. I wasn't safe. The whole mountain was falling down on us, and my only comfort was the strange embrace of a person I used to know.

The trembling continued, the snow filtering in under our canopy threatening to crush us against the wall and blocking out all light. Great, now I was left alone in the dark, about to die, in the arms of someone I thought I could trust. Why couldn't Katniss' aim be as good as Peeta said it was?

* * *

A/N: I don't really have much to say here... Oh, and "to be continued." for some reviewers who thought the last chapter was my last one. I wouldn't do that to you guys!


	22. Chapter 22

Again, thank you to all my reviewers and private messagers. You all brighten my day!

* * *

"Is this ever going to stop?" I shouted, trying to drown out the noise of the raining ice storm.

"Should be anytime now." Peeta answered, "Avalanches don't normally last this long."

Snow was pouring in more, surrounding us in a thick blanket. Small pieces caught my face, coldly reminding me that my face mask was gone. Turning my face away from the bombardment, I was now face to face with him. His eyes shimmering from the low light, the shadows playing against his features. It mirrored the qualities of the blood thirsty boy I had seen only moments earlier.

The avalanche began to die down: the snow settling and no longer trying to suffocate us in its grasp. Once it settled, small rays of light bore through to us near the top edge of the overhang.

"Guess it's done." Peeta broke the silence left behind by the avalanche. He slipped out from under me, causing pain to shoot through my shoulder. "How are you doing?"

My pained groan was all I could answer with until he freed himself from me. "Let me look at it." Peeta spoke, voice thick with empathy.

"Just leave it, can't get a good look at it now anyway. It's too dark in here." It being dark was true, but I just didn't want him to touch me anymore than he had to. His kiss with Katniss playing through my mind on repeat made me quake with anger. Consequently, my shivers brought only more pain. Why couldn't she have just shot me through the heart instead? She basically did anyway.

"Right…" he pulled away from me. "Wait here, I'll try to clear a path out. We should probably get out of here before night falls."

The light pouring in on us was weak, but it also meant our escape would be easier. At least for him, how was I supposed to climb up there and pull myself free with an arrow in me? Peeta was busily digging his way out, his bare hands digging into the snow and ice. The small cavern was filled with heavy breathing and pained grunts, Peeta struggling against the cold.

"Why did you kiss her?" I asked. I hated that I was so blunt and I couldn't seem to control my speech when something was on my mind.

"She kissed me, Cato." Peeta spun to face me. Just admit it, you were caught.

"Don't play me for an idiot, Peeta." I barked back, "I saw it all. When I asked you last time if I was second place, you said you'd never do that to me. Then explain that!"

"Cato…" Peeta stopped digging to answer me. "It's hard to explain."

"I bet! Surprised you can still talk with how far your tongue was down her throat. Didn't think you'd ever get it back." I couldn't help but be jealous. The two had shared a complicated but entangled past. How could I compete with that?

"That's not fair!" Peeta shouted down at me. "I never judged you for kissing Clove!"

"That's different! I didn't make out with her!" I shouted, "Plus she was already dead"

Fuck, I hated that he used Clove against me. And how could the two even possibly be related? They were as different as hot and cold. It hurt to be reminded of her and I just wanted this whole conversation to end now. It went to far.

"Katniss was already dead in my mind." Peeta's voice was barely a whisper, but I caught every word. "That kiss was partially a goodbye. But it was mainly a way to unnerve her, catch her off guard."

"Why did you even let her pin you? I've seen you wrestle before. You could have easily defeated her." I added.

"I let her get the upper hand. At the time I thought it would hurt her more. Give her the false sense that she was winning. Just like how I thought the kiss would hurt. Like she almost had me, the one person she claims to have wanted forever, only to be kicked off a cliff by me. All it really hurt was me and you."

"You sound like how I used to." I said. "All torture. How can I hurt this person as much as possible? That isn't me anymore, and it isn't you!"

"Stop it, Cato!" Peeta suddenly shouted causing the chamber to shake and snow to fall from the ceiling. "Don't act like you're the only one who changed during the games. You treat me like I'm this perfect person, but I can change too. I don't like the person the games is changing me into. Before, I'd never hurt a fly. Now I've done the worst thing I could ever imagine. Using her love for me against her, flaunting it to her for only a moment before I killed her! So just leave it alone!"

What am I supposed to say to that? After he finished, I let the silence take over, filled only by the noise of Peeta's labor against the ice wall. I wanted to apologize. Part of me told me he was telling the truth, the other part of me told me otherwise. He had been through a lot in the past day; knocked out and going insane from the jabberjays. Was his kiss with Katniss just another part of his impaired judgement?

"I like how the only thing you noticed was me kissing her." Peeta grunted, his hands digging into ice. It crumbled and a small hole appeared, illuminating the cave. "You seem to have forgotten that I said I loved you. But I guess that means nothing."

He crawled out of the cave, leaving me alone. Is he going to leave me again? I wouldn't blame him. He told me to trust him, but I never gave him that trust. He was right, I always treated him like he was someone who needed to be saved, never letting him fight for himself or make his own decisions. I was being to hard on him. He never gave me a reason not to trust him with my life. In fact, he actually proved he could save me, fighting off three other tributes, being injured himself. Fuck regret. The "new" emotions I had learned started to become second nature, but my regret for my words stung more than the arrow.

"Are you coming?" Peeta hissed from the other side of the hole. "Or are you just gonna sit in there forever?"

"No, I'm coming." I called back, forcing myself to move. Crawling my way up the slant to the exit was difficult, but I was managing it, every movement aching, dulled by my inner turmoil which slowed me further.

I made it about half way there when Peeta shouted down to me, "Hurry up, Cato. We're running out of daylight."

"I'm moving as fast as I can, dammit!" I shouted back, pulling myself further up. Reaching the small exit I found myself stuck. "It's not big enough to squeeze through." I whimpered caught by the arrow in my shoulder.

"Here, let me help." Peeta answered walking towards me. He dug his red hands into the snow around the snagged arrow causing me to cringe at his merciless digging. His movements causing the arrow to dig into me, pulling a groan from my lips. "Does that hurt? Good, you ass."

"Dammit, I'm sorry, okay!" I was on the verge of tears, the pain burrowing into me like hot knives. "I'm sorry I'm a jealous boyfriend. Okay?"

"Boyfriend?" Peeta asked. His hands falling to his sides, the dusk making them appear redder than they actually were.

"I know we never made it official, but I just figured that's what we were." I clumsily explained. "I mean, aren't we?"

"Kind of a strange time to be asking me out." Peeta answered, digging his fingers back into the snow, being more careful. "I mean, whats our first date? Hey there, how are you? Oh don't mind that wolf gnawing on my leg. I hope you live through our gourmet dinner of jabberjay to walk with me through the woods…"

He smirked up at me, "Very funny," I grunted as the arrow freed itself from the snow allowing me to slide through completely. "I had something a little more romantic planned, but if you get off on the whole wolf thing, then I guess we can do that."

"Since when did you get a sense of humor?" Peeta laughed, "But don't think this fixes anything."

"Maybe a little?" I joked. Thank you, Clove. I didn't really understand why you pushed flirting lessons on me, but I'm glad you did. And my skills seemed more natural than my first attempt at them. God, that was a disaster. Then again, I didn't have much left to lose anymore compared to what I did. It somehow made it seem easier.

He stiffened looking down at me. "Fine, maybe a little. But you're still an ass."

"Fair enough." I answered, collapsing to the ground. The terrain changed so much, having been molded by the avalanche. "So is that a yes?"

"Yes, what?" Peeta asked, sitting next to me, surveying the newly formed world.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" I hesitated to ask it again. The more I thought about it, the dumber it sounded. We are nearing the end of the games, only one could survive. But the thought of being able to call him my boyfriend filled me with something.

"Cato, of course." He answered, leaning his head against me. The something that was building in me turned out to be fuel, ignited by his touch and filling me with his burning flame. It was something that seemed long forgotten, something that was lost for so long, even though it had only been a day. I wrapped my arms around him and caught the glint of a silver package floating down from the sky.

"Hey, I think we got a gift." I answered.

I pointed up at the floating object, watching it hit the ground. "Why would they be giving us a package now? There's only 3 of us left. You'd think they'd just leave us to battle it out, no matter our injuries." He replied, picking his head up to see.

"Who cares, lets check it out!" I answered, pushing myself from the ground and approaching it. Opening it, I read the message inside aloud. "The Capitol is screaming over you two! Apply this to your wounds. For Cato: Break one end of the arrow and pull from the other end to remove it." Inside was a jar of medicine and a bag of jerky.

"Dammit, that doesn't sound very pleasant." I answered, thinking of the arrow.

"Don't be a wuss, Mr. Brutal and Bloody." Peeta answered, grabbing the pointed end of the arrow.

"No, Peeta. Don—" my scream echoed loudly off the mountain as he broke the pointed end off. Excruciating pain flooding me centered around my shoulder making my vision blur.

"Don't be such a baby." He replied, patting me on the back for a moment before ripping the feathered end out.

A second scream filled the air, echoing back at me as I fell to the ground. "I fucking hate you." I cringed, my hands holding against my wounded chest, watching drops of blood cover the snow.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Peeta replied, applying the medicine to my back. "Bet it feels a lot better now."

The cool feel of the medicine dulled the piercing pain running through me, allowing my vision to focus again. "A little. Save some for your face and hands." I replied.

"Don't worry, theres plenty. Pretty sure this gift was for both of us." He answered, applying the balm to my chest. I relaxed, leaning against the frozen wall. Peeta joined me after he rubbed the medicine on his cheek and hands, the sun disappearing and darkness taking over.

The anthem started to play shortly after, Glimmer's face covering the sky for the moment. She disappeared to be replaced by Surge, followed by Alex. An angry cry filled the air, eerily human. Thresh, his two friends had just been killed and by Peeta's hands.

The sky suddenly went dark, Alex's face disappearing. "Wait. That can't be it." I shouted, nearly choking on the jerky we were sharing.

"Katniss." Peeta hissed between bites, "So you're still alive."

* * *

A/N: She just keeps coming back. This chapter was more fluffy than I intended, but it seemed necessary when I started writing it. Hope you enjoy!


	23. Chapter 23

So I haven't updated in a while and I feel bad about that. I just finished this. However, I have a ton of things I need to get to and it is poorly edited because of this. I apologize for errors.

* * *

"How could she have lived through that?" I asked. My heart was pounding and my appetite was suddenly gone.

Peeta sighed, relaxing more against the icy wall behind us. "She's always been a tough one, although her survival against the avalanche seems impossible. Maybe she caught herself and found refuge the same way we did."

The jerky in my hand felt like lead, I didn't want it anymore. She couldn't still be alive. It was impossible, I wouldn't even have survived that. Her ability seemed intimidating and left me scared. If she could survive that, what could actually kill her?

"Not much we can do about it now." Peeta mumbled between bites. He seemed so collected. "Try to eat something Cato, I'm not all that hungry anymore either, but we haven't eaten in a while."

Grudgingly I bit into the jerky; the flavor exploding in my mouth was unwanted. We were so close, just the four of us left, but the wall of Katniss still stood in our way. Not to mention the other wall, Thresh. It seemed like the two walls were going to crush us. But hell, we made it this far, and we've stayed alive this long even with Katniss' relentless hunting.

Looking over at Peeta, his face in a grimace as he chewed, probably feeling the same distaste for the jerky as well. What was it about this boy that had everyone crawling over each other to be with him? I could actually see why, but of everyone he could have chosen, why me?

The last time I asked that ended in disaster, but the thought kept creeping in. I was nothing compared to him. I tried pushing it away feeling the thoughts begin to take root in my mind. I couldn't have it, I needed to be strong now.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Peeta asked, his blue eyes meeting mine. I was completely lost in my thoughts and forgot that I was staring at him.

"Sorry, trying to come up with a plan." I lied to him, but I didn't want to tell him what I was really thinking of. My insecurities could wait, the last thing I needed was another fight with Peeta. "Trying to draw some inspiration from you."

"Right…" Peeta started, his eyes narrowing at me. "Don't worry to much about it. If that shout was Thresh, he's clear across the mountain. Plus, Katniss is wounded, she won't attack us head on this so-"

"Attention tributes, I congratulate you on making it this far. As I'm sure you all know, it's only the four of you left. I commemorate each and every one of you on your success thus far. As a prize, I happily invite you all to a feast. All of you have lost something, I give you the opportunity to regain what was lost. I highly encourage you to attend, for skipping may mean your life."

The voice in the sky faded only to be replaced by the steady wind blowing across the mountain.

"Was that President Snow?" Peeta whispered. "Has he ever made an announcement himself?"

"Not that I can recall." I spoke, "Not to mention the feasts are never mandatory. He basically said if we don't attend, we're dead."

"Something big is going down, but what makes this year so special?" Peeta began to panic, the thought of being forced together would inevitably crown a winner, and if we stayed we would undoubtedly die. "Why do they keep fucking with us?"

As if on cue, the jabberjay orchestra started again, filling the air with the tortured screams of our fallen enemies. Not only where their cries filling the sky, but the deep howls of the wolves returned, filling the night sky with the darkest of harmonies.

"Maybe we should get moving." I calmly noted. As I stood, I noticed the effects of the medicine. The little time that passed was enough, dulling the pain in my arm to little more than an ache. Looking over at Peeta, his face still marred by the cut down his cheek. Maybe this was only a pain reliever, to push us through to the end. The end that seemed would be tonight. The finale was set in motion and I felt the urge to begin our ascent to the cornucopia.

"We should really be going." My voice urgent, trying to get Peeta to react, make him stand. The pain reliever dulled the pain, but I wouldn't be able to carry him.

"It's the finale, Cato." Peeta whispered, "It's time to decide, only one of us can win."

"We'll figure that out later." I replied, "I won't give up on us that easily. In order for my plan to work, I need you to work with me. Don't give up."

"You have a plan?" Peeta pushed himself to his feet. Of course I didn't. It sucked lying to him twice in a matter of moments. I wouldn't let him give up like this. Well, maybe I did have a plan. When the time came and the two of us were the only ones left, I'd throw myself off the mountain. The capitol won't get the satisfaction of killing me, it will be my choice. Peeta couldn't know that though, if he did he'd never agree to come with me.

"Trust me." I smiled, pulling him into an embrace.

* * *

Our ascent was quiet, Peeta following closely behind me. My mind wandered during our climb, thinking this is my last few moments alive, how I'll fight anyone to keep Peeta alive. The latter made me happy, and I'd be okay with dying if I knew he would live.

"The wind is picking up, we must be getting close." Peeta broke the silence, reaching his hand out to grab mine. "I don't remember this being such a climb when I ran from it the first day."

The jabberjays and howling were dying down, their calls masked by the wind and our proximity to the cornucopia. I held his hand, wanting to never let go. Is this how an animal feels in its last moments of life? Clinging to anything for hope? It must be, for the Capitol was one of the most creative and relentless hunters.

The ground leveled, and the cornucopia was before us. It was lit lightly by the moon, making it seem even more ominous. There was no where to hide here anymore, only the gentle shadows of the platforms and the grand horn itself.

"Looks like we're first to arrive." Peeta acknowldeged.

"Peeta? Is that you?"

It couldn't be. When the Capitol said we could regain something that was lost, I never thought it could be this. Clove was standing in a glass cage before us, her hands pressed against the clear frame. "Cato? Help me!"

I tried to stop him, but Peeta's hand ripped from mine and was already running towards her. "Peeta! Stop! Clove is dead, it can't be her!"

I found myself running after him. My thoughts were jumbled, it couldn't be her. She died right in front of me. But what if it is her?

"Clove!" Peeta's voice rang out as he stopped in front of her, his hand gently touching the glass, silhouetting Clove's hands. My gaze was distracted to a pack sitting off to the side a few meters away. Part of me wanted to run up to her, to save her from her prison. Something kept telling me to stop, that she was just another trick the Capitol had up their sleeve. Deciding I could grab the pack and figure out if it was really her later, I ran towards it.

"Fuck you, Cato!" I heard Cloves voice shout to me, "So much for being my best friend, you'd rather grab a damn pack than try and save me!"

It's not her, it can't be. Just keep going for the pack. At the moment it's more important. Reaching it, I ripped it open, finding a sword and throwing knives. Were these for Clove? But it's the finale, why would they bring people back… and better yet-

"How are you here?" It was literally impossible, Peeta stealing the words right out of my head. "I saw you die! I even saw you taken away!"

I never looked back that day, but I'm sure it happened. I gripped the sword in my hand tight, closing the duffle bag and leaving the knives for the moment. I wasn't about to let "Clove" have a weapon. Not until I was sure it was her.

"I don't even know myself, I remember the split second, watching the arrow fly towards me… And then I was here." Clove spoke, "Would you guys just let me out?"

"Katniss!" the voice near me made me jump. Unmistakably the same voice I heard moments before I thrusted my blade into her. Rue. What is going on? How can the dead be here right now? I killed her myself! I know she was dead!

"Hold on, theres got to be some way to get you out." Peeta shouted. My head was spinning and it was to late, he must have found out how to let her out. My vision was blurring, but I saw her lunge on him.

"You let me die!" Clove shrieked pouncing on Peeta, causing both to fall to the ground. "It's all your fault! If Cato wasn't caught up with you, I wouldn't have died!"

"Peeta!" I shouted, feeling the sword heavy in my hands. I started running towards the two rolling on the ground. Could I kill Clove? I always told myself if I had to for Peeta, I would. But I could I watch her die twice? Peeta's surprise was short lived, and he started to fight back.

"That wasn't my fault!" Peeta shouted fighting her off him, "There was nothing we could have done!"

The impact caught me off guard, my entire thoughts now on Clove trying to strangle Peeta that I didn't see him coming. I was on my back, my sword inches away from my grasp, pinned by Thresh.

Tresh's weight was crushing me, his bloodshot brown eyes staring down into me with hatred. His hands were around my neck pulling every breath out of me that he could. "It was you that killed them, wasn't it?"

I couldn't even speak, his hold on me crushing me. My eyes watering, I tried to reach for my sword. It was so close, but couldn't be further away. Warm hands wrapped around my neck, slowly but surely taking the world from me. Vision was starting to dim, my struggles were weak. Is this how it all ends? Peeta killed by my best friend while I die next to him?

"Katniss! Where are you!" Rue's voice called out.

Thresh's hold on me weakened at her voice. No, this is not how it ends. I reached for my sword, thrusting it up into him, watching the blood splattered blade emerge from his back. Blood shot eyes stared down at me, wide open in shock as his blood dripped down my hand. Blood and saliva splashed against my face, Thresh's gurgled attempt at speech ending in the mixture. He slumped against me, his full weight crushing down on me.

Rue's calls still filled the air, Peeta and Clove's fight for power continuing filling the silence between Rue's shouts. The sound of bones snapping spun my head towards Peeta's battle, his hands pulling away from Clove's lifeless body. "I'm so sorry, Clove." Peeta whimpered.

Thresh's weight had me paralyzed, my mind still spinning at what was happening. My gaze returning to Thresh, trying to push him from me.

"Get off of him!" Peeta's shout pulling my attention from Tresh to him running towards me.

"Peeta, no!" I shouted.

His weight hit Thresh, crushing me further. The sick sound of Peeta's gasp rang through my ears. My eyes closed at the impact, and I forced them open.

Fuck, I wish I hadn't. Thresh gasping blood down on my face, Peeta on Thresh's back motionless. More warm blood flowed down my hand, reminding me of my sword. The one I had impaled Thresh with, watching the blade emerge from his back. His back…

"Peeta!" I shouted. My only reply was Rue's continuous shout, broken only by the sound of a cannon firing.


	24. Chapter 24

The ring of the cannon's fire was still in my ears. Peeta, it couldn't be yours. My head was spinning again, not able to hear anything but the ringing in my ears.

The weight on top of me was crushing. I wanted to move, but I couldn't if there was any chance that Peeta was still alive. Every movement I made could move the sword I was sure was in him. "Peeta!" I shouted. Or at least I thought I did, I couldn't hear myself say anything.

Rue's relentless calls started to drift back to me, letting me know I could still hear. "Peeta!" I shouted again, this time hearing my voice. Why wasn't he moving? Or calling back to me?

"Cato…" the soft whisper barely audible.

"Peeta?" my excitement caused me to push Thresh to see him, only pulling pained groans from him and fresh blood to pour down my hand again. Fuck, what was I going to do? I couldn't move without hurting him and I was no help pinned to the ground.

"Peeta, are you alright?" I knew he wasn't, but I had to know.

"Never better." He gasped between pained groans.

His statement brought tears to my eyes, knowing things were far worse than I wanted to believe. "You'll be okay, Peeta."

His laugh only brought more tears to my eyes, "Thanks for the moral support." I heard him cough, sending jolts of movement down to my hand. "But we both know that a sword to the chest isn't something you can walk off."

"Don't give up!" I found myself shouting at him, "It can't be that bad!"

This isn't how it's supposed to end, Peeta was supposed to be the one going home. Why did he have to jump on Thresh? If he dies, it'll be on my hands. How can I live with that? He won't die, I won't let him.

"Peeta?" he hadn't spoken since, "Peeta! Stay with me!"

"I'm tired." He coughed causing a new wave of warm fluid to flow down my hand.

"Stay with me, you have to!" I shouted, tears rolling down my cheeks, "I can't do this with out you."

"You can, it's just Katniss left." Peeta whimpered. "Don't let her win. Win for me."

It sounded like he was giving up, making my body tremble, the sword shaking with my hands shivers.

"Uhg, Cato." Peeta's pained voice started, "Please stop shaking."

Mentally trying to stop my trembling ended in slight success. Still shaking, but my hand was steady. Rue's voice still flowed thickly through the air, reminding me that Katniss was probably on her way. Maybe if she arrived, she could open up Rue's cage. Hopefully, like Clove, Rue would attack and kill her before Peeta's life left him. But then what? How would I kill myself? If the Capitol had the healing power, I'm sure they could fix Peeta up if he was to win.

"I love you, Cato." Peeta whispered. Suddenly I felt the extra weight on me as Peeta completely collapsed

"Peeta?" my voice growing tight. "Peeta! Talk to me!"

The blast from the cannon shook me. "Peeta! No! Come on, Peeta." I whimpered, "Say something to me! Please!"

All I was aware of were the tears sliding down my face. His silence was all the proof I needed that the Capitol succeeded in taking every last thing from me. What did I have to go home to? A family I felt nothing for? All the money I never needed, courtesy of the Capitol? I had nothing. As far as I'm concerned, they took the only thing that mattered from me. They took the family I made away: Clove, the girl that showed me how great the world could be. Peeta, the only person I ever wanted to be with, the person who made my world great. Fuck them all.

Rue's continued screeches sunk in, driving me to the end of my patience. "Would you shut the fuck up!"

I struggled against the two on top of me, managing to move my good arm enough to push Thresh off me, Peeta rolling with him. I squeezed myself from under them, the blood slush trying to suck me back into their embrace.

I crawled out and climbed over Thresh to stare at Peeta. His eyes closed, the tip of the blade protruding from his back. Pulling the sword free from them, I rolled Thresh away from him.

"You'll be okay," I reasoned with myself, "You'll open those beautiful blue eyes and tell me I was just having a bad dream."

Scooping his head in my arm, I pulled him close to me letting his lifeless body sit in my lap. My tears returned falling onto his face. Brushing his hair to the side, I noticed his lips speckled with blood and smeared it away with my fingers. My fingers hesitated for a moment, letting them rest against his lips.

"I love you, too." I spoke, dropping my lips to his.

"Always will." I said, pulling away and holding him tighter in my embrace.

My shouts echoed across the mountain, finally letting my sorrow escape the only way I knew how: in violent bawling until I couldn't shout anymore and collapsed beside him, his head on my chest and legs entangled in mine.

* * *

"Rue?" Katniss' scream tore me from my disheartened sleep. "Is that you? How?"

I looked up, seeing Katniss hobble towards Rue's cage. "Katniss! I didn't think you'd come! Let me out of here!"

Katniss stopped, surveying the surroundings. She must have known she couldn't be the only one here, the sounds of the other cannons going off. It was just the two of us. Her eyes spotted me and Peeta, Thresh rolled to the side surrounded by the bloody slush.

"Peeta?" She shouted turning her limp towards us. "Peeta!"

"Forget about him, Katniss! Help me!" Rue shouted, banging her small hands against the glass case.

I moved from Peeta's side, struggling to grab my sword. "Cato?" Katniss asked.

I reached my sword to turn towards her, finding her on her knees. "No, this wasn't how it was supposed to end. Peeta was supposed to win!" Her hands clenched into fists, tears starting to fall down her scratched face. "How could you have done this?"

I didn't have any words. We were enemies, but at the moment we had something in common. We both loved Peeta and lost him. Part of me felt her pain but the other part made me resent her even more. He wasn't yours. Peeta told me not to let her win, he wanted me to win. I didn't care about the game anymore, I only wanted him back. I'm not going to ignore his last wish for me. I'd win this game, for Peeta.

"What did you do to him? How could you even!" Katniss shouted. She sagged to the ground further.

"It was an accident." I stumbled, walking towards her with my sword in hand. She noticed my advance, pulling out a dagger and composing herself.

"What? Did he accidentally walk into your sword?" She snorted, "He was supposed to win. If he can't, then I sure as hell won't let it be you."

"Don't make me laugh." I snorted, "By the way, what happened to your bow? Lose it when Peeta kicked you off the cliff? Even after that, you're still trying to win him over."

She stiffened at the comment, exactly what I wanted her to do. Unnerve her, make it easier. From my previous encounters with her, I learned not to underestimate her. Even if she is injured.

"We gonna talk this out, or is it going to end?" She hissed.

"Lets end it now." I retorted.

"Good, I wouldn't have it any other way." She smiled, brandishing her knife.

We circled each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. "Katniss! Please!" Rue's call broke the silence, and Katniss hesitated for only a moment.

It was all I needed. I lunged towards her, my sword arching through the air. She regained her composure. It didn't matter, she couldn't avoid my attack: it was too late for her. Her arm jutted out towards me, as if to push me away from her.

I felt the knife slip into me before I felt the heavy collision of my sword against her. The pain radiated out from my chest, causing me slump. We pulled apart, my sword dropping to the ground, reaching for my injured chest. My hands still sticky with Thresh and Peeta's blood, but I could still feel the warm feeling of my own spew from between my fingers. Crashing to my knees, I couldn't look up to see how Katniss fared. Collapsing to the ground face first, the cold feeling of the snow invited for the first time.

My memories faded, replaced only by the opening embrace of darkness. Is this how it all ends? Peeta, I'm so sorry.

* * *

A/N: I'm sure a ton of you probably hate me... I hope it doesn't piss you off enough to stop reading, especially since there's only one chapter left! Stay tuned for the Epilogue!

Also, I feel like I didn't catch the sorrow correctly, but the more I tried, the worse it got. Sorry if it seems strange.


	25. Finale Part 1

So I lied. The finale ended up being A LOT longer than I expected. So I decided to break it up, most likely into 2 parts, but maybe even 3. Regardless, this chapter is still my longest yet. And the next one or two will most likely be just as long. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Everything is so bright. Am I still alive? I doubt the end of my existence would be this bright. What have I done to deserve something like this? My death should involve darkness, maybe a bit of hell fire. After all, it was my sword that brought down the only person I loved.

"Cato?" a familiar high pitched voice broke through to me. "Cato, are you awake?"

Awake? How? Where am I? The blurred white room slowly pulled into focus, the lights shining in my eyes. My arms were covered with tubing, soft clicking from machines I've never seen before in my life. "Am I alive?"

"The miracles of the Capitol." Barely a whisper over the soft machinery. "You made it as hard as you could on them."

"How am I here?" my voice was rough, hurting my throat. I wanted to fall back asleep, to leave this room forever.

"It was a rough final battle; you took a knife to the chest, but nearly decapitated Katniss." My eyes didn't want to completely focus, the person next to me a blur of orange and red. It reminded me of the sunrise sending a shot of pain through my chest: Peeta. The sunrise always reminded me of him.

"What wrong? They fixed your chest up, but you'll probably have a little pain yet." My hand was on my covering my heart, but not for the reason they thought it was.

"Leave me alone." I groaned. The person was irritating me, and all I wanted was to be left alone. If what she said was correct, then Peeta really was dead and I apparently won. Something about Katniss being nearly decapitated?

"As you wish," the whisper came back. "I'm glad you won, Cato. If you need anything just ask for me."

The soft clicks of her heels told me she was leaving. Rolling onto my side, I felt the tubing in my arms tug against the machine. I didn't care, just wanting sleep to take me.

* * *

I awoke again, the room still a blur. The orange being back at my side.

"Cato?"

"What?" my voice no longer hurting my throat. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at her anymore than I had to.

"You've been sleeping for nearly a week over all. President Snow won't wait any longer. They need to crown you as victor."

"Like I care." I mumbled my reply.

"I thought you might say that, so I found this. Maybe it'll help your recovery. He'd want you to move on." Something was placed on my lap. I waited for the sound of her heels to disappear before opening my eyes. It was blurry, but unmistakably Peeta's black marble. Black as coal. Was this really supposed to help me recover? It only hurt more.

"_If you end up winning, I want you to remember me."_

Peeta's voice, what he said to me the night he told me to keep it. Maybe he did want me to go on. It all seems like a distant dream. The marble rolled in my hands, contrasting against the completely white room. I'll go on. I'll try to live for the both of us.

* * *

The interview and crowning was a blur, President Snow congratulating me. The replay of my victory being played before me, watching Clove die and then watching her die again from Peeta's hands. Peeta's good natured attempt of helping me only to end in his demise, then my sword colliding with Katniss neck: both of us falling to the ground. It was all I could muster to keep my mask at bay. I wouldn't let it return, but it kept pushing to resurface. To turn on all of these people praising me, people I've grown to despise more than anything in my life.

The time came for me to return home. Or at least I thought it was. They sent me back to my room and told me to stay there. Not that I was in any rush to return home, nothing awaited me there. Nothing awaited me anywhere; it didn't matter where I was.

My escort arrived, her orange hair telling me she was the one at my side in the hospital. She wasn't alone; another female, one with pink hair, was with her.

"Hello, Cato." She said. What was her name? I'm not even sure if she even told me. She probably did, but back then I wasn't listening. "This is Effie Trinket. She was Peeta's escort."

"And?" I accidentally blurted out. What makes this woman think she has the right to talk to me?

"She wanted to have a few words with you, if that's alright with you." My escort answered.

I didn't want to talk to her, but I nodded my agreement. My escort left the room and Effie awaited my invitation to sit. The Capitol citzens and their manners. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction; she'd have to stand uncomfortably if she wanted to talk to me.

She sent me a glare, knowing I wouldn't invite her to take a seat, and started her story. "I didn't know Peeta all that well, having been removed from the tower quickly, but I knew the boy had something that would bring him far. He even gave me hope, not that I knew what it was at the time. Well not just him, but everyone."

"What do you mean by everyone?" I asked.

"He pushed you, everyone saw it. Everyone was waiting for both of your next moves." She spoke, suddenly fidgeting uncomfortably. "Not just the Capitol, but all of Panem. That's the reason we can't send you back just yet. You two kind of sparked something in the districts. Not only was I mortified by what the Capitol did to you all this year, but so were the Districts."

"Are you trying to tell me there's a rebellion happening? Because of me and Peeta?" I replied. Good, the Capitol deserved everything they are getting.

"At first it was surprisingly District 2. Lead by your father." She whispered. "District 12 shortly after, but they lacked the resources and their rebellion was quickly stopped. Word started to spread. By the time everyone saw Clove, Rue, and Surge on the mountaintop, all of the districts were rebelling."

My dad lead the rebellion? "Why are you telling me this? Shouldn't you be on the Capitol's side?"

"Although I disagree with the Districts rebellion, I feel more for you. Snow went through with the crowning ceremony in hopes it might diffuse the Districts, giving them one of their stars as the victor. It didn't work, only made the rebellion stronger. I'm only helping because they'll torture you. Make an example of you to the world."

I shuddered at the thought. Haven't they tortured me enough as is? "I have one question first. How was Clove on that mountain? I saw her die."

She sighed. "The Capitol was able to reanimate them. It was sort of like reviving them, but not quite. They became—"

The knock at the door silenced her, "Everything alright in there, Effie?"

"Yes, just finishing up. Give me a few more moments, Tabitha." Effie answered.

"I don't have much time, Tabitha doesn't know what I'm really up to. She thinks I'm here to congratulate you and send my condolences on your loss."

"They became what?" I asked, shrugging off her explanation.

"They became disoriented. They have their memories, but they become slightly twisted, causing them to hate those they actually love." Effie stated, fumbling with her gloved hand. "Like I said, I don't have much time. Act like I was congratulating you, then I'll be back after sunset."

She hugged me, her hair tickling my cheek. Could I trust this woman? She pulled away from me, sighing once again, straightening her dress. "Okay Tabitha, I'm finished."

Tabitha entered, Effie curtsied and left my room, mumbling a few of her sorrows to Tabitha as she left.

"Is there anything you need, Cato?" Tabitha asked me, her orange hair bobbing as she walked towards me.

"To be alone." I bluntly answered. I guess I had no choice but to trust Effie. It was either that or trust the Capitol. She nodded at me, turning to the exit.

"Let me know if you need anything." Her voice soft as she shut the door behind her.

I pulled out Peeta's marble, letting it roll in my palm. Fixing it between my fingers I lifted it to eye level. "What should I do, Peeta?"

* * *

An hour after sunset, I heard the knock at my door. Opening it I found Effie holding a back at arms length. She walked into the room without me inviting her in and set the bag on the table.

"This is for you." She spoke. "Hopefully we won't need it, but just in case."

Eyeing the bag skeptically, I opened it finding a sword inside. "A sword? Am I going to have to fight my way out?"

"Like I said, hopefully you won't have to. But you never know." She whispered. "Cato, stay safe. I'll lead you as far as I can out of the mansion."

"And what am I supposed to do once I get out of here?" I asked.

"There's a group of rebels within the city. Find Tigress' shop, she can help." Effie explained, "And put this on."

She reached into the bag and pulled out a face mask. The mask gave me terrible memories of the arena that I had hoped to never see again. I was trying so hard to bury the bad memories, and only leave the ones of Peeta and Clove behind.

"Come on, Cato." Effie stressed, "We need to go now while there aren't many guards on duty."

"I don't get it, Effie." I stated, "If you are so against them torturing me, why do you want me to kill the guards?"

"I don't really…" Effie answered, "I just want you to be safe. I have my reasons."

Leaving my room, sword in hand, was more terrifying than my first few moments in the arena. I didn't know what to expect, and the odds this time were even less in my favor. Effie led us down the hall, moving surprisingly quick on her large heels. We turned down hall after hall, making me feel like I would be lost the second she left my side. How did she expect me to find this place once I escaped the mansion?

She suddenly stopped, leaning towards me to whisper. "We're almost out, there are 4 guards in front of us. I'll try to distract them while you slip out. Tigress' shop is down the main road, keep following it, you'll eventually get there."

With that she stepped out into the clearing in front of us and approached the guards. She tried to sweet talk them, but it didn't seem to be working. I would take the chance, thinking the four were distracted enough for me to slip pass.

My heart pounding in my chest, I reached for the marble hoping Peeta would be able to send me some of his strength. Taking a deep breathe, I lunged from the corridor and ran for the exit.

"Hey, Stop!" I heard one of the guards shout as I ran by them. I didn't stop, and heard Effie shout: telling me to keep going. I'm sure that was it for her, she'd be labeled a traitor and tortured just like I would have been. Now I really couldn't get caught or her sacrifice would mean nothing.

I dared a look back to see if anyone was following me. One guard was, the other three restraining Effie. I had to lose the guard somehow. I didn't want to get lost, but if I didn't turn into the alleys, I'd never lose him.

Wait, I had an idea, turning on my heels, I ran for an alley. The shows covered the dark alley and gave me a place to hide. The guard followed me, his billy club in hand. Once the shadows covered us, I turned and ran towards him. His eyes flashed open wide as the butt of my sword collided with his head. His limp body fell to the ground. I wanted to kill him, but he was only doing his job. It wouldn't have been right.

Stepping from the shadows, I continued down the lane until I found Tigress' shop. Opening the door, a strange… human? Came from behind the counter.

"Cato, I prrsume?" The people in the capitol took things a little to far. "Downstairs, they've been waiting."

"Who?" I asked, but it said no more, only leading me behind the counter to her closet. Inside was a small exit to the back of the shop with a stairs leading to another room.

Following the stairs, I pushed open the door, it creaking on its hinges.

"Cato!"

"Dad?"

* * *

"Cato! I'm so glad you escaped." He pulled me into a hug. It was strange. My parents never showed me any kind of love before. "You had us worried. I'm so sorry the Capitol put you through all of that."

"Like you cared." I retorted

"Don't be like that, son." He said, pulling away from me. "You were the one that pushed us away. When we saw you in the arena, we knew you had changed and we were so proud. It was all because of that Peeta boy wasn't it?"

"Sorta." I explained, "Figured you be kind of mad about that, you know. Me liking a guy."

"I could care less, he brought back your humanity." My dad explained. "You're probably tired, get some sleep. I'll explain everything in the morning."

I was completely numb, so much was happening. I felt like I was about to explode, my dad was here, Effie most likely died for me… All for what? I realize it's the rebellion, but why was everything centered around me? And who were all these other people here? Like my dad said, he'd explain everything in the morning. No point furthering my confusion for one day. Laying down on a bed of clothes, I found sleep quickly.

Awaking, my dad was talking to someone else. I crawled from where I was and approached the two, hoping they may have some answers for me.

"Dad?" I interrupted.

"Cato! Good to see you awake." He answered.

"Why are you here." I asked, "In the Capitol, I mean."

"Isn't it obvious? District 2 was easy to take." He explained, "Not to hard to understand, we are all born fighters there, once it was secured, I was moved here to create a plan of action. Tigress was kind enough to accommodate us."

"So, what is the plan?" I asked.

"I'm not letting you fight, Cato." He answered bluntly. "We almost lost you once. I know you can fight, but you're my son. You'll have to stay here."

Honestly, I was okay with that. I saw to much blood shed in the past few days, not to mention my friend's deaths. Still, I wanted to know the plan, in case I changed my mind. I needed a break from war, but I would still fight when I was needed.

I vaguely payed attention, catching something about an air raid. It sounded too complicated for me. My head was still muddled from everything that was happening. "Can I get some air?" I asked.

"Cato.." My dad answered, "You're the most recognizable person right now and it's in the middle of the day."

"I'll be careful." Trying to persuade him. I wasn't that stupid. It wasn't like I was going to run off in the middle of the Capitol.

"You can step out on the stairs, I think that would be safe." My dad answered, "But please don't leave the store."

"Whatever." I pushed the door open and stepped onto the stairs. I wasn't really sure how I felt about my dad. He wasn't really very fatherly. I guess that was partly my fault, but I'm an adult now and he was treating me like a kid. I could still hear him discussing their plans behind the door. Not wanting to hear them, I walked through the secret door into the shop. Tigress watched me as I walked across it, noticing the sign on the door say closed and the curtains drawn.

Walking towards the windows, I dared to pull one to the side. My efforts rewarded with a hiss from Tigress, I shot her a glare and looked out. The Capitol citizens going about their day in their strange dress. Many of them were congregated around something, I couldn't tell what.

I pushed the curtain further open to get a better view and noticed something pushing through the crowd. Many of the Capitol citizens were crying, some screaming as if they saw a ghost, others with confused expressions. What was happening?

Then the image pushed through the crowd, conversing with the citizens but obviously on a mission. Dropping to the floor, the curtains falling back into place, I felt my heart race. It couldn't have been. Daring myself to look again, I pushed the curtains to the side. It was.

It was Peeta.

* * *

Somehow, I ended up on the other side of the store, cringing. It felt like my heart was ripped from chest all over again. How could it have been him? It was him, I was sure of it. It was unmistakable. But still, how? Tigress on the ground next to me, her pawish hands around my shoulder.

"What isss it, Cato?"

I felt like I was going to throw up, but the other part of me was jumping with joy. He was somehow alive? But I saw him die. Then it hit me. I saw the same with Clove.

_They have their memories, but they become slightly twisted, causing them to hate those they actually love._

It was the only way he could still be alive. And if it was true, then I was his number one target. If he loved me as much as he said, then he'd be looking for vengeance. It would also explain the citizens. He seemed so natural with them, yet he hated them just as much as me. But now he loved them. The capitol made him the killing machine District 2 made me.

Which means, maybe he can change! I did. The energy started flowing through me, the hope that my Peeta can still be there deep down.

"Cato!" my dad was by my side, Tigress behind him. "What happened?"

I still was at a loss for words. All these ideas flooding through me. "Cato, talk to me."

"Dad." I started looking up into his eyes, "I just saw Peeta."

"You can't be serious, son." He spoke in a hushed tone, "Peeta's dead. It's just your imagination."

"No, dad!" I shouted, "It was him, I'm sure of it!"

"How is that even possible?" My dad asked.

"Clove." It was all I could get out, but had the effect. My dad's face paled and he backed away slowly. Silence filled the shop as I tried to stop myself from bursting out the doors and pulling him against me. My dad silent in thought, his face still pale looking as if he was about to throw up.

"I guess it makes sense." My dad spoke, "They brought Clove back and I'm sure they are aware that you are gone now. Plus, they probably think you couldn't have gotten that far on your own. What better way to draw you out than send out the one man that can do it?"

He kneeled on the ground, grabbing my shoulders and catching my gaze, "You can't see him. He'll only out us. As far as I know, the Capitol doesn't know we are here yet."

"But dad!" I shouted, wanting him here with me, even if he was trying to kill me; I wanted him by my side.

"No buts." He replied, "You can't go after him."

"Then send someone to get him!" my voice thick with resentment. "You don't want me to fight, I get that, but I just saw the person I'm in love with. How can you expect me to let them go?"

He sat there for a moment. "Trailing him would probably be a good thing."

"And if you get the opportunity," I choked out, "Bring him back."

"Fine." His voice cracking as well, "It might be better to have him off the street anyway."

My dad had asked someone to follow him, and he left immediately after he had dressed as one of the citizens. I had returned to the small hidden room waiting for the news. The others and my dad continued to discuss their plan of attack. Something I had no interest in anymore, my thoughts filled with Peeta, hoping he was still him. That I wouldn't have to bring him back to reality, that it was simply just him. Even if it wasn't, I'd do everything I could to bring my Peeta back to the surface. He had all his memories, at least that's what Effie told me when she explained the others. It couldn't be that hard, I'd just have to show him how much he meant to me.

* * *

Night came, and still no news. The next few days passed and still nothing. Was the tail discovered? I thought by now they would have at least some news, or even have Peeta back here. I was sitting on the makeshift clothing bed when it happened.

"Rachis!" someone shouted. My dad stood, hearing his name called.

"What is it?" My dad asked.

"We just got word back from District 2 headquarters. District 9 seized control, but District 8 is losing the fight." The man explained.

"Dammit!" my dad shouted. "It's good that 9 seized power, but we can't lose anymore districts. Ask District 9 if they can assist in anyway way with District 8. If possible, District 7 can assist in their mobilization. I know they are struggling as well, but from the sounds of it 8 needs as much helps as they can get. Transportation to from District 9 to 8 would be easier if the transportation specialists could help."

Wow, my dad really was the lead man for the rebellion. Regardless, my heart stopped, I was hopeful on news of Peeta, but it was only war talk. I was getting my hopes up. I was getting antsy, I wanted to be out there looking for him, not held up in the basement.

The commotion upstairs caught us all of guard, everyone stopping and being completely silent. Did someone break into the shop? Were we found? "Quickly, dowstairsss."

Tigress' voice made us all relax, her order to go downstairs meant they were friends. "I could use a little help, he's stronger than he looks." The voice grunted, and more commotion filled the shop.

One of the people down here reached for the door and disappeared. More noise filled the room above us, but stopped completely after a moment. The silence that followed was deafening. Two pairs of footsteps filled the air as the two men walked down the stairs and opened the door.

One man carrying his shoulders, the other his feet, a gauze wrapped around his mouth: was Peeta. It took every part of me not to jump and pull him into my arms. His struggles against them were intense, kicking the man holding his feet in the chest. His arms were bound and his eyes flashed with hatred.

Peeta, what has the Capitol done to you? Our eyes locked, his blue eyes contrasting against his anger.

"Peeta?"

His eyes widened, his struggling increasing. His scream through his gag was unmistakeable. It was a scream that weakened me draining all hope: a scream of pure hatred.

* * *

A/N: So uhh, kinda got carried away. Hopefully I explained this enough and gave a decent reason for Peeta's "revival" than just so Cato could have him back. Damn me and my imagination combined with Cato's stubbornness for this story to close. So you'll get at least 1 more chapter out of me for this story.

Hope you enjoyed!


	26. Finale Part 2

So sorry this took me so long. Life got a little chaotic after graduation. Also I didn't really want to look at word for a while after I wrote my last school paper ever. I hope you enjoy and I apologize again for the HUGE wait for this chapter.

* * *

The look he gave me was more than just hatred, it seemed to have motivation behind it. Something that was driving him to not only hate me, but to kill me as well. I couldn't look at him after that gaze, having to turn away and hear the increased struggle against the guards.

"Put him over there, chain him to the wall." One of the guards stated. "We can't hold him like this forever, the fucker thinks he's fighting for his life."

Clinking of chains, grunts over the fight for power, and scuffling of boots filled the air: Peeta's unmistakable cry as metal cuffs were placed around his wrists and strung through a bolt in the wall.

Daring to look, I saw him slumped against the wall, his hands dangling in the air from the chains. Our eyes met and his fists strained, the veins on his neck pulsing as he threw himself against his restraints. His lips parted to show his tightly clenched teeth glisten in the dim light.

"Peeta…" I dared, taking a step towards him. "What have they done to you?"

He slumped against the wall, kicking his feet out in front of him. "They didn't do anything to me." He growled. "You're the one that screwed up my life."

I knew what the Capitol did to him, and why he hated me as much as he did; it didn't make me feel any better hearing the words directly from his mouth. "You really hate me that much?"

"There aren't words for how much I hate you." He snarled, looking back up at me. "Your face haunts me. Not only was your face the last thing I saw before I died at your own hands, but you used me to further yourself."

"I never used you, Peeta." I whispered, "I tried to warn you but I was to late. I wish it was me that died, not you."

His laugh startled me from my confession, unnerving every part of me. "Is this your plan? To torture me with your face and make me die from laughing at your lies?"

"I guess everything that happened between us will me marked by that moment?" I angrily snapped back. "I already thought I lost you forever, and now that your back you'll continue to throw my mistakes back at me?"

"It wasn't a mistake, it all went down exactly like you wanted it to." He snapped. "I knew it was a mistake to leave Katniss that morning to go with you. At least she actually loved me."

"That's the thing though, Peeta." I shouted back, "You didn't love her! Everything you know is backwards! You loved me!"

"Maybe at one point." Peeta whispered, "Until you showed your true colors. The first thing you did after Katniss left was rape me!"

"I never raped you!" I shouted. It was like arguing with a brick wall. "I don't even know how you think that could have been rape."

"Yeah, cause I wasn't forced to suck you off in front of the whole country." Peeta rolled his eyes, "That was totally my own choosing."

"If I was so horrible, then why did you stick around?" I retaliated, hating myself for my anger.

"Wasn't many people left. And you obviously were keeping me around until I wasn't worth anything to you anymore. Then you stabbed me, Cato." Peeta huffed. "Can you just leave? Or do I not even get a break from your torturous interrogation."

"Fuck you, Peeta." I shouted back. I didn't want to continue either. He thought it was torture to him? Try being in my place. At least he was convinced he hated me: I was still in love with him, only to have it all warped and thrown back in my face. "You don't think this is torture for me as well?"

"Are you the one bound and chained to a wall?" Peeta asked. "Waiting for night to come and everyone's asleep so you can rape me again?"

I turned, trying to tune out his voice pretending that this was all a nightmare. The small room gave little privacy to all of us and I had just noticed that the room had been cleared. Everyone must have left to give us privacy.

Opening the doors to the stairs, Peeta's last biting words caught me, "And then when you're done with me, will you kill me? Please do, I'd rather be dead than have to see you again."

* * *

The next few days, I stayed in Tigress' shop, sleeping behind the counter and wasting time during the day mulling over my thoughts. Raped him? We only had sex twice, well once really and the other was just fooling around. On neither occasion could I have possibly raped him. Effie said their memories were intact, but warped. Maybe in Peeta's mind, he remembers the sex but in his version I really was forcing him.

Effie, I wonder if she is doing alright. I had been preoccupied with Peeta that I had forgotten about her sacrifice. She was right, he was completely warped. Those you love will become those you hate. Those you hate will become those you love. Wait, that gives me an idea.

"Cato?"

"Huh?" I asked, returning to reality, me hand pulling away from my pocket. "Dad?"

"How are you holding up?" he asked. "You've been up here for three days."

"Just been lost in thought." I answered.

"Don't let him get to you." He answered. "We did capture him for you."

"Kind of hard not to." I slumped against the counter and sighed. "Did you know that he thinks I raped him?"

It wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with my dad, but I needed to tell someone. I had locked myself up for to long and I didn't want to turn back into that person. It was like Peeta and I had switched places. Now he was the one with the mask he refused to take off, and I was the one pushing him to open up to who he really is.

"Cato." My dad whispered, sitting down next to me. "I'm sorry."

"Are you?" I shouted, "Are you actually sorry? To you, he's just another person full of information on the Capitol."

"We can't be sure of that." He answered, "From what we can see, he's only returned to unnerve you. Say what you want, but I doubt they gave him any information. And we wouldn't even try to see if he has any unless you gave us the okay."

"Why are you doing this all for me?" I asked, "We were never close when I was a kid."

"Because you pushed me away." He answered, "And I'm not about to push you away, war or no war."

Resting my head against the counter I thought of my childhood, my mask. I really did push him away, both of my parents.

"Go talk to him." He spoke, resting a hand on my shoulder. "You can't hide from him forever."

"Yeah, I guess." I replied, remembering my plan. I was hoping I had the strength to hurt him; to show how warped his memories are.

Everyone was in the room, going over war plans or conversing, Peeta slumped in the corner looking as if he hadn't eaten in days. He probably hadn't. Slowly trying to kill himself by refusing food. My dad called everyone out of the room. A few of the soldiers looking from me to Peeta, a few others with disgust on their faces.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"A few of the men think that I'm putting you before the war." My dad explained, "They're not to thrilled with how I'm running things at the moment. They want more planning, more action; not catching a prisoner and ignoring them."

Peeta rustled at the sound of my voice and my fathers explanation. At seeing me, he strained against his restraints, eyes bulging with hatred.

"Good luck, son." He patted me on the shoulder and left the room, closing the door behind him.

"And he returns." Peeta barked hoarsely. "Was hoping you left forever, or was killed or something."

I scooped up some water with a cup from the nearby sink and walked towards him. "Drink."

He turned his head away from the cup. "Why aren't you drinking? You'll die if you don't."

"Not afraid of death." His voice scratchy, "Already died once before. Surprised you forgot."

I sat down on the floor in front of him, still holding the cup in my hands. "Do you really want to die as a prisoner?"

"So you admit that I'm a prisoner and not just some project of yours?" Peeta asked. "I'm impressed, you finally seem to be getting it."

I set the cup on the ground, "I never said you weren't a prisoner." It hurt to say it, that he was in fact my prisoner, but I was trying to make him realize that he actually wasn't.

"You implied it, trying to peek inside my head, tell me everything I know isn't true." He snarled.

"If it isn't true then what about this?" I asked, pulling out the marble that Effie had given me the night we planned our escape. "You remember this?"

He cringed at it, looking slightly confused. "You remember? Your dad gave this to you long ago. Your dad, the one person in your family that you gave a shit about?"

"No, my dad was the only one I hated. My mom always tried to make me a better person."

"By beating you with pans?" I asked. "Your dad was the only one that didn't try to hurt you."

He looked at the ground, his brow furrowed. "If you hated your dad so much, why did you keep this marble all those years? And then let me keep it?"

"Stop it!" He shouted. "You act like you know everything!"

"It's a simple question." I replied, "Why did you keep it?"

"I don't know." Peeta answered, "Even if I did, why would I tell you?"

"Peeta, this just proves what I've been trying to tell you." I answered. "You're just confused. You say you hate your dad yet held onto him through this marble. You gave it to me and told me to never forget you."

"Maybe I gave it to you because I hate you. Just like my dad." He whispered.

I crawled closer to him. "Do you really believe that? Would you really keep something only to remind yourself of your hatred?"

"Fuck off, Cato." He said, looking up at me. "I know how I feel, a stupid marble won't change that."

"What about Clove?" I asked, I wasn't sure how he'd feel about her, not having been as close to her, but she did attack him at the very end.

"What about Clove?" He whispered back at me. "She was just a stupid girl."

So he did still care for her, but that last moment with her must have hurt him. He doesn't hate her as much. "Do you really think Clove would have allowed me to kill you? Or hurt you in anyway?"

"She was just your accomplice. She didn't care about me either." Peeta answered.

"Listen to yourself!" I shouted at him, "How can you even think the people you spent all your time with are now your enemies?"

"It was just a game, Cato." Peeta replied, "We only knew each other for a few weeks. How can you hardly say we were that close?"

His words stung. We have only known each other a short time. A short time that felt like years to me, and I thought he felt the same way.

"Hurts doesn't it." Peeta retorted, "The truth stings. Maybe you're the one with the distorted memory. Thinking things meant anything. Think you were the only person that could play everyone? Fuck you. We were there to kill each other."

"But it did mean something." I whispered. How did it all backfire on me like this? "You may think my memories are distorted, but I wasn't the one tempered with. Here, keep this, it might make you realize how stupid you're being."

I rolled the marble towards him. It bumped his thigh but he made no movement to reach for it. I stood up to leave, I couldn't watch him warp how I felt anymore. "Leaving so soon? I was just starting to have fun."

His laugh rang in my ears when I shut the door and returned to the shop.

* * *

"How did it go?" my dad asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." I answered and slumped against the counter in my usual place. "I'll need some more time."

The next two days were the same, I'd work up the courage to talk to him with no results. On the second day, my dad told me he had work to do and had to go out for the day leaving me alone with his squad and Peeta.

After my conversation with Peeta, I retreated to the shop and sat dwelling on the conversation that went no where and questioning my own sanity. The other men had returned to the room to discuss more plans.

An hour so had gone by when I heard the pained grunt and shouting. I jumped up and ran to the stairs breaking into the room holding Peeta. One of the men was beating on him and screaming questions at him.

"Tell us what the Capitol's plan is!" he shouted before slamming his fist against Peeta's head. His grunt filled the room and the other men seemed unphased, carrying on with their discussion.

"What are you doing!" I shouted, running towards the man interrogating Peeta.

"Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you shit!" Peeta spat blood at the man who punched him.

Tackling the man I pinned him to the ground, "I didn't give you permission to attack him!"

"Like I need permission from you!" he shouted at me, "You've been keeping him here locked up, and preventing us from getting information. Now that daddy's gone, I'm gonna do things my way."

"Over my dead body!" I shouted back. Peeta's laughing caught me off guard and the man under me rolled us over, pinning me to the floor.

"Kill him!" Peeta chimed in watching the struggle turn against me.

"As much as I would love to, Rachis wouldn't take to kindly to that." He grunted, "Restrain him!"

The other men stood and walked over, grabbing me by the arms. "Yes sir."

"Good, now be a good boy and let me continue."

"It's about time we saw some action, was beginning to think you all forgot about me." Peeta growled as the man approached him.

I watched painfully as the interrogator asked all his questions; questions that everyone in the room knew by Peeta's answers that he didn't know the answer to. They beat him anyway, forcing him to cough up any information. I knew it had to be frustrating for them. They were here to fight a war and instead they were housing the enemy and sitting on their thumbs. It still didn't make it right.

* * *

The interrogation seemed to last for hours, but when it was over I noticed only three hours had passed and the room was growing darker signaling the approach of night. Peeta lay unconscious on the floor, having taken several blows to the head and bleeding a puddle on the floor.

I turned the faucet on and grabbed a washcloth and tried to clean him up the best I could. He stirred at my touch and I pushed his blood matted hair away from his forehead. He drew closer to my touch, his eyes still closed and I could feel that flicker of heat deep inside me. Maybe the Peeta I knew was still in there, I just needed to try harder.

His eyes opened and he instantly pulled away from my touch. "What are you doing? Trying to take advantage of me again?"

"Knock it off, let me clean you up." I retorted.

"Leave me be, I'm fine." He growled back.

"I'm sorry they did that to you." I answered, wiping the blood from under his nose despite his protest.

"Right." He answered sarcastically, "It's about time they did something around here anyway."

I didn't reply to him this time, finding the silence better than his remarks. I finished up and wrung out the washcloth in the sink, watching the blood swirl down the drain.

The men started to pull their beds together and climbed into them for the night. It was the first night I'd stay in the room since Peeta was captured. It was mainly to protect him, although I couldn't stop the squad from interrogating him again if they decided to. There was too many of them.

The hours rolled by, all of them asleep. I couldn't let myself sleep after watching them torture him. The room started to light up slightly. Dawn was covering the horizon, filling the room with an eerie orange glow.

The orange glow hit me, reminding me of all the good memories I had. The warmth it once provided me and I knew what I had to do.

I walked over to Peeta, his still frame against the wall, arms suspended in the air by the shackles. "Come to finish the job?" he asked as I approached him.

"Yes." I replied, dropping down in front of him. I grabbed the shackles and released one hand and watched it drop limply to the floor.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Letting you go." I answered, releasing his other hand. "I won't watch them torture you."

"This doesn't change anything." He whispered rubbing his raw wrists. His eyes still showed the hatred, but there was a glint of thankfulness behind them.

"Was hoping it would," I started, "But if it doesn't, at least I knew I did what I could. I won't let you rot down here, even if you hate me."

He stood, wobbling slightly on numb legs. "Why shouldn't I just kill you now?"

"If you do, you'll wake all of them, and they would kill you for sure. Better hurry before they start to wake up."

He nodded and walked towards the door, opening it and slipping out of sight.

"I still love you." I spoke into the silence.

It was all I could do, watch him die or set him free. The saying really is true. Set free the ones you love. If they come back it was meant to be. I doubted he'd come back. If he did, it would only be to kill me. But it was better than watching him die before my eyes. Again.

* * *

A/N: Horrah, Part 2 finished, Part 3 will probably be the last unless it gets dragged out again. Haha, Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	27. Finale: To End It All

Sorry this took so long, I was hoping to have it up after a few days after the last one. I feel like I wrote this chapter 3 times... I may be my biggest critic, but the majority of this chapter I couldn't write down the way I wanted to. Regardless, it ended the way I wanted. Thanks for sticking with me even after my updates became more spaced.

* * *

My body was shaking as I stared at the still open door across the room, hearing Peeta's cautious progress out of the building. I didn't regret what I did, but I was sure the consequences would be severe. I hoped my dad would make it back before the others woke up.

"What are you doing up here?" someone spoke from above. The scuffling of shoes became more erratic and I started to panic. Who found him already? He didn't even make it out of the building! The door opened and then crashed shut. "Hey, wait!"

Somehow I was now at the edge of the door looking up the stairs. The tremors in my hands were even more pronounced as if whatever awaited me upstairs was worse than anything I could imagine in the arena. The secret passage leading to the stairs opened and a dark figure shrouded by the morning light appeared.

"Cato." It was my dad. "What have you done?"

"I let him go." I answered, "It was all I could do, they were torturing him while you were gone."

My dad didn't say anything, only stood at the top of the stairs looking down. He let out a sigh and started walking towards me. "Those fools will have some answering to do."

At least my dad was on my side. I needed someone to be on my side otherwise I didn't know what I was fighting for anymore. Was I even fighting? It seemed the battle against the Capitol was only a second thought, my entire focus was on Peeta.

"I'm sure what they did was terrible, but you shouldn't have let him go." My dad spoke. What? What else could I have done? Sat by patiently as I watched a man be beaten? "You know his mind is warped, more so than any of us. Now that he's free, don't you think he'll give away our position? And what of Tigress? They'll for sure know she's a spy now."

"I.." I started, "Didn't even think of that."

"I know why you did it, but could you think more of what your actions are doing?" my Dad spoke calmly. "This discussion is going to have to wait at the moment."

He pushed past me and I slumped against the wall and slid to the ground. "Everyone get up! We have to move, position has been compromised." He shouted to the sleeping soldiers. They all jumped alive, grabbing their things without question.

"Where's the gay kid?" one soldier asked. He spotted me slumped against the doorway. "I mean the other one."

I wanted to punch him at the snide comment, but I was cemented to my spot.

"You will respect my son, soldier." My dad yelled back. "Now unless you have better things to be doing, grab your shit and get moving. We don't know how long it will be until Peace Keepers arrive."

The men feel into order and grabbed their belongings. "Where will we go, sir?" one soldier asked my dad.

"There are many safe houses around for rebels. We'll have to find another one." My dad answered.

"Is this because that mutt is gone?" The man who tortured Peeta asked. "I bet this is your doing, faggot."

His eyes met mine and I felt the old feeling of rage will me. I found myself on my feet, my hands rolled tight into fists. "Fuck you! I'm not the one who broke orders!"

"Because of you, we couldn't even interrogate the little shit. I took initiative and did it myself."

"And a lot of good that did, didn't it." I shouted running at him. "You beat the shit out of a person, that everyone in the room could tell, didn't know the answers to your fucking questions!"

"Enough!" My dad shouted, breaking the fight that started. Turning to me he yelled "I'll deal with you later. And as for you, question whether or not what your doing here! I won't have fighting among my ranks. We are all on the same side."

"Tell your son that." The soldier remarked.

"I said, enough!" My dad snapped.

The soldier grumbled as he grabbed his belongings along with the others. As we were leaving, I spotted the black marble, untouched from when I gave it to Peeta. Picking it up hurt, he left it behind without a second thought. Pocketing it I rejoined the group. We proceeded to the store when we stopped. "Tigress, you should come with us." My dad spoke, "If you stay you'll surely be captured."

"This is my home, Rachis." Tigress purred. "You can't ask me to leave my home."

"If you don't…" My dad started, "I don't even want to imagine what could happen."

"I'll be alright, Rachis." Tigress said, "I've been avoided this long, I can manage on my own."

"But this time it's different." My dad tried to explain, "We have reason to believe that this place has been revealed."

"I know, Rachis." She answered, "I saw the boy leave. My mind is made up. I will stay."

"You'll surely be tortured." I answered, thinking of what happened to Peeta in the same situation. And if she was, then how this was all my fault. I was still determined to believe that releasing him was the right thing to do, despite the chaos is caused.

"That is my choosing. I'm more elusive than you think." She stated "You best be going before they arrive."

"Are you sure I can't change your mind?" My dad asked. Tigress nodded. "Then, thank you, Tigress. Be careful, stay safe."

"As well to you, Rachis." Tigress purred. As we were leaving, she pulled me off to the side. Her fingernails were crafted into claws that dug into my elbow. "You may not believe me, but I understand why you did it."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I knew she was talking about Peeta, but not of what her meaning was.

"I watched, what they did wasn't right." She sulked, "It was much the same for me. You may think since I'm from the Capitol I chose this."

She gestured to her body and features, making me realize she meant what she did to herself to make her look like a tiger.

"At first, I did choose it, but it didn't end well. He had this sort of… Thing for cats." She started, "He ended up leaving me, I loved him to much to give up. I changed thinking it was what he wanted, and might bring him back to me. He only rejected me further. I'd do anything to take it all back and have him back. All I have is this body as a reminder that I wasn't good enough."

It was the first time I heard her talk without her usual purring added in. She was living a lie just like I was, searching for the person who no longer cares for us. Willing to give our lives, even our bodies, to have them back. I turned to leave, giving her my thanks for her hospitality. "Cato, I hope it ends better for you than it did for me."

* * *

We ended up finding refuge in another local house. It wasn't as comfortable as Tigress' cramped shop. We were even more cramped than before. Everyone grumbled as they unpacked, all of them sending glares my way for making living even more uncomfortable. It was getting harder to tell myself I did the right thing when everything was getting worse.

My dad quelled everyone down and explained where he went the day before. He told us that many of the Districts have gained control, only leaving District 7, 11, and 12 to gain power. District 12 only reminded me more of Peeta. District 11 and 6 were near liberation, but because 12 was small it was having troubles and many of the locals were dying off from the battle.

"District 11 agreed to send reinforcements, they expect to gain control within the week. They're a large district with strong people, but because of it, they had more Peace Keepers to counter it. From my contact, they said once liberation is reached, reinforcements will be sent to 12 which is in need."

"That almost makes the entire country." One of the soldiers stated. "But what of District 8? A week ago you said they were struggling."

"District 8 received reinforcements from 9 with aid from 6. The battle plan for 8 wasn't revealed to me in case it leaked, but whatever it was worked perfectly. They claimed power nearly a day after Districts 6's transportation efforts helped District 9 infiltrate 8."

"And what of 7?" a man asked. He seemed more worried than I expected. Maybe I was becoming numb again, the thought of the war and people dying didn't seem to bother me. Or maybe that was just something I held onto from my mask.

"District 7 seems to be in a stalemate at the moment with the Capitol." My dad explained, "The Capitol's ships are holding off the battle, but the general Johanna tells me things are under control."

"The Johanna?" A soldier asked, "Why would she be fighting with us, wasn't she a victor? Someone the Capitol loves for the rest of her life?"

"What am I?" I stated, "You think I'm the only victor who hates the Capitol?"

I was silent until then, no one even knowing I was listening in. "They force you to kill. Granted you are fighting for you life, but there was no reason otherwise." I stated. "I trained my whole life for it… But actually killing someone is different. At least in the arena."

The subject of Johanna's alliance was dropped. "What's her plan to conquer the Capitol's ships? They're just lumberjacks."

"She didn't fill me in completely… But it is Johanna." My dad explained, "Don't you remember watching her ruthlessly killing during her game? I'm sure she has a good plan."

I drifted off during the rest of the conversation thinking about my own game. Did I ruthlessly kill? I did a few times, but I don't think I deserved to win. I wasn't as much of a killer as Johanna, didn't know how to work people like Finnick, I wasn't as cunning as some of the others. I was undeserving. The masked me would have made a victor, who I am right now isn't.

"Cato, can I talk to you?" My dad asked. Both of us left the small room and entered the kitchen. "Whats wrong? Are you thinking about Peeta?"

"Yes… and no." I answered. "All the talk of the other victors, what place do I have? The others seem to be leading the rebellion? What of me? I only seem to be making the rebellion harder by releasing prisoners."

"Cato." My dad answered. "Regardless of how you won, you deserved it. You can't look at past games and judge yourself from them. Especially with what you went through in your own. No one in Panem denies your victory, you fought, protected, and cried for your loses. We are fighting not only to end those but to move forward to a world where they don't exist anymore. I can't imagine how much the games have changed you, but you have to move forward. By moving forward, we find our lives free of the Capitol. Free completely to live how we want, and to love those we meet without having to worry that they will be taken away."

I sighed, "How can I? I've lost almost everything from them. They've even taken Peeta…" But gained so much at the same time. Live or die in the arena, I wouldn't trade anything for it. For most people it ruins their lives, but for me, it changed me. Live or die, I wouldn't trade the memories for anything. Which hurt more, Peeta lost those memories, rather had them morphed.

"Son, I'm not telling you to forget." He answered, "As much as I wish you could, I know you couldn't. You seem alright during the day, but I've heard you during the night. Your nightmares. I'm glad they're only dreams and that you don't seem to remember the next day."

"I have.." I started, thinking more on the subject. "Nightmares?"

It didn't surprise me, honestly I thought I would have them. I did lose my lover and my best friend. How could I not have nightmares about it? Not only about losing them, but about them coming back and trying to kill me. Did I suppress them only to save myself?

"Cato, I want you take a break from this war." He stated, "I know it's hard, but I want you to find yourself before you contribute. I want to make sure you're okay, without the pressure of war."

"I also want to make sure that when the times come, you'll be able to kill Peeta."

* * *

A month passed as I contemplated what my dad told me. Maybe I wasn't cut out for war, not at the time. My mind was elsewhere. I watched reinforcements flood in from different areas. The entire time I dwelled on the thought. "When the time comes, you'll be able to kill Peeta." For the first time, I felt what it was like to be in Peeta's shoes. "Kill Katniss." "When the time comes, will you be able to kill her?" I understood how it felt to pick between those you cared about. If came down to it, which one would live and who would die.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I thought, if the time came, I'd be able to kill him. He wasn't the Peeta I knew anymore. But he still was; only he had his mind taken from him. My true battle was with the Capitol. Could I make it to the heart of the Capitol and take it down without destroying Peeta?

All of this ran through my mind until the broadcast played.

It interrupted all frequencies, frustrating my dad when he was trying to find war plans, only to find Peeta. Soaked in his own blood as the Capitol beat him for information.

"You've been missing for days, you can't say you got distracted by shopping." President Snow shouted as a Peace Keeper smashed him in the chest with their club. "You're hiding something from us, now tell!"

"Fuck you, the Capitol is huge. You don't think I just got lost for a couple days?" Peeta remarked, his voice thick in pain.

"You're lying!" President Snow retorted, "You're protecting something, everyone in the Capitol knows who you are, they know your allegiance. Now spill!"

It dawned on me that he didn't reveal our previous location. Tigress must still be safe. But why, Peeta? Why are you covering for me? You told me that freeing you didn't change anything.

"We know you're out there Cato, and we have everything we need to take you down." President Snow sneered into the camera. "When we break you, we break this rebellion."

The transmission stopped with one of Peeta's blood curdling screams. A scream I never witnessed, but still undoubtedly him. My hands were balled into fists, feeling the sudden heat fill me as sweat dropped down my brow. I tried to turn away from the TV but my dad stopped me, concern written all over his face.

"Cato," He replied as I broke from his hold and left the room. "Don't lose hope."

It was all my fault, I freed him from one prison only to be in another. War or no war, why was he with-holding information about me? He hated me, didn't he? He could have easily told them where we were stationed. What possessed him to change sides? He made it clear that he was against me. By being against me, he was against the rebellion by default. And the current him loved the Capitol.

* * *

The next 2 weeks flied by, my mind still trying to wrap itself around what Peeta was doing and why. More reinforcements came. The liberation of 12 happened, only to end up with the bombing of it. Only a handful of people of survived and another televised interview.

"Now that we've destroyed your home, will you talk now?" President Snow sneered. Peeta looked beaten, his body shattered but still held strong.

"What home?" Peeta remarked, "You took that away from me a long time ago, what do I care of buildings?"

I couldn't take the interview for more the first few words before I left. Could it be that this was all just a cover to bring me out of hiding? What would that do anyway? I wasn't some hero; this whole rebellion wasn't in my name. The two of us may have jump started it, but it was a long time coming. Even without me, the rebellion would continue.

* * *

Three days later, my dad told us it was time to strike. We had enough rebels in the city to attack the Capitol head on. There were survivors from District 12 taking refuge in District 11: I only hoped that Peeta's family was there. He may not have cared for his mom, or so his dad as of now, but I'm sure the news of his families death would crush him. I wanted them to be safe.

Within the few days, I came to realize that this wasn't all about me. Win or lose, the world would be different. If we lost, the Capitol would come down on us even harder. I had to put my issues aside and fight for the country, even if it meant crossing paths with Peeta in a fight to the death.

"Dad," I whispered as the soldiers geared for war. "I want to fight, I'm useless just sitting here and I've watched enough of my friends die."

"Are you sure?" my dad asked, "What if you run into Peeta?"

"Then I will deal with it. I can't keep hiding and it's time we did something." I answered, "Like you said, this isn't a personal vendetta, this is a war. I can't sit by and lose everything because I lost one."

He smiled, handing me a sword. I felt its weight in the palm of my hand, the weapon no longer feeling right in my palms. There was no comfort like there used to be. It was no longer a way of life, but a weapon to end everything I once knew.

Falling into rank, we waited for my dad's signal, a few of the men sending me glares.

"What is he doing here?" one soldier asked, "Shouldn't you be off making out with the TV, waiting for the traitor to come on?"

"He isn't my backup is he?" another asked, "I don't really want him behind me. Not only because of the obvious, but because he might decide to change sides."

"Fuck you all!" I shouted, "I'm here to fight, if you have something wrong with that, then stay behind. I'll move forward even if I'm the last person standing. You know what I'm capable of, you watched me in the arena. All I ask of you now is to trust me. Trust me as much as you trust the other victors."

Upon exiting the building, we broke up into smaller groups. I was in a group of 3, myself, my dad, and the soldier who tortured Peeta. My father barked orders at him, calling him Laser. I never bothered to figure out his name and now, despite how I felt about him, I was glad I knew.

The sounds of battle filled the streets, Peace Keepers running down the road and paying no attention to our brigade in the smaller groups. In groups of three, we simply looked like passerby's rushing home to avoid the battle.

We grew closer to President Snow's mansion when we noticed that it was heavily guarded. So far, no force was needed. "Looks like… maybe 100 Peace Keepers?" Laser asked.

"Looks about right." My dad answered, "Must have expected this. If that's the case then the other groups in the city will have an easier time making it here. We'll camp here for the moment. Wait for the others to get this far before we start."

My dad made a gesture from the alley we were hiding in to the street. We sat in the passage in silence. To pass the time, I practiced with my sword, trying to remember its feel in my hand. I remember how to use it, but it somehow felt like I was picking it up for the first time.

Looking out into the street, I saw Tigress walking down the street towards the mansion. "Dad!" I shouted. Quickly remembering where I was, I dropped my voice to a whisper, "It's Tigress."

I pointed out into the street at her and my dad sprang to his feet. "What do we do?" I asked him.

"I don't know, we can't exactly get her attention without giving away our own position." My dad stated, "If we try, they'll know we made it this far and start the attack before any of the others can get here."

"Lemme try." Laser said, he stuck his sword out of the alleyway, catching some of the light shining of the steel and aimed it at Tigress. "Hopefully the guards are still far enough away that they can't see the light."

She stopped as the light crossed her eyes and turned her feline head towards the alley. Laser pulled his sword back into the shadows. She nodded towards us and walked a little further up finding a vacant house and disappearing into it.

A few moments later, she silently emerged from behind us. "Tigress, what are you doing?" My dad asked, grabbing her by her shoulders.

"With all the sounds of war, I figured it started." She purred, "I wanted to help. I may not look it, but I can fight."

"I don't doubt that can." My dad said, "But you've already done enough for us, you can still live a happy life if we win or lose. You should go back home."

"Rachis, I won't go home." Tigress explained, "They didn't find out I was a spy thanks to that boy, but the Capitol has still taken much from me."

"Let her fight, dad." I answered. "You didn't want me to fight either, but here I am. She's going to fight regardless of what you say. Better she's in on what we are doing than in the way."

Her eyes narrowed at me and she nodded her head.

"Sorry to break the reunion, but would everyone shut up for a moment?" Laser urgently stated.

I stopped moving, trying to listen to what Laser was trying to point out. The faint noise of hissing could be heard over the chaos already filling the streets. "What is that?" I asked.

"Mutts probably." Laser stated. "Who can really be sure. They sound like they're getting closer though."

"So we're stuck between the guards and mutts." I stated, "So much for waiting for reinforcements."

I stuck my head out of the alley enough to see the guards stationed around the mansion. They seemed to be distracted by something. Filling off the side, President Snow emerged, Peeta by his side. He looked completely healthy. How could he? He was beaten on screen. Or maybe it was all just a ruse to get me react. To think I actually got to him.

"Don't trust your eyes, Cato." Tigress spoke behind me. "I'm still standing here, that's proof enough he didn't rat us out. Trust what you feel."

"Or maybe they didn't bother, knowing we probably moved." I spoke directing my attention back to her. "How harmless could one woman be?"

"One woman who knows the safe house locations for the rebels and kept them safe for weeks?" Laser interrupted, "I doubt they would let her slide if they knew about her."

Ringing filled the air and I found myself on the ground. Looking up, I saw an airship dropping bombs on the city. Explosions flooded the city, knocking us on the ground from the close impact. The ringing slowly cleared from my ears and I could hear my dad barking orders to us.

"Stay down, they might be trying to push us out of hiding." He shouted to us.

Shouting picked up from across the street, where members of our brigade were stationed at the moment. "Mutts!"

"We got our own company." Laser shouted looking in the opposite direction. At the clearing of the alley, large frames appeared and started closing in on us. "Get ready!"

I gripped my sword tighter, not wanting the battle to start but there was no choice. The sword still felt foreign in my hand, hopefully my instinct kicked in. My dad and Laser readied themselves, swords drawn and ready to strike, Tigress was in a pouncing stance, her hands outs treatched showing her claws.

The mutts drew closer, the hissing filling the air already thick with explosions throughout the city. Each held an ax, many already covered in blood. Their bodies shimmered with scales and their faces pointed and reptilian.

Tigress lept forward, easily dodging the first lizards swing and slashed at the creature with her claws. She was faster than she looked, easily dropping the first mutt. Laser sprang forward, swinging his sword to block one creatures ax. Jumping in, I drove my sword into the creatures gut giving Laser the chance to move and attack the next.

Looking up, Tigress had jumped off a wall and collided with one of the lizardmen clawing at it. Three mutts were down, but they filtered into the alley with what seemed to be no end. "Dad!" I shouted, barely deflecting an ax with my sword, "We need to get out of here!"

"Not quite yet!" A man shouted from a window. Jumping down, he drove his trident into a creature. A barrage of arrows followed after him, finding their marks.

"Move into one of the buildings!" the man shouted.

"That risks us having go in the street and be found." My dad shouted.

"Be found or be dead, you pick what you want. I'm headed for cover." He shouted, pulling his trident free and running down the alley. Laser ran after him without question. The men across the street seemed to have the same idea, flushing out into the street and searching for cover. Tigress jumped out from behind me, pushing a door open and catching me by the shirt.

Inside, we ran from room to room, trying to find a safe exit and move to a safer location. Running from one room to the next, jumping from one house to the next through the street. "Tigress, I think we're okay for the moment." I shouted to her.

She slumped against a wall, trying to catch her breath. My dad burst into the room along with Laser and the man with the trident. "Okay, we're all here."My dad noted, "Finnick, fill me in on what's going on."

"I pushed through the outer city and made it this far. Johanna and her squa are still out there. I lost touch with them, for all I know they could already be here." Finnick explained.

"What about the bombings?" Laser asked, "Does that mean the Capitol doesn't know we made it this far into the city?"

"I doubt that, that ship is ours." Finnick explained.

"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?" My dad asked.

"Well, District 6 just finished one, it's the only one we have." Finnick started, "Filled with bombs from District 3. Hopefully the Capitol's airships won't arrive for a bit yet. They don't have many left since District 6 stopped making them and many were destroyed during the District attacks."

"So what about the mutts?" Laser asked, "How are we supposed to get past them? There's too many of them."

"My men are taking care of that." Finnick stated, "Got them firing arrows into the alley, those mutts don't seem that smart and probably think we're still there with so many of them dying in the alley."

Looking out the window, I could still see Snow's mansion, the armed guards blending together. Pulling the marble from my pocket I let my mind drift from the war. Peeta, what are you doing? It didn't make any sense to me. I wanted to give up on him, believe the Peeta I knew was gone. His actions lately keep telling me he's still there. My mind tells me he's playing with me, trying to hurt me even more, but my heart tells me he's buried deep in his own mind. I just need to dig further. How am I supposed to do that now? The next time we meet there won't be restraints for either of us. It'll be a fight to the death. I stuck my hand outside the window and let the marble fall from my fingers. There's no point in keeping it anymore. I've already lost him, and keeping it will only make me lose myself. Regaining myself, I turned back to the conversation.

"We'll wait for the call from my men. How many did you start with, Rachis?" Finnick asked.

"I had 21 men, 22 including Tigress, but who knows now." My dad answered. "Not nearly enough to storm the mansion. We have to wait for more reinforcements."

"More groups should be arriving soon." Finnick explained, "My squad was one of the last to enter the city. I'm surprised more aren't here already."

"Looks like we have a problem." Tigress spoke. She was at the window I was previously at, looking towards the Capitol. "Looks like they got a little bored. They're moving down the street."

"Why would they do that?" My dad asked, looking out the window. "Well, it's not the whole guard. They must think they can split their ranks and still be safe."

"Tigress, can you still see if Peeta and Snow are outside the Capitol?" I asked. Someone had to send the guard into the city. "Maybe they ordered them. This could mean we are winning in the city and the Capitol needs reinforcements."

"Doesn't look like anyone's there. Just the guards." Tigress spoke. "But I could be wrong, my vision isn't any better than yours."

"We need to get closer."I spoke, "This might be our chance to strike with their numbers lower."

"Son, we still need to wait for reinforcements." My dad spoke.

"And lose this opportunity?" I spoke, "I can take 3 Peace Keepers on my own, already proved that."

"I think the kids got a point." Finnick spoke up. "With my men and yours combined we'd have about 40. The difference is, we have people that have proven they can fight. Even if it's 35 against 50, we still have the odds."

"Who's to say they split their ranks 50/50?" Laser asked. "Plus, how many of our original squad are even alive? The Capitol could only be sending 20 or so. 40 against 80 isn't very good. Even 35 against 50 has its downfalls."

"I'm tired of talking." I shouted, "I'll go take a look."

The war talk was getting to me; it was nothing but war talk and strategizing. Why did my dad have us mobilize if we were just going to sit around? The sword in my hand was finding its way back to me, and I was itching to use it. Maybe because I cast aside my feelings for Peeta, they could have been holding me back from wanting to use it. Or maybe I was tired of sitting around. We had an opportunity, I wanted to take it. My gut told me to. If I learned anything in the arena, it was to follow gut instinct.

"I'm coming with." Finnick added.

"There's no problem in checking it out." Laser jumped in.

"Have we all forgotten about the mutts?" My dad argued.

"What would you have us do?" Tigress shot back, "Sit back and wait for them to find us? Or take advantage that they are preoccupied and we have an opening?"

I didn't know Tigress had it in her, always seeming calm and reserved. "And what if it's a trap?" My dad retorted.

"Rachis, we're only going to check it out." Finnick answered. "It's not like we're going to launch the attack."

I had enough of the talk and started towards the door. "I'm going with or without you, dad."

"Cato…" My dad started. I walked out the door and made my way through the alley, vaguely aware that Tigress, Finnick and Laser were following.

"My dad isn't coming?" I asked.

"I'm here, Cato." He replied, "Not that I want to be, but you seem bent on it. Hell if I'll let you walk right into a trap alone."

It appeared that the mutts had cleared out, a few of soldiers, some I could recognize, scattered the alleys we passed.

"From this, looks like we lost about 8 men. Who knows how many more we lost." My dad interrupted.

Finnick signaled to the windows and shadows darted from across the street. "My men are coming with us."

The closer we moved to the mansion, the more guards I could make out. It seemed to be about 60 Peace Keepers. "What now, Cato?" Tigress asked.

"I'm guessing, 60 guards?" I spoke.

"70." Laser interrupted. "Thought that group leaving was bigger, or the Capitol has more reinforcements than I thought."

"Finnick?" I asked, "Did you see any of the other squads when you made your way through the city?"

"Not really, but more should be arriving soon. Like I said earlier, we were the last to enter the city."

"How many can your men take down with their bows?" I asked.

"From here? Maybe 20 before they reach us." Finnick explained.

"Leaving about 50 for the rest of us." I strategized. "There's the 5 of us, Tigress, Finnick, and I can for sure hold our own against more than one. Maybe 3 or 4 each. That's 12 more tops leaving 40ish. How many men did you say you had?"

"12." Finnick answered.

"Damn, still not enough." I replied. I desperately wanted this war to be over. I wanted to go home, be free from the Capitol and how it reminds me of Peeta. All the numbers flowing through my head meant nothing if I couldn't actually fight anyway. I knew I used to be able to take 3 peace keepers, but now? My head started to hurt.

"We've had our look. It's still too dangerous." My dad answered. "Let's get out of the alley in case more mutts come around."

"Wait. I want to see where those soldiers are going." I said poking my head out of the alley and looking down the road. The guards were still marching in sight. Why send out a group of 30 and have them march visibly? Isn't that just asking to be ambushed or just a target to be bombed by the ship? "What are they planning?"

"Maybe nothing at all." Finnick answered. "They could just be sending more to the front thinking the mutts cleared us all out."

"We've come to far. There has to be something we can do." I stated.

"Maybe I have an idea. It might break their ranks and give us a fighting chance." Finnick started. "I could have two of my men send arrows in as a diversion. It might split their ranks, or the whole group will rush them. Even if they do nothing, my men can keep picking them off one by one."

"That might work." My dad answered. "But how will we signal that to your men, and who would volunteer for that?"

"Stop trying to be strategic, Finnick, you aren't very good at it." A woman said from behind us.

"Johanna!" Finnick shouted, "What took you so long?"

"Ran into some trouble with mutts, lost most of my squad, but the 6 of us made it." She answered, showing her two axes dripping with the black muttation's blood. "Who's the cat?"

"Tigress."

"Of course it is…" Johanna snidely remarked, "Isn't she a citizen? Don't know anyone to dress like that where we come from."

"She's a rebel." My dad answered, "She's proven herself enough to be here."

"Okay, homo's daddy." She sarcastically replied. I knew her skill in battle, but her remarks had me more on edge than what she could do. She grinned up at me. "Bloody Cato, I presume. Went a little soft in the Arena, was hoping for a better show."

"Now isn't the time, Johanna." Finnick stated.

"There's always time, Fin." Johanna retorted. "Anyway, where are we standing?"

"70 guards. The five of us, 12 of Finnicks men, and the 6 of yours." I answered bitterly.

"I like those odds." Johanna stated, "Been waiting to sink my axes into something less scaly. Whats the plan? Walk right up to them?"

"Make them come to us. My men can take out about twenty before they'll be on top of us." Finnick explained.

"Fifty left, huh?" Johanna added. "Fifty against twenty-three. Lets do this."

* * *

The signal was sent, Finnick's men in place, bows drawn awaiting the order to fire. Finnick was talking over with my dad trying to make sure everything was in place. Tigress was sharpening her claws, Johanna playing with her axes. Her eyes caught mine.

"Hey kid, come here." She said. I approached her, not sure what she wanted and not completely trusting her. "Think you dropped something earlier."

She handed me the marble. "No, I dropped that on purpose."

"Don't be an idiot. I could see you from that window when you dropped it. You didn't look like you wanted to." She answered. "Plus, we all saw what it means to you during the games. Don't let that fade."

"Whats with the attitude change?" I asked her. The Johanna I saw each year at the beginning of the games was the same as the one I met earlier.

"If you don't want my advice then fine." Johanna stated, "Just remember you aren't the only one that had someone you love taken by the Capitol. I wish I had a stupid marble to remember them better with."

She threw the marble at me. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

Finnick chimed in. "The Capitol killed her family, she has nothing more to lose. It makes her more deadly, but even more careless. She doesn't want you to turn into her; someone who has nothing and became the Capitol's puppet."

I picked up the marble off the ground. Maybe she was right. Even if it ended badly between me and Peeta, the marble didn't signify that. It signified what we had, not what was taken away.

"Johanna…" I started.

"Yeah yeah." She waved me off. "Just take the damn thing."

"I think it's time." Laser stated. "There's nothing more we can do to prepare, and if we wait much longer more Peace Keepers could arrive."

"Probably right." Finnick answered, signalling to his men and watching the first barrage fly into the guards. "Ready or not, here they come."

They formed a wall, at first not moving. They looked as if they were unsure of what they were doing, it was perfect, allowing more arrows to find their targets. It didn't take them long after that to storm the street and find the source.

"Once they get into range, my men won't be able to fire anymore. To much of a hazard, might miss and take one of us out. They'll flank the group leaving the eleven of us to fight alone until they can assist." Finnick explained.

I played with my sword, itching to use it again. I gripped the marble in my other hand, wanting to hold onto it even if this was my last battle. If this was the end, I want to go with my happy memories.

"There's the signal." Finnick explained, "They're close, we better spread out a bit more so all of us can fight. Into the street!"

We spread into the street, watching the wall of guards grow closer. I pulled my sword back, finding my stance. Finnick to my left, trident poised; My dad to my right, sword outstretched.

"Don't die on me, Cato." My dad yelled to me.

"You either, dad." I replied.

The guards reached us, the clank of our swords marking the beginning of the battle. Tigress jumping into the thrall slicing into the Peace Keepers with ease. Finnick blocking attacks and simultaneously attacking. I saw Laser instantly fall, despite what he did, I didn't want any of us to die. Blocking an attack, The Peace Keeper fell on me, his blood splashing me in the face. One of Johanna's axes sticking from his back. "Come on, Lover boy. Get up and fight!" She shouted as she ripped her ax free.

I stood up, swinging my sword into a Peace Keeper, freeing one of our men from a parry. That's when I spotted Peeta in the distance. This was it. Me against Peeta. 'Can you kill him Cato?' rang through my ears. I guess I'll find out.

I pushed my way through the Peace Keepers, catching a sword in the leg. I stumbled slashing at the Keeper on top of me. Pushing him off, I found myself face to face with Peeta.

"This how it's going to end?" I asked him.

"Guess so." Peeta answered, wielding a sword of his own.

"Even know how to use that thing?" I asked him.

He nodded, "I know enough."

I turned the subject, wanting to know the truth before I killed him, "Why didn't you tell Snow about us?"

"What does it matter to you?" Peeta retorted. "Maybe I did it just so you would question yourself at this moment."

"Could have saved yourself some trouble if you just told him." I answered back. "At first, I thought maybe it was all staged, but now I can see the bruises."

"Sure those aren't from your men?" Peeta stated.

"Come on, Peeta." I shouted, "You can't still think that everything you remember is right. Why would Snow torture you if he cares so much about you? And why do you think I seem to be the only one that cares?"

"Enough with your mind games, Cato." Peeta answered, "This ends here."

"I guess it does." I answered, gripping the marble in my hand tighter. Pictures of the happy Peeta flooded me: his smile, how he stood up for me, fought for me, was there for me whenever I needed him. All the fight in me vanished. How can I be expected to kill him?

I dropped my sword and knelt in front of him. "If you hate me that much, then just kill me. I was prepared to die in the arena for you. Things just didn't go as planned. Peeta, I'm sorry they took everything from you. I'd change it all if I could. But even now, I can't kill you. I never could."

He raised his sword. This is it, this is where it ends. I looked up into his eyes. They seemed distant and afraid. Maybe it was staring death in the face, but that small warmth inside of me flickered as he looked into my own eyes. I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

I watched the darkness from behind my eyelids. "Cato! No!" Dad? I'm sorry, dad. I couldn't face him. This way it's fair. I killed him, he kills me. We're even. I guess I got what I wanted after all. I die, Peeta lives. That was the plan all along wasn't it?

I felt his sword strike, my body locking up at the shock. I kept my eyes shut, not wanting my last memory to be him covered in my blood. I fell to the ground. Clutching the marble tightly I tried to think of the Peeta I loved and let the darkness come.

* * *

A/N: Holy crap that was longer than I thought it was... Anyway, there will be an epilogue. Hopefully this chapter flowed together better and I didn't end this story with the worst chapter I've ever written. Again, thank you to everyone who made this story possible. Without you guys, this would have stopped around chapter 9.


	28. New Beginnings

My eyes opened, the room out of focus. My first thoughts drifted to if this was what death had in store for me. Then I realized I've been here before. The same room, if I'm not mistaken. Maybe I'm supposed to spend eternity in a place like this, every little thing reminding me of what I've done.

"You're awake?" a high pitched voiced squeaked from somewhere nearby. I could move my arms but realized I was connected to something. Fantastic, this wasn't a dream.

"Why do I keep waking up in this room?" I asked. My voice didn't hurt as much as it did the last time I was here. "Shouldn't I be dead?"

"You would be if it wasn't for him." The voice answered.

"Who?" I whispered, finding it easier. "Dad?"

"Cato…" Her voice dropped. Who's voice did it belong to? "Your dad isn't here."

My eyes started to focus, the room's previously white walls were a dull grey. "Why not? And why does my head hurt so much."

"Don't you remember anything?" she asked. "Maybe that's for the best."

No, my memories are all I have. Or had, I wasn't going to let them go. I had to know. "Tell me."

"Maybe it's easier for you to see for yourself." She was behind me, pushing the head of my bed up. Looking across the room, I saw several occupied beds.

"What happened?" I asked, spotting Tigress in one of them. Johanna was in another.

"They made it through the battle, but just barely." She spoke softly as if not to disturb their sleep. "You were outmatched more than anyone could have guessed. Reserves were in the mansion. You were outmatched 10 to 1."

"But we're in the Capitol?" I asked, "How is that possible?"

I turned to look at her for the first time, seeing Effie. "Effie! I thought you were dead."

"Not yet, Cato." She smiled. "It's possible because we won. All because of him."

She pointed to a far off bed, "I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden he was releasing us from our cells. Many were captured soldiers and ran to join the last of the battle. Just in time for everyone to break through to the mansion and capture Snow. He called for a surrender and the battle ended."

"Everyone thought you were dead. At least until—"

"Why is he here?" I cut her off. The far bed was Peeta. I was happy to see him, but how can everyone be saying he was a sort of hero, "How can you say it was all because of him."

"Cato, aren't you sitting here proof?" Effie explained. "From what I heard from some soldiers, he's the reason you're alive."

"But how? I felt the blow, I remember it." I answered.

"From what Johanna said before she passed out was that a Peace Keeper was behind you ready to kill. Peeta knocked you out, didn't kill you. He made it look like you were dead. If he hadn't you'd actually be dead."

"That doesn't make any sense." I whispered more to myself than to Effie.

"That's the truth, Lover Boy." Johanna spoke, pushing herself up in her bed. "Saw it with my own eyes. You went as limp as a sac of potatoes. But the crazy doesn't stop there. The little bastard ordered the Peace Keeper to do something. The Peace Keeper ran off towards the mansion and Peeta knelt in front of you before turning on his own men. The little guy packs a punch, keeping up with me and Tigress."

"You should get some rest, Johanna." Effie spoke.

"Quit pussy footing around him." Johanna snapped, "He's gonna find out. Mind as well know the full story from someone who was there."

"Let her continue." I answered turning to Effie, "I want to know."

"After that, more troops came out from the mansion. I didn't know how many of us were left, but we barely making it with the first wave. I signaled for a retreat."

"Where was my dad?" I asked. Effie stiffened and shot Johanna a silencing look. Johanna rolled her eyes and continued.

"Your dad didn't make it. I watched him fall trying to get to you during your suicide attempt." Johanna muttered. "And what the hell was that all about anyway?"

"My dad…" I felt myself going numb. He wasn't supposed to die, we made a pact before the battle. But then again, I was the one who broke it first.

"Johanna," Effie stressed, "That is enough, where are you manners? The boy doesn't need to be hearing this so bluntly."

"No, I'd rather it be this way." I answered. I don't know why, but this is how I needed to hear it. Johanna was right, I didn't need someone to beat around the subject. "Continue."

"We moved down the street, but that idiot over there wouldn't come with us. He had taken a bigger beating than us, but pushed himself even harder. It was like he wasn't even human, or had the same death wish as you." Johanna explained, her nose scrunched at the thought. "I don't know what made me go back, for all I knew at the time was that you were dead by his hands. Tigress and Finnick must have seen me run back because they followed. The four of us stood before the second wave."

"I got a few words with him before the battle started. He told me he wasn't going to stop. He'd make it easier for you. This way neither of you had to kill each other." Johanna whispered. "It didn't make any sense, I thought you were already dead. The boy really did have a death wish. What is it with you two anyway? Both so eager to see the end."

"You'd do the same in my shoes." I whispered to her.

"Doubt that, I actually have a sense of duty. Wouldn't sacrifice myself when I knew others were relying on me to finish the job." Johanna commented.

"How did it end?" I asked. "How did the four of you survive the last wave?"

"We didn't all make it." Johanna answered.

"Cato, like I was saying earlier, the prisoners were released. They must have waited in the mansion and attacked from behind." Effie explained.

"They did. Our own soldiers poured out of the mansion and attacked. I still don't understand how they got out, but they couldn't have come at a better time." Johanna stated.

"It was Peeta." Effie explained, grabbing a handkerchief. "He was the one that freed us."

"That kid is just full of surprises." Johanna started. "Took their sweet ass time since Peeta was with us the whole time."

"I'm still lost." I started. "What could have made him switch?"

"That's something you'll have to ask him, if the little shit ever wakes up. He took more of a beating than me or Tigress, but kept going." Johanna answered, "Anyway, the four of us made it into the mansion; Peace Keepers were still standing guard inside and got the better of Finnick. Tigress seemed to know the way to Snow's chambers and we eventually made it there. Should have seen Snow's face when Peeta burst into the room next to a victor and a Capitol citizen. He looked completely betrayed, his own creations here to end his rule."

"It was quite entertaining." Tigress spoke up. She must have been listening the entire time, letting Johanna explain.

"After the battle, Peeta told me you weren't dead and we rushed back to get your sorry ass. He smacked you with the blunt side of his sword." Johanna explained, "Took quite a hit too, your pulse was weak. We got you here and all of us have been here since."

"How long ago was this?" I asked.

"A few battles are being diffused yet from Capitol Supremacists, but since the surrender, only a day." Johanna answered, "I think. I've been out for a bit to, only getting information from Franken Barbie over there."

"I beg your pardon?" Effie spoke, "I'll let you know I've been in a cell for nearly 2 months, you expect me to be all prettied up already?"

"No one cares." Tigress hissed, "We just won a war."

I tried to stand but Effie grabbed my arm. "Let me go." I shouted. "I need time to mull everything over."

"Let him go, Princess." Johanna explained.

Effie released my arm and I stood, unhooking myself from the machines. It was hard to walk, my feet having a mind of their own. My head throbbed, my brain mixing up what I was doing. Teetering on my feet, Effie was next to me trying to steady me. "No, let me do it on my own." I shouted at her.

She backed away and I made my way to the door. Stumbling through the opening and watching it slide shut, I sunk to the floor resting my head in my hands. My dad was dead. I figured I'd be more torn up about it; especially since we bonded over the past two months. It was hard to believe he was actually gone. And Finnick, sacrificing himself just like my dad for the rebellion. I felt like both of their deaths were on my hands. If only I went through with my plan and killed Peeta, my dad would probably still be here. And I could have been there for Finnick in the mansion, both me and my dad.

The thoughts quickly disappeared as Peeta came to mind. What were you thinking? What changed? You made it clear that there was nothing I could do to help you. It was me against you, somewhere it changed.

Standing I made my way back into the room. The quiet only brought more thinking which hurt my head even more. Walking into the room; Effie, Tigress, and Johanna were watching me. I stumbled closer to my bed but caught sight of Peeta across the room. Turning, I stumbled toward him, passing Laser in his own bed.

"Cato…" Effie started, "Maybe you shouldn—"

"Let him." Johanna jumped in, "He has to figure it out on his own. Put the pieces together. It's what I had to do when it all happened."

I made it to Peeta's bed. His face was scratched up, ugly open wounds starring back at me. The wounds reminded me of the slice down his cheek from the arena. I sat next to him, laying my head on the bed next to his arm. "Why did you do it, Peeta?"

I reached up for his hand, taking it in my own. They were cold, but the warmth in me was still there; probably always will be. I noticed something in his hand, something small. I pulled it free from his grasp and held it up to the light. The black reflecting the light back at me, the small marble shimmered. How did you get this? It was in my hand during our fight, how did it end up in yours after? Johanna said he knelt before me before he turned on his own men. Did the take it from me? Did the marble cause you to turn against the Capitol? There were too many new questions. My head was starting to spin and I felt black fingers trying to take away my consciousness.

"Cato? Are you alright?" Effie asked from across the room. I put the marble back in my palm and reached for Peeta's hand before my mind slipped into darkness.

* * *

I woke up in my own bed, reconnected to the machines. I felt much better, my head no longer feeling fuzzy. I tested moving my arms and the movement didn't seem sluggish or uncoordinated. Looking around, I noticed Tigress and Johanna were gone. Effie was across the room sitting with Peeta who seemed to be awake and eating.

"Effie?" I dared to ask. Peeta shot me a glance and looked away sheepishly.

"Cato?" Effie returned the question. "Are you awake? You scared me last time. You passed out for two days. Nothing but bed rest for you, no more walking around."

"Effie, I'm feeling better." I retorted. "Everything seems to be back to normal, no more confusion."

"That makes one of us." Peeta murmured. Effie patted him on the shoulder before standing and approaching me.

"What does he mean?" I asked.

"Well, we've been watching the games. Johanna thought it might trigger something if he watched them." Effie said, "I thought it was a barbaric idea. He says he remembers things differently, that certain things didn't happen or happened differently."

"Is that a good thing?" I asked.

"I think he's starting to realize things aren't the way he remembers them to be." Effie stated, "But it seems to be pushing him away more than helping. Or at least making him close in how he's feeling. How about some lunch?"

If she had asked me merely seconds earlier, I would have said yes. Now, not so much. My appetite disappeared the moment I heard what they were doing to him. "Not hungry."

"But sweetie, you haven't eaten in nearly four days." Effie complained, "You need to eat something."

The door slid open and Johanna walked in, "He said he's not hungry, Effie."

"I'm starting to not like that woman." Effie grumbled, returning to Peeta's side so Johanna could talk to me.

"How you feeling?" she asked.

"Much better." I answered. I cut right to the chase, I wanted to know more. "Did he say anything about it—"

"He did." Johanna interrupted. "He said seeing you there triggered something. He doesn't know what it was. All of a sudden he was fighting the people he was previously leading into battle."

"He had to realize what he was doing after that." I commented. How could he not? Initially maybe, but after the battle and storming into the mansion, some clarity had to return.

"Personally, if you want my opinion?" Johanna asked as if I could have denied it. "Think he was thinking clearly. Don't think he expected to survive through it. I think he was trying to take himself out the best way he could, let you move on."

I didn't say anything, only mulled over the thought. It didn't fit to me. Why not just take me out with him? He was supposed to hate me. Peeta had to know something and wasn't sharing it. I was tired of the infirmary, to many times I woke up in this room thinking of him. I needed to leave, and if it was what Peeta wanted, I'd move on. Or at least try to.

"Can I leave?" I asked Johanna. "I can't take this room anymore. Spent too much time in here."

"Why are you asking?" Johanna answered, "Just get up if you want to."

I shot a glance at Effie, picturing her scolding me for trying to leave. Johanna was right, I felt fine and I needed some air. "Is it safe outside?"

"Yeah, it seems the last of them surrendered as well. Think it's finally over." Johanna confirmed.

"Good, I need to get some fresh air." I stated, draping my legs over the side of the bed. I disconnected myself from the machines and stood, feeling more grounded and in control than last time. My legs did what I told them to. I looked over at Effie who was scolding me from a distance. It didn't matter, I was up and I was determined to get some air. My eyes drifted past Peeta who seemed to shuffle uncomfortably in his bed. Without even thinking about what I was doing I asked, "Would you like to come get some air?"

Effie gasped, "Cato, I don't think that's such a—"

"I'd like that." Peeta answered cutting Effie off. I heard Effie mumble under her breath about people having more manners and let people actually finish a sentence. "Promise not to pick my brain?"

"Promise." I replied. At least he was able to stand being around me.

"Keep an eye on him; don't let him escape if he makes a run for it." Johanna answered, "There's still more we need to know."

I brushed off her comment and waited for Peeta to stand up and join me. We silently walked to the balcony, looking out across the Capitol. It seemed demolished, many soldiers left, a few staying behind to help rebuild. I somehow expected it to be the same the last time I was on this stage, when I accepted the crown as the victor. It's all changed.

"I expected you to jump right into questions." Peeta admitted. "I should have known you wouldn't."

"What do you mean?" I asked feeling slightly hypocritical for asking a question right after what he said.

"I was used to torture, but even after it all I'm still being tortured. Mentally rather than physically." Peeta admitted, "My head doesn't know what to think anymore."

"I know the feeling." I admitted having fought my own head before. "But it was you that freed me from my own mental prison."

"Don't." Peeta replied, "From what I saw, I already know that. Please don't push that on me now, I'm not ready for it."

"Sorry." I apologized. Something I learned to do more easily since I met him as well, but I wasn't going to tell him if he didn't want to hear it.

We silently stood on the balcony. I wanted to ask him so many things, but didn't want to push him further away.

He turned to me smiling. The first time I saw him smile since after he died. The heat inside me ignited and I could feel him coming back to me. "I want you to have this back." He dropped the marble into my hand. I shook my head and made him take it back. He needed it more than I did right now. "It probably saved me from myself back there. You know, when you pulled that out on me before they tortured me, I hated you for it. It only made my head spin with conflicting memories. After you released me, Snow captured me and did the same thing. Except this time, you weren't there to free me."

"How did you get out of it?" I asked.

"At that point, I started to think. If the person I hated freed me, why would the person I feel most loyal to torture me? I kept you from him to spite him. After a while it became tiring, so I made some bogus excuse. Little did I know it was actually a different safe house. Snow put me back in charge after that."

I didn't know what to say to him. He turned towards me, "I don't get it; we're supposed to hate each other. At least in my head, yet you were the only one that gave a shit. It makes my head hurt trying to make sense of it."

"No offense, but it makes my head hurt too." I agreed, "I don't know what to expect anymore, you threaten me one moment and what seems like the next, here we are; standing on a balcony looking over everything that seemed to start because of us."

* * *

We didn't speak much for a while after. I attended Finnick and my dad's memorial and watched someone new take power. Their first announcement was to unify everyone and to rebuild what was lost. Not only so we can move on, but to remember those who died for our new country.

Peeta seemed to have disappeared, along with Effie. Johanna went back to District 7 to help them rebuild leaving me with only Tigress for company. Tigress was busy rebuilding, taking over as the Capitol's own architect. I was amazed at how much she knew, making her even more of an enigma. It was hard to see her as the cat she used to be, becoming an outspoken and knowledgeable person.

I dreamed of going back home, not knowing how much longer I'd be stuck in the Capitol. I played my part, helping rebuild but found myself drifting in my thoughts. I asked Tigress when she was free if I could home soon. She confirmed that I'd be able to soon.

Effie walked into my room soon after telling me that Peeta returned to District 12. Many of the survivors were back rebuilding, he wanted to see his family and see if he could figure things out on his own. She told me he wanted to say goodbye but part of him didn't. His memories conflicted and he didn't know what to say, better to leave in silence. She also added that he came a long way, now being able to pick out his true memories from the ones altered.

I was happy for him, but I was still hoping that he would have found his way back to me. At least he was rediscovering himself; now it was my turn to do the same. I couldn't do that here, I had to be back home. Like Peeta, I had to bring what was left of my family back together, make things right with my mom.

I found myself on the next train back to District 2. Walking off the train, I didn't even recognize my own home anymore, the mountain in the center crumbled, homes destroyed, streets uprooted. I wasn't the only one who to had to rebuild myself, everyone did. I made my way down the seemingly familiar but destroyed beyond recognition, road home.

My home still stood, beaten by the war, but still there. I walked through the front door and found my mom sitting at the table alone. "Mom?"

"Cato?" She stood and ran towards the door grabbing me in an embrace. "You're finally home!"

"I am." I repeated, hugging her back and whispering more to myself, "Finally home."

* * *

Over the years, the district grew and became livelier. People had their homes again and a reason to be happy. Johanna and Tigress stopped by every once in a while to check up on things. Tigress was moving up in the Capitol's ranks and assured everyone that history wouldn't repeat itself. Johanna was asked to become the first official general of the new army, but declined. She told me she had enough of war and suffering already in her life. I didn't blame her, my past mirroring hers to an extent.

Even Effie dropped by every now and then, filling my head with her latest news. She seemed to have fallen back into her old ways, still being the gossip filled overly sophisticated woman she used to be. As nice as it was to see her, I also hated it when she visited, always reminding me of Peeta who I haven't heard a single thing from him since the balcony.

I started a new life for myself, but never really moved on completely. I found that I was a decent carpenter and worked repairing homes and building new ones. The switch from sword to hammer was surprising easy and I enjoyed what I was doing. My relationship with my mom grew, even after I moved into my own home; one that I built for myself next door. I lost my childhood with her, I didn't want to lose anymore time to learn who she was. She doted, something that always annoyed me as a kid, but now made me realize she always cared.

Today was a regularly scheduled visit from Tigress. I enjoyed our visits, hoping she had more architecture for me to critique and potentially build. I pulled out some finger food for her visit when I heard the knock at the door. I walked over to the door, opening it.

"You're early, Tigre—" I stopped. I was expecting the familiar sight of the catwoman, but only saw someone I haven't seen in years. "Peeta? What are you doing here?"

"Figured it was time for a visit." He answered. "Gonna invite me in?"

"Uh, yeah, of course." I stepped to the side and waved him in. "Feel free to have a seat."

"I heard you built this." Peeta spoke, seemingly nervous. "It's nice."

"I did." I answered, "Uh, thanks."

We sat in silence at the dinning table.

"Whats new?" I awkwardly asked. "Been a while."

"Yeah, I went home and helped rebuild my families bakery." He answered, "Stuck around for a bit, trying to work things through. Not really sure how I was convinced I liked my mom more. She's kind of a bitch."

"So you've said before." I laughed.

"Got me thinking. If I loved my mom that much and she treated me like that, yet hated my dad who was almost as nice as you; where does that leave you?" He asked. "Been thinking about it a while. Those memories are still there, but they're easier to filter. And from what I learned with my dad, after I make more memories, the old ones become less prominent."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, "That you want to try and create new memories with me to erase the old?"

"Something like that." Peeta answered. "You loved me once. Apparently I did to at one point."

"Not sure if I can go back to it, Peeta." I answered. "You weren't the only one that was hurt. I tried to win you back. You come here years later and expect to pick up where we left off?"

"No." Peeta shouted at me, "Not pick up where we left off: start over. There has to be a reason you're always in my head. That day at the battle still haunts me, something in me told me not to kill you."

"No offense, but you're not really convincing me to try again." I stated.

"It's all coming out wrong." Peeta looked frustrated. "I was working up the courage to do this, had a speech and everything, but now there's nothing."

"It's okay." I answered, "I know what you mean, I was never good with words if you can remember that. Pretty sure I've said more stupid things to you than that."

He looked up at me. "Even in my twisted memories, I remember it being so much easier to talk to you."

"Try this. It always helped me when I didn't know what to say." I grabbed his hand. "Back then, knowing you were there always helped me talk."

Even after all the years, the heat that filled me was still the same. He was always in my mind, but I don't know if I can actually go back to things. I started over, even if he was always in the back of my head. He seemed to pull away at first, but kept his hand under mine.

"What is this?" He asked me.

"What is what?"

"It just feels…" He stopped looking at the ground. "Right."

"You can feel it too?" I asked, "That warm feeling at our touch?"

"Something like that." He answered, "It feels familiar, but at the same time not. I can't remember feeling it, but its there."

A knock at the door surprised both of us. "Cato?"

Tigress voice came from behind the door. "Just a second, Tigress." I shouted to the door. I stood, regretfully taking my hand from his. "Hold that thought."

I opened the door to Tigress holding blueprints. "Now a bad time?" she asked peeking into the room and spotting Peeta. "I can come back later."

"No, no, it's fine Tigress, come in." I answered. What was I doing? I didn't want to be rude, I was expecting Tigress, but I didn't want her to be here right now.

"It's okay, I'll come back." She answered, "I'll see if your mom's home. Have some tea or something."

I mouthed a thank you to her before closing the door and returning to the table.

"I didn't know you were expecting someone. I can go." Peeta mumbled and stood from the table.

"Don't." I answered, grabbing his hand. "It's okay."

He sat back down at the table, confusion clouding his blue eyes. His mask was peeling, but still there. Even after all these years, it remained. I urged him to continue.

"I wasn't expecting you to be so on top of things, honestly." He stated.

"Kind of had to make the best with what I had." I answered. "Didn't think I'd ever see you again, honestly."

"Sorry about that." He apologized, "I wasn't really there that day. I wish I had said goodbye to you instead of just leaving."

"It's all good; I can understand where you were at." Part of me just wanted to ask, Why are you here? Did you really come back just to win me back? There's nothing to win back, you always had me; even now, his touch reminded me of that.

"Can I do something?" he asked, "It's kind of a strange request, but I want to see what it doe; what memories resurface."

"I guess." I answered, I didn't know what to expect from him.

He stood up, walking towards me. His eyes seemed to clear, showing me the deep blue I remembered. He leaned towards me, our lips gently touching. In shock, I felt myself pull away.

"I'm sorry." He pulled away embarrassed.

"Wait." I answered, pulling him back down and letting myself melt into the kiss, feeling the heat build in my stomach. The feeling I've been missing for years returning to me, making me feel more alive than I've felt in a long time.

It vanished as fast as it started as he pulled away from me, his eyes regaining their cloudiness to match his confused expression. "What? Am I that bad?" I asked.

"No." He answered, "Just that feeling, mixed with memories that shouldn't have that feeling."

"Did you enjoy it?" I asked. "The kiss I mean."

"At first." He admitted, "Then those memories…"

"Then shut your mind off, don't think." I told him. I reached up for him again, but he pulled away. "You want to forget? Make new memories? This is the first step."

"Moving kind of fast, aren't you?" He asked.

"The last time, I was the one that said that." I replied, "I was the one who thought we went to fast, but I was also the one trying to break free from myself. Now it's you that needs to break free."

I pulled him back down, meeting his lips again, this time he let himself melt into me. I pushed myself further away from the table and pulled him onto my lap to deepen our kiss. The fire inside igniting again, the warmth I've craved was in my grasp, I was determined to have it back. He pulled away gasping, still seated on my lap.

"Turn your mind off." I whispered, finding his lips again. I was met with more passion this time, feeling him pull me closer to him. Our tongues met his battling for control. My hands found their way to his back, feeling the muscles I still remembered ripple beneath his shirt. His hands found my hair, pulling it making the heat inside me spread. I moved my hands lower, grabbing his ass and pulling him up further on my lap and heard him moan into my mouth.

He broke our kiss, looking down at me with his deep blue eyes, no longer clouded. He untangled his hands from my hair and moved them to his shirt, pulling it free from his body. His beautiful body before me, almost exactly the way I remembered it except covered in small scars. "Are you sure?" I whispered to him.

He nodded before reconnecting our lips. I ran my hands down his naked back, feeling the heat inside grow even stronger at the touch. I broke our kiss only to remove my own shirt and toss it aside, finding his lips moments after.

His hands returned to my hair, my own to his back rediscovering what I thought I'd never have again. I reached lower, feeling him through his pants. He broke our kiss and moaned into my neck, letting our chests touch. I moved my hands to his legs, grabbing them tightly and lifting both of us from the chair and setting him on the table, still standing myself.

"The table?" he asked.

"Room's too far." I answered, capturing his lips with my own again. He wrapped his arms around my back, hands running across my shoulders. He gently laid back, pulling me along with him. His hands moved from my back to my belt, forcing it from its buckle; his fingers making quick work of my pants and pushing them down, releasing my hardening member. I pulled away from him to slide them further down before moving back in to devour his lips, my fingers trying to unbuckle his own pants.

Fumbling with the zipper for a moment, I finally was able to pull it down and reach my hand in. I pulled him free, running my hands up and down his length and feeling him moan against me. His hand reached down, grasping the hem of his pants and pushing them down. I broke away from him to fully remove my own pants allowing him to take his own off.

Tossing them aside, I crawled back on top of him, attacking his neck. I bit into his neck gently, grinding into him pulling groans from both of us. "Cato." He whispered, grinding back up against me.

Hearing my name from him drove me further, kissing down his body like he did to me so long ago, stopping to lightly nibble at each scar I passed on his chest. I reached his cock and looked up at him. "Glad you're still with me, didn't shut your mind off completely."

I smiled up at him before taking his length in my mouth, swirling my tongue around the head and feeling myself grow harder at his moans. "God, Cato." He moaned.

I slipped further down, taking more of him into my mouth. I ran my tongue up and down the underside of his member and started to bob my head up and down his length. "Fuck, Cato. Been to long, I'm not gonna last." Peeta groaned. "I don't want this to end like this, I want to feel you."

I let him slip from my lips, catching his blue eyes. "Got something in mind?" I asked.

He lifted himself up slightly and spread his legs to the side giving me more access. I ran my fingers down his length, gently pumping him before moving lower. I rolled his balls in my hand, watching his eyes close and gasp. His hips rocked up into my touch. He was spread out for me with his eyes closed, having no idea how beautiful he really was.

I let my fingers travel lower finding his entrance. I pulled my hand away and spit into my palm, letting my saliva coat my fingers. My finger circled his entrance, my eyes focused on the way he was moving under my touch. Gently, I slipped my finger in, feeling his heat surround me only adding to my own heat building inside.

I added another, trying to loosen him quickly, but not wanting to hurt him. I needed this just as much as he did. For both of us to find ourselves again. "Come on Cato, I'm good." He groaned.

I pulled my fingers out, spitting into my hands again to slick myself. I aligned myself and pushed in slowly, feeling his entrance surround me with heat. "Fuck, Peeta." I moaned.

I pushed in further, watching his face tense with each forward motion. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just keep going." He strained.

I fully entered him and waited for him to adjust, remembering how much it hurt. I reached down, running my thumb across the scar on his cheek. He nodded up at me and I slowly pulled back, feeling his insides cling to me as I pulled out.

"Fuck!" I moaned, starting a slow rhythm, trying to find that spot inside him. That spot that made me see stars. My own heat started to increase and it took all I had to keep a slow rhythm.

"Cato!" Peeta gasped, pushing back against me, "Right there!"

After finding it again, Peeta started to relax, moaning into each thrust. I was starting to lose myself, the feel of Peeta beneath me setting me on fire. I reached down, capturing his lips with mine, my hips snapping up into his.

"Oh god, Cato." Peeta moaned ripping away from our kiss, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

I reached lower, grabbing him in my hands and pumping to my thrusts. "Cato!"

He slipped over the edge, eyes shut tightly. His cock throbbing in my hand as he spilled his load. He spasmed around my length. Shit, so hot, so tight. "Peeta!" I shouted feeling the fire inside me explode.

* * *

I woke up, still on the table. Peeta's warmth wasn't next to me, I looked to my side and didn't see him. "Peeta?"

I crawled off the table, finding my clothes and noting that Peeta's were gone. "Peeta?" I shouted into the seemingly empty room. "This isn't funny!"

I turned back to the table and caught sight of a crumpled piece of paper. Approaching it, I noticed the black marble laying on top of it. "No..." I whispered.

I opened the crumpled piece of paper, marble in my hand.

_I'm sorry, Cato, but I had to leave. I don't want you to regret what happened, because I never will. It gave me the first happy memory of you that I know is true. I've realized that asking you to help me was selfish, it's something I need to figure out on my own. You know better than anyone, you can't build a house in one day. I'll need some more time to find myself. I can tell you still love me, and it hurts me to say that everything in my head won't let me say it back. It's the reason I had to leave, watching you care so much for me when I can't return the favor. Someday, I know I'll be able to come back. Come back to tell you, to be there for you like you have been for me. _

_Peeta._

The marble dropped from my hand when I crumpled the paper in my hand; my eyes starting to water. "I do still love you."

"And I'll be waiting."

* * *

A/N: Thank you to everyone. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this and watching my characters grow. It's not the happiest ending, but I hope you'll understand why I ended it the way I did. Oh, and sorry for the crummy smut, I really shouldn't write that kind of stuff. I hope you all enjoyed everyone's journey through this story, you all made it possible. And I love you all.


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